SALON

Boobs out of hell

Meat Loaf stacked, Dan Quayle whacked, Ricky Martin mocked -- it's just "la vida" as usual.

Topics: George W. Bush, Celebrity, Michael Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor,

It was only a matter of time. The virulent strain of mammiferous self-approbation that’s overtaken Hollywood has found a new — and willing — host in that granddaddy of man-breasts, Meat Loaf.

In a Time interview, the portly singer talks about his hooters — excuse me, his “bitch tits” (the preferred coinage of his publicist) — in the tenderest of terms.

“I have these enormous breasts,” he says, discussing the ways in which his most recent part pushed him to take personal growth to a new level. Mr. Loaf plays a man who takes female hormones to battle testicular cancer in the upcoming film “Fight Club.”

So does he love them? Will he love them forever? Did he find paradise in his own dashboard lights? “Everyone wanted to touch them,” he admits to Time’s Joel Stein. “It gives you an idea how if you’re a woman and you have these great-looking breasts, everybody wants to feel them.”

He would know.

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The Gloved One’s loved one

“She’s a warm, cuddly blanket that I love to snuggle up to and cover myself with.”

– Peter Pan wannabe Michael Jackson on Elizabeth Taylor, the woman he calls “Mother Teresa, Princess Diana, the Queen of England and Wendy” all rolled into one, in the October issue of Talk.

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Queen for a day

Ricky Martin can say what he likes about wanting to settle down and start a family, but at least one famous drag queen’s not buying slick Ricky’s straight talk.

At New York’s Wigstock last weekend, potty-mouthed Lady Bunny took the stage for her penile revision of lil’ Ricky’s big hit, “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” Her version? More like “la Pinga Loca.”

“Hint,” said the carrot-munching entertainer to the wickedly bewigged crowd. “I’m not the first queen to sing this song.”

Bunny …! You’ve got some ‘splaining to do!

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Naked she came

“The nude scene was not in the script. It was Sharon’s suggestion.”

Albert Brooks on Sharon Stone’s flashy turn in “The Muse.”

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Juicy bits

Hey, how come Marilyn always has to do the dirty work? Former veep Dan Quayle has retracted his own call for a candid confession from George W. Bush and left his trash-talking wife, who recently pronounced Dubya’s circumlocution “cute” and “sad,” hanging out to dry. “I think there ought to be a statute of limitations on this nonsense,” Quayle sniffed to the Boston Herald. “I could care less whether you inhaled or didn’t inhale back in college or whenever it was.” A (grammatically challenged) statement that’s somehow both cute and sad.

Middlebrow literary pretensions are out. Skin is in. Or so sayeth arbiter of bad taste Howard Stern. The raunchy radio host is hoping to out-endorse Oprah Winfrey with his new “Adult Movie Pick of the Month Club.” And Brian Gross, the aptly named spokesman for Vivid Videos, the porn peddlers behind Stern’s first pick, “Seven Deadly Sins,” says Stern’s support is already heating up sales. “Howard doesn’t endorse anything he doesn’t really believe in,” Gross tells Nothing Personal. “He has always enjoyed the Vivid product.”

File that under “Too much information.”

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Gripping photos: The people of the Turkey protests (slideshow)

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  • The protests take on a festive element as police forces move out of the park and square. Wearing a gas mask, this young man dances to traditional Turkish music in front of Taksim Square’s Ataturk Monument.

  • In Gezi Park since March 31st, this protester, originally caught off-guard by the Government’s teargas and water cannons, went out and bought a Russian army mask from WWII, preparing for what was to come.

  • This rambunctious boy seems to be enjoying the chaos. After taking this picture he threw a stone at the already destroyed building in the background.

  • Forming a line, the police face off directly with protesters in Taksim Square. After a while, they retreated and there was a general cheer – a back-and-forth dance that has been common since the beginning of this protest.

  • An elderly woman in Gezi Park reads the news. The tent community occupying the park was violently destroyed on June 16th.

  • Many different groups had set up booths to promote their cause in Taksim Square and Gezi Park. Standing in front of one, this man waves his flag while posing with conviction.

  • Many home-remedies are used to minimize the effects of tear gas. This woman has put a milky solution on her face, removing her mask after the tear gas dissipated. Before sunrise, the police came again for another round of teargasing.

  • People capitalize on the uprising -- selling flags, beer, gas masks, sky lanterns and spray paint to name just a few of the popular items.

  • On Monday morning, June 11, the police execute a strong offensive. Many plain-clothed police officers, like the ones seen here, clash with protesters in the side streets away from the main stand-off in Taksim.

  • The authorities seem to be most aggressive in the night, pushing protesters away from the square and park. After being teargassed this young woman catches her breath with other protesters on Siraselviler Street.

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