Robert Burton
Ask Dr. Bob
Orgasms, cellulite and chronic fatigue: Who could ask for anything more?
What is the difference between a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm?
Half an hour. Sad to say, the Salon Health & Body editors weren’t satisfied with this answer! Off to Medline to find out the real poop. Not a straight answer anywhere. But I did find a few titillating bits.
Where is the orgasm located? I wondered. Patients with complete spinal cord transection can experience all phases of orgasm. The response can be elicited by manual stimulation, even when the patient has no skin sensation. On the other hand, Andrea Dworkin to the contrary, women can achieve orgasm exclusively through visual imagery. (Hello, Hallmark, do I have an idea for you.)
Good news for you poor marksmen. There is no specific G-spot; rather there are multiple vaginal areas that are erotically sensitive. Take your pick.
Bad news for those with certain fantasies: The so-called female ejaculate is biochemically indistinguishable from urine!
During orgasm, brain metabolism preferentially increases in the right frontal region — the same brain area that is used to recall old memories. Is fantasizing about old lovers merely biochemical overflow? Or an evolutionary visual aid?
The best good news: The ultimate physiology of the orgasm remains a mystery. Which means goodbye to Teutonic sex manuals and specific guidelines. A whole generation went neurotic trying for simultaneous orgasm. Forget it. Anything goes. Even explanations.
Mechanical? Reflex? In the mind? Asking, “What is an orgasm?” is akin to opening Pandora’s box.
I have cellulite and it’s driving me insane. I don’t go to the beach because of it. I see things like Cellasene that advertise to get rid of it. Is it possible?
I confess total ignorance as to what cellulite actually is, but I know it when I see it. Not a pretty sight, but not the end of the world, either. I know a very pretty woman with one leg, and she never worries about cellulite. Thigh and hip dimpling is a physical breakdown of subcutaneous tissue just beneath the skin with bits of fatty tissue bubbling up through small connective tissue defects like tiny hernias. It is exclusively mechanical, more common in women for reasons unknown, not some metabolic screw-up or accumulation of dread toxins, nor is it directly related to fat or caloric intake. It’s simply bad luck that gets under your skin.
If you can’t accept nature, try high fishnet stockings or dim lighting, or forego doggie-style. All are cheaper and have better results than the current crop of snake-oil drugs on the market.
Bottom line, don’t worry about the bottom lines. And be reassured; none of the remedies is as effective as self-deprecation. As for Cellasene, the company talks of success in unpublished studies (the medical equivalent of “the check is in the mail”), but a Medline search revealed the big nada. Sorry.
What is chronic fatigue syndrome and how could one of those gals on the U.S. women’s soccer team have it and still play? I don’t get it!
I am sick and tired of chronic fatigue. Talk about mass hysteria, this is a case of a non-diagnosis becoming a national epidemic. You can thank a bunch of self-important doctors and ill-informed, self-righteous support groups revving up a populace primed to enjoy poor health. If crucifixes were still in vogue, I am sure that there would be no shortage of volunteers.
Once upon a time chronic feelings of lassitude, lack of energy, generalized aches and pains and sleep disturbances were considered typical of depression. In fact, when I was in medical training, the euphemism was “masked depression,” which meant that the doctor recognized that the patient was depressed, but the patient didn’t. Of course, forgive me for saying this, but such a diagnosis presumed that the doctor might know something about the patient that the patient didn’t know. That was a perfectly reasonable presumption until psychiatry went into the toilet. Now you can’t tell people they’re depressed. You need a new medical vernacular. Hmmm. Let’s see. How about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)?
“Way excellent,” said the pseudo wise men.
The term means NOTHING.
In what we call CSF, there are no specific lab-test abnormalities or alterations in muscle function. If you have any question about the non-physiological nature of the fatigue, watch an elite-class athlete compete day after day in Women’s World Cup soccer, functioning at a physical-fitness level most of us can’t even imagine, yet she is feeling that she is ill. Right … And Tiger Woods should be able to hit the ball 50 yards farther.
In all fairness, there are plenty of well-respected physicians who firmly believe that CFS is real. And, perhaps for a small minority of patients with the complaint of chronic fatigue, there is a yet-undiscovered physiological basis. Perhaps, perhaps. I am not convinced. The last word is not in, but my last words on the subject: Freud was plenty wrong, but better than many of the alternatives. Recommended link: Depression in Primary Care, Vol 1.
Why are doctors so defensive when the patient asks lots of questions and does his own research?
Why shouldn’t we be? What gives you, the intelligent, well-informed patient, the right to think that you are actually capable of conversing with HMO-crazed, constantly harassed, so-busy-curing-the-ungrateful-that-there’s-no-time-for-reading, but medically sophisticated (a minimum of eight years of grueling training) former God figures? It is the height of naiveti and thoughtlessness to believe that you can actually understand medical information without sacrificing your young adulthood staying up all night in order to save chronic alcoholics from self-immolation and cellulitis. (And at a fraction of post-MBA salaries, though I do not want you to think that self-sacrifice and lack of participation in the recent economic bonanza has triggered any subliminal bitterness.)
