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Illustration by Sue Mondt

I don't remember the exact quote, but Stephen Hawking once said something to the effect that "At the beginning of the universe" (and at the end, I presume, as well) "all of the laws of physics break down." Which is to say that the old mathematical models, our friendly tools on so many planets for as long as we could think, no longer apply.

I've always likened the end of a relationship to that moment in the Titanic ballroom when the cocktails suddenly leaped out of the glasses and the chandeliers smacked sideways on the ceiling. Everyone's eyes are set in the glazed orange calm of mortal terror as the sea's teeth punch through the warm wood and steel of their world, people grab onto anything, clutching anything to their hearts, going down. Where is the floor? Which way is up? And how will we live through it?

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Next page: Heartbreak: The formaldehyde cure