Books
Awakening the dude within
American men crave manly advice from dudely savants. Dwight Garner straps on his reading jock and tries to find out why.
Like a lot of guys I know, I have zero tolerance for the self-help industry and the sad weenies who buy into it. I can’t help it. When I climb into someone’s car and there’s an eight-pack of Anthony Robbins or Barbara De Angelis cassettes rattling around on the floorboards where the Freedy Johnson and Lucinda Williams tapes ought to be, all my warning bells start a-clanging. I’m convinced I’m in the presence of either Biff Greedhead or someone who, at any moment, is likely to turn to me with a lunar grin and declaim: “Hey, man, strap on these black Nikes, have some punch and we’ll wait here in my mini-van for Hale-Bopp to swing back around!” Either way, I want out.
It’s not fair to lump self-helpers in with cultoids. I know this. Yet it’s hard not to notice that most self-help books, like most cults, do aspire to the level of religion. Read me carefully, their authors intone, voices heavy on the apostolic reverb, and I will show you the true path. Want a promotion? Better sex? Respect from your peers? Follow me and we’ll go there together. The threat of quitting these programs in midstream is like the threat of quitting Rogain: You’re back to square one, and that spiritual bald patch is beginning to take over your inner rain forest.
There is a funny flip side to my mistrust of the self-help industry, however. Like a lot of atheists, I secretly want to believe. My life is fucked up in a number of minor ways that don’t seem beyond repair, and when I’m reading self-help books — usually after an editor orders me to write a piece like this one — I often find myself genuinely (and humiliatingly) jazzed by them. I catch myself taking their advice and making little goal-oriented lists for myself: Write that novel! Exercise, you tub of lard! Call your poor Aunt Doofus in Ohio more often! Quit sleeping till noon! Don’t whack off so goddamn much! This enthusiasm lasts about a day. By then I’ve sunk back into a slough of despond and have ordered enough greasy Chinese take-out to medicate myself into the millennium.
There’s no simple way around the fact that the need for self-help gurus — from Ben Franklin to Sam Keen — is hard-wired into the American male’s psyche. It’s not just that we’re a nation of strivers, though we surely are that. As Paul Fussell suggested in his book “Class” (1983), here in America, “We lack a convenient system of inherited titles, ranks, and honors,” so that “each generation has to define the hierarchies all over again.” Almost uniquely, Fussell writes, an American “can be puzzled about where, in society, he stands.”
What’s worse, an American male is often puzzled, right down to his gonads, about whether he’s really a man at all. Pale creatures of suburbia, we feel a pang while watching that “Seinfeld” episode where George and Jerry decide that they’re not men at all — they’re boys. Maybe that’s why we’re so bizarrely riveted, at 3 a.m., by the sight of Anthony Robbins striding a sound stage and explaining how to, in his words, “Wake up and take control of your life!” The last time I caught one of Robbins’ smarmy late-night success-a-thons, I was reminded of something Martin Amis wrote, in his book “The Moronic Inferno,” about Ronald Reagan’s performance at a 1979 campaign stop: “Watching him talk, his off-centred smile, his frown of concentration, his chest-swelling affirmations, you feel moved in that reluctant way you feel moved by bad art — like coming out of ‘Kramer vs. Kramer,’ denouncing the film with tears drying on your cheeks.” I’ve never cried while watching Anthony Robbins — just kill me if you come across me this way — but I know of what Amis speaks.
To read a pile — almost any pile — of self-help books is to be plunged into a sea of, as Amis might put it, really bad art. The world that unfolds is almost completely bare of respect for ideas, language, subtlety, ambiguity. But my reactions to the five books discussed here surprised me. I found myself responding to them in the way I respond to bad movies — that is, I developed a strong preference for straightforward hack work over overblown, “sensitive” cheese. I cheered Kentucky basketball (now Boston Celtics) coach Rick Pitino’s Boy Scout Handbook-like exhortations, in his current bestseller, “Success is a Choice,” to “establish good habits” and “learn from role models.” At the same time, I scorned New Age guru Keen’s efforts to lead me on a “soulful quest” or a “heroic journey,” as well as touchy-feely Chicago Bulls coach Phil Jackson’s stories about how he pumped up his team by covering the locker room walls with Lakota Sioux artifacts. Call me old-fashioned.