Medicine is a fraternity. No one can join without proper hazing. Pay your dues, then we will listen.
By the way, would you mind covering for me this weekend? I’ve got two tickets to the Stones. Just slip on my white coat and keep talking over the patients. No one will know the difference. Besides, you already have all the answers.
A practical tip: Doctors are human, are exactly the same as the rest of us/them/me/you, but have been tainted by a taste of power and drama unequalled in any other profession. It’s only natural that they (to varying degrees) believe their own sales pitch. If you want the best care, ignore their pomposity and imperiousness. Pretend that they are maitres d’ and that they are going to get you the best seat in the health restaurant. Seduce them with compliments, a gracious smile, a thank-you note. Once you have them on your side, anything goes. You can send back the wine, rip up the tablecloth or bring in a zillion questions.
Another tip: If possible, interview your general practitioner before signing on. Offer to pay for the time. Most blind dates start over coffee, not by going directly to the pelvic and rectal exams. Don’t be shy or coy in the beginning. Think colonoscopy, and ask every question that stands between you and comfort. Remember, you are hiring the doctor.
Cogito ergo sum, baby
Toddlers have amazing philosophical minds that work like computers and can teach us a world about ourselves
I confess the idea of babies carrying on philosophical investigations never crossed my mind until I met Alison Gopnik, professor of psychology at University of California, Berkeley. Gopnik, a cognitive scientist with cross-training in philosophy and common sense, has spent her career carefully and cleverly teasing out the previously unsuspected complexity of a baby’s thoughts. In her new book, “The Philosophical Baby: What Children’s Minds Tell Us About Truth, Love, and the Meaning of Life,” Gopnik incisively and compassionately highlights the extraordinary range of mental capabilities of even the youngest child.
Big Pharma says your mysterious pain is real
A brain scan told them so. And now they can sell you a drug. But what is unreal pain?
When I was finishing my neurology residency, a junior professor in internal medicine asked me if I’d like to create a research project with him. I told him I didn’t have a subject in mind. He replied, “No problem. We’ll find a group of people with a common ailment and run all the lab tests imaginable. Something abnormal is bound to turn up and we can cash in on being the first to discover it.”
I thought of this conversation the other evening when, for what seemed like the hundredth time, I saw Pfizer’s most recent TV commercial for Lyrica, a drug to treat the chronic-pain syndrome, fibromyalgia. I can tolerate Pfizer’s endless ads for Lipitor, the cholesterol-lowering drug, because the ad is doing a public service. High cholesterol is a serious health problem. But watching the kindly middle-age actress interrupt the evening news to tell me that “my fibromyalgia is real” raises serious medical issues and underscores the ruthless drive of Big Pharma.
Continue Reading CloseA judge without empathy is inhuman
The anti-Obama rallying cry that a Supreme Court justice must rule by reason alone is ignorant of how our minds and bodies work.
As we await the next Supreme Court justice appointment, Barack Obama critics are rallying around the peculiar notion that empathy should not be a factor in interpreting the law. On May 1, the president said, “I view that quality of empathy, of understanding and identifying with people’s hopes and struggles, as an essential ingredient for arriving at just decisions and outcomes.”
When hosting Bill Bennett’s “Morning in America” radio show last Friday, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele said, “I don’t need some justice up there feeling bad for my opponent because of their life circumstances or their condition and shortchanging me and my opportunity to get fair treatment under the law … I’ll give you empathy. Empathize right on your behind.”
Continue Reading ClosePBS’s latest infomercial
By airing another self-help show disguised as medical science -- the dubious "UltraMind Solution" -- the public network continues to undermine its credibility.
In May I reported that PBS stations were airing medical programs that weren’t adequately reviewed or vetted by either the local station or parent PBS corporation. My concern was that publicly funded stations were broadcasting questionable medical claims, made by Daniel Amen, M.D., about unproven methods for the prevention and treatment of Alzheimer’s disease, without properly warning viewers the information was controversial. I suggested that, at the very least, the stations should present a clearly visible banner or disclaimer that the program doesn’t represent the views of the local station or PBS. Even a self-serving commercial station like CNBC informs viewers of each talking head’s personal involvement with any stock being discussed, and infomercials are clearly labeled as “Paid Programming.”
Continue Reading CloseThe dark lesson of Bernie Madoff
The financier ripped off his lifelong friends and clients with callous precision. He should be a case study of human cruelty.
At age 90, after 30 years of retirement, Ian Thiermann is back at work for $10 an hour as a supermarket greeter, thanks to being bilked out of his life savings by broker Bernie Madoff, perpetrator of perhaps the biggest investment fraud ever by a single person. It is hard to watch a video clip of Thiermann talking about his shattered life without wincing.
And yet, as Thiermann was gamely trying to accept his diminished financial circumstances by handing out fliers for the weekly specials, Madoff, under house arrest and close scrutiny, was busy mailing $1 million worth of old watches to family and friends.
Continue Reading ClosePage 1 of 7 in Robert Burton