Religion
The sacred profaned in Santa Fe
Seeking the intellectual rigor of Catholicism, she found instead a recorded voice in the confessional booth.
I would like to cast myself in the role of a great, misunderstood artist stoned by Pharisees in the schoolyard, but in truth I was an intellectual snob from the time I was 11. My prematurely developing body convinced me I was as repulsive as the Elephant Man, so I spent my free time wandering the playground writing stories in my head, or barricaded behind my books. Over the years an army of counselors trooped into a collective psychiatrist’s office that I seemed to spend years in, telling me that, socially and academically, it would all be better once I went off to college. College, rather than religion, became my opiate. No matter how unbearable my life seemed, one day I would be swept away into an Eden of academic delights.
From the time I was about 8, my father had told me bardic tales of his spiritual awakening at the College of Santa Fe in the deserts of New Mexico. His transcendental images became so seared in my mind that I vowed to follow in his footsteps.
When it was time to choose a college, I looked at other schools, but Santa Fe was always in the back of my mind. When I discovered it had one of the few full-fledged undergraduate creative-writing programs in the country, it became my first choice. I applied and was accepted.
I visited the two small, private, mid-Atlantic colleges that had also accepted me. They were nice, but seemed very typical. I wanted something new, something I’d never known. I had a deep feeling that if I went to Santa Fe I would either hate it and come home, or soar into a better life. After visiting it and learning about its commitment to the traditional disciplines, its emphasis on theater and film, and its Catholic Christian Brothers tradition, I was convinced that there I would meet other artistic oddballs like me.
But almost as soon as I arrived, I began to worry that this faraway college, the place where I could indulge in both the life of the mind and the spirit, would not live up to my expectations. In my first night in the dorm, I sobbed in the thin desert air, and woke the next morning trembling with anticipation and optimism. I was here, where I had dreamed of coming for so long. In fear, I rose to confront my dream.
I walked to my classes hoping to find teachers who were not career academics, but brothers for whom teaching was their mission to God. Instead, only one of my classes — religion studies — is led by a Catholic brother. He is a wonderful teacher; although a devout Catholic, he does not give any religion priority in his lectures. He has a true vocation in teaching. Although all my teachers teach well and are dedicated, none has the utter devotion to teaching that he does. I soon learned that of the 14 brothers on campus, only four teach full-time. There have been no new brothers in years, and the school is rapidly losing its Catholic flavor.
Although I am non-practicing, I am a cultural Catholic. My senses were formed on the glow of stained glass and the scent of incense. As