Keen’s and Jackson’s books are part of a relatively recent trend in self-help books for men. Influenced by Joseph (“The Power of Myth”) Campbell, Native American spirituality and Eastern religion, they’re written in almost direct response to the win-at-all costs, Vince Lombardi mentality that fills many of the “success” handbooks aimed at men — books with such heartwarming titles as “The Business Secrets of Attila the Hun.” Keen and Jackson write as much about friendships and relationships as they do about eviscerating the other team. Like Steven Seagal wearing black leather and trying to save the environment in the 1994 movie “On Deadly Ground,” they want to be sensitive and kick a little ass.
Keen’s message, when you strip away the hokum about the “pilgrimages into self,” is about staking out what he terms a New Virility — about stepping back from your job and your relationship and pondering what you really want out of life. American men haven’t learned the joy of solitude, he writes, and he suggests getting away from it all for a while and getting in touch with (inner and outer) wildness. While you’re sitting around the campfire, he gives you little mental jobs to do, such as taking the following mental quests: “From False Optimism to Honest Despair,” “From Cocksureness to Potent Doubt” and “From Having the Answers to Living the Questions.” If you can manage all this without knocking over the Coleman stove, all the better.
Jackson’s book, “Sacred Hoops,” covers some of the same ground (he approvingly quotes everyone from Carlos Castaneda to William James), but he’s more concerned with teamwork than personal journeys. Jackson sounds nothing like your typical NBA coach — certainly nothing like Pitino or Pat Riley, other coaches who have written gung-ho self-help tomes. “Love is the force that binds teams together,” Jackson coos, sounding like Barry White in sweat pants. “Winning is ephemeral.” We hear a lot about how he has come to “balance my masculine and feminine sides” (with a little help, one assumes, from friends like Dennis Rodman). He gets his players into meditation and visualization, and tries to teach “aggressiveness without anger.” These practices have probably helped the Bulls. Then again, it can’t hurt that Jackson can visualize Michael Jordan as his Plan B.
If you can put up with their straight-out-of-Santa Fe verbiage — Keen and Jackson don’t write purple prose, they write turquoise prose — there’s nothing inherently fallacious about anything these well-intentioned men have to say. And I find that I more resemble them in temperament and inclination than I do, say, Anthony Robbins. But whenever someone tells me they’re going to help me improve my soul, I shift my wallet to the front pocket and run like hell. It’s what a Roman Catholic childhood will do to you.
Reading books by basketball coaches, it’s hard not to pick up on some cheap irony in advice such as love can win you a championship (Jackson) or hard work can make you great (Pitino). All the love and sweat in the world didn’t help me — a very slow, very white and moderately short guy — make my high school varsity team. I imagine that women and minorities feel something similar when they push themselves in other areas only to find that, through no fault of their own, doors have been closed in their faces. This isn’t to suggest that love and hard work aren’t admirable traits; only that it can help to be 7-foot-1 and have arms as long as Olympic vaulting poles. Dogged persistence only pays off if you’ve chosen your goals and strategized wisely.
The success of books like Jackson’s and Pitino’s (and those of millions of other sports figures before them) makes you wonder: What is it about sports coaches that exerts such a pull on the masculine imagination? James Dickey dug around in this question in a great — if slightly blustery — poem called “The Bee,” about a father whose young child, frightened by a sting, is about to run onto a busy highway. Trying to get there in time, the father mentally calls out to his old Clemson backfield coach, Shag Norton, who exhorts him to get the lead out: “God damn/You, Dickey, dig.” Dickey’s narrator continues: “Dead coaches live in the air, son/Live in the ear/Like fathers, and urge and urge. They want you better/Than you are. When needed, they rise and curse you/They scream when something must be saved.”
