James Poniewozik
Dee Dee to block
Former Clinton press secretary Dee Dee Myers' appearance on "Hollywood Squares" may seem odd -- but she was just doing what she was trained to do.
A career in government is not always remunerative, but to the talented and dedicated it can have great rewards. You get access to the corridors of power. You get to occupy the offices, walk the rooms, sit in the chairs occupied by giants: Franklin Roosevelt … Dean Acheson … Rose Marie.
Dee Dee Myers, currently a contributing editor with Vanity Fair, formerly White House press secretary, co-host of CNBC’s “Equal Time” and, more recently, a much-sought-after slightly rueful Clinton defender who practically had her clothes moved into Larry King’s closet during the year of Monica, extended her media brand this past week by serving as a celebrity guest on the syndicated revival of the game show “Hollywood Squares.” The woman who once paced the War Room with Carville and Stephanopoulos was now holding forth in the august company of Martin Mull, Whoopi Goldberg, Caroline Rhea, George Wallace (the comedian, not the segregationist Alabama governor), Louie Anderson and America’s Olympic sweetheart, Kerri Strug.
Oh, sure, you might think that this is a strange career advancement for a former political macher, and perhaps an inappropriate way for one to trade on a reputation earned at the center of American government. But you would be wrong. After all, what is the primary goal of a guest on the classic game show, where two contestants try to determine whether a given celebrity has given them the correct answer to a trivia question?
It is to disseminate disinformation. Who better to fill that role than an experienced White House press handler?
Consider the similar strategies: disarmingly addressing your questioner by the first name; reading a pre-prepared joke answer off cue cards to buy yourself time and amuse the audience; and giving a straight-faced answer that could just as well be true as not. After all, remember, the successful government mouthpiece can’t just dissemble all the time; in life, as on “Hollywood Squares,” one must every so often throw out the straight, unvarnished truth, just to keep your interrogators guessing. Jesus! She just could be telling the truth this time!
Indeed, with the Lewinsky saga finally (maybe?) past us, there is an entire raft of languishing media stars of the impeachment era, flying high last January, now staring at their cell phones, waiting for them to ring. While some — Laura Ingraham, even the hapless Paul Begala — have landed permanent perches, an entire generation of pro- and anti-impeachment spokespeople has been cruelly pushed from the televised teat. If only there were more celebrity game shows willing to chip in, some of these poor souls could be helped to readjust to normal life. Where is “Match Game” when you need it? “The $25,000 Pyramid”? (“It’s about the perjury …” “What will we tell the children …” “I know! ‘Things You Say to Justify a Multmillion Dollar Perjury Trap!’”)
In any event, one Lewinsky refugee had found her place: Sporting her new Gillian Anderson coiffure and a professional (but fun!) bright jacket, Dee Dee had come ready to play. Unfortunately, relegated to the strategically unimportant middle right-hand spot — not a corner, not the center, not the Paul Lynde or even the George Gobel position — Dee Dee languished uncalled night after night; not even picked up by the camera for the logical reaction shots after Clinton jokes. On Thursday, however, as X’s and O’s piled up around her in a hard-fought round, the call came.
“In the 1970s, the U.S. government introduced the ‘Suzy,’” began host Tom Bergeron. “It failed miserably. What was the ‘Suzy’?”
Yes! No one could miss this setup; indeed, to a seasoned pro of the sex wars, it was all too easy. Myers practically rolled her eyes as she ventured, grudgingly, “I’m just glad it wasn’t ‘The Monica’!” to only tepid laughter from the audience. Oh, fickle public! Just weeks ago, it would have brought down the house! Finally, she offered, “The Susan B. Anthony dollar.”
The Susan — nah, too obvious! The numismatically challenged contestant disagreed … was wrong and lost the square.
Suckered again! Just like riding a bicycle.
And a little scumbag shall lead them
The past week's news gush nearly tripped up attempts at year-end news wrap-ups, but James Poniewozik sees clearly: The big news this year was sex and the president.
Last weekend, the House of Representatives met in a special session to resolve one of the gravest matters ever put before it: selecting Time magazine’s Man of the Year. At least that was the case if a gossip item in the New York Post was accurate — that Time was standing by ready to name Hillary Clinton Woman of the Year if impeachment failed, and, failing a vote by press time, home-run king Mark McGwire.
Continue Reading CloseRosebud
A last word on last words, and on the media we love to hate to love.
The thing about famous last words is there aren’t many. “Rosebud” hardly counts, since it was written by a screenwriter who was probably thinking not of his final end but about when he’d be able to knock off work and go get properly loaded. Bartlett’s gives a few “attributed” bon mots for Tolstoy, Dickinson, Wilde, etc., which, tellingly, suddenly thin out with the advent of recording technology. Even Christ was a mixed bag: In Matthew and Mark he howls, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” — a closure-denying humdinger of an exit — but Luke and John give him the flat “Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit!” and the even flatter “It is finished.” (Any of the three, in any event, being undercut by the speaker’s getting two encores in the New Testament.)
Continue Reading CloseToto, I'm not Dave Kansas anymore
So what's wrong with Web journalists becoming stock tycoons?
I‘m moving in the wrong direction. The revolving door is spinning so fast into online media — ‘scuse me, Mr. Dobbs! pardon, Dr. Koop! hey, watch the elbows, Mr. Arnett! — one can hardly get through the other way. I am, however, leaving Salon; next month, I’m going to Time magazine to write about television. [Note to copy editor: insert here that malicious and inaccurate attack on Henry Luce that we discussed last week. -- Ed.] In so doing, I willingly forfeited a chance to attend my generation’s Woodstock: being part of a gen-u-ine Internet initial public offering.
Continue Reading CloseRiding shotgun
Five years ago Thursday, a white Bronco rolled onto an L.A. freeway -- and ran over the barriers between the media and everybody else.
If I had to thank or blame someone for my becoming a media critic, I suppose it would have to be Mr. Higgins. That, anyway, was the imaginative pseudonym employed by a gentleman who called Peter Jennings during a certain live ABC special report five years ago Thursday. Mr. Higgins purported to have knowledge about a certain man inside a certain automobile, knowledge that Jennings and you and I lacked, that we were all achingly watching a video feed for, that Jennings and his producers would, understandably, have loved to be the first ones to air.
Continue Reading CloseCaviar culture
How long will the masses be able to afford mass media?
Entertainment Weekly, which discovers and obsesses over television shows with a serial lover’s passion — take its torrid mid-’90s fling with “Friends,” whose number the magazine recently pulled back out of its little black book for old times’ sake — has now turned on to “The Sopranos.” EW teased a preview package for the HBO Mafia series’s encore summer run on its cover — including an A-to-Z glossary, the EW equivalent of the Congressional Medal of Honor.
Continue Reading ClosePage 1 of 16 in James Poniewozik