The problem with idolizing most of these gifted screamers is that so few of them have lives that are actually worth emulating. Take Pitino, whose “Success is a Choice” is as good a 10-step program to crank up your career as any. (As a public service, here are his 10 steps, in order: Build Self-Esteem; Set Demanding Goals; Always Be Positive; Establish Good Habits; Master the Art of Communication; Learn from Role Models; Thrive on Pressure; Be Ferociously Persistent; Learn from Adversity; Survive Success.) Yet his family barely gets a passing mention in his book. He dresses like a slick, fussy salesman. He seems about as deep as a TV anchorman. He cites Pierce Brosnan as a potential role model. Do I really want to be like this man? Yet I found that his boilerplate, Franklin-esque advice (early to bed, early to rise, etc.) rang more true to me than anything Keen or Jackson had to say.
I’ve always been an admirer of Franklin’s “The Autobiography,” a self-help essay couched in the form of a letter to his son. Franklin can sound a tad stuffy at times (“I never went out afishing or shooting; a book, indeed, sometimes debauched me from my work, but that was seldom, snug, and gave no scandal …”), but his work is so full of wit and wordplay, good humor and good sense that it’s just about irresistible. It’s everything a book of advice should be.
I hadn’t seen an epistolary self-help narrative like Franklin’s in bookstores for a while, so I couldn’t resist picking up Charlton Heston’s new foray into the genre, “To Be a Man: Letters to My Grandson.” Having just spent a terrifying hour with this book in my lap, I have just a small amount of my own advice to dispense: Should you ever meet Heston’s grandson, Jack — who is damned cute, if the book’s multiple photos are to be believed — a few years down the line, be prepared to flee. Because granddaddy’s been pumping the poor kid with bile, if not yet actively supplying him with sidearms.
“To Be a Man” takes wild and gratuitously vicious swipes at dozens of targets, from gays and feminists (aka the “Amazons at N.O.W.”) to Hillary Clinton and public assistance. A typical passage reads thusly: “Somewhere in the busy pipeline of public funding is sure to be a demand from a disabled lesbian on welfare that the Metropolitan Opera stage her rap version of ‘Carmen’ as translated into Ebonics.” I won’t even get into Heston’s zeal for handguns. “To Be a Man” may be the most aggressive and mistrustful book aimed at children that’s ever been published.
Now that I’m a few weeks away from becoming a father myself, I’ve been thinking about the kind of advice I’d like to pass along to my own child. I’ll probably be tempted to say something like: “Son, if you feel a ‘fire in the belly,’ take an antacid.” Or: “If you’re tempted to ‘awaken the giant within,’ keep Timothy McVeigh in mind.” But what I’ll really say is this (to borrow a phrase from Ben Franklin): If you’re going to debauch your life with books, why not make them real ones?
Dwight Garner is Salon's book review editor. More Dwight Garner.
Memorial Day fiction: Are we there yet?
Salon exclusive: At the start of the summer fiction season, new stories from Chris Pavone and Natalie Bakopoulos
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) “Are we there yet?”
It’s a dreaded sentence. When it’s spoken by an anxious child from the back seat, it’s enough to make stressed-out parents wish they’d never taken a family vacation in the first place. And even if it’s delivered as a sing-songy punch line, from an impatient partner or spouse on a long road trip, it’s an irritating eye-roller of a joke.
So this Memorial Day weekend — the unofficial start of the summer vacation season, and therefore the summer fiction season — we asked two novelists to reclaim the sentence in a new and adult context. For our latest fiction project, there was only one simple rule: Each story had to include the line “Are we there yet?” in a fresh and surprising way.
Continue Reading CloseDavid Daley is the senior culture editor of Salon. More David Daley.
“Tubes”: What the Internet is made of
If you think your data lives in the cloud and flies through the air, you're wrong
Andrew Blum The title of Andrew Blum’s “Tubes: A Journey to the Center of the Internet” is a ricocheting joke. When Alaskan Sen. Ted Stevens described the Internet as a “series of tubes” back in 2006, he was roundly mocked for not understanding the online world despite being chairman of the Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee and therefore instrumental in overseeing it. Stevens may not have known what he was talking about, Blum (a correspondent for Wired magazine) acknowledges, but he wasn’t wrong, either. In writing this account of “the Internet’s physical infrastructure,” Blum found that “one thing [the Internet] most certainly is, nearly everywhere, is, in fact, a series of tubes.”
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Exclusive: The Paris Review, the Cold War and the CIA
Letters discovered by Salon show even deeper Cold War ties between the Paris Review and a U.S. propaganda front
(Credit: Salon) In 1958, the Paris Review’s George Plimpton wrote his Paris editor with a grand proposal. The Russian author Boris Pasternak had just been awarded the Nobel Prize. But under pressure from the Soviets — humiliated that “Dr. Zhivago” had to be smuggled out of the country — he refused it. “The Pasternak affair has caused such a stir here,” writes Plimpton from the journal’s New York office, “and is in itself an event of such importance in lit’r’y history that we feel the Review somehow should chronicle what has happened…” Writing to Nelson Aldrich, the Paris editor, Plimpton suggests short statements by a “variety of authors asked to comment. What does Sartre have to say on this matter … Aragon, Neruda, Waugh? Here [in New York] we have Niccolo Tucci … digging up statements, mostly from writers who (as he is himself) are refugees from tyranny…” Plimpton goes on to suggest that the Congress for Cultural Freedom, largely and covertly funded by the CIA, might fund brochures to help publicize the issue.
Continue Reading CloseA co-founder of Guernica, Joel Whitney is a Brooklyn writer whose work appears in The New York Times, The New Republic, World Policy Journal and The Paris Review More Joel Whitney.
“People Who Eat Darkness”: The disappearing blonde
A true crime story set in Tokyo illuminates the complicated truths behind media cliches
Joji Obara and Lucie Blackman (Credit: Estate of Lucie Jane Blackman) Lucie Blackman, 21, went out for the afternoon in 2000, phoning her roommate and best friend Louise to arrange a meeting later that night. Lucie never showed up, and within a few days she’d become one of those vanished blondes whose fates fuel headlines and hours of speculative media coverage. She was British, a former flight attendant, and she and Louise were living in Tokyo. They were also bar hostesses, a profession with a very specific meaning in Japan, difficult to explain to foreigners and not entirely clear to the Japanese themselves. Lucie both did and didn’t match the classic Missing Blonde profile, and for a while the mystery of what happened to her threatened to lapse into permanent obscurity.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Corporate criminals gone wild
The maker of the documentary film "Inside Job" has a new book excoriating Wall Street -- and President Obama
A detail from the cover of "Predator Nation" “Inside Job,” Charles Ferguson’s Oscar-winning documentary film on how government, Wall Street and academia colluded to deliver us the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, made a powerful case that something was very very rotten at the heart of the American political/economic nexus. His follow-up book, “Predator Nation: Corporate Criminals, Political Corruption, and the Hijacking of America,” can be considered the legal brief that dots every “i” and crosses every “t” in his argument. A tightly argued, profusely footnoted and deeply enraged castigation of everyone involved, “Predator Nation” isn’t just a factually unchallengeable account of how Wall Street blew up the global economy. It’s a denunciation, a call for justice and a warning: After getting away with the crime of the century, Wall Street still isn’t satisfied.
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Andrew Leonard is a staff writer at Salon. On Twitter, @koxinga21. More Andrew Leonard.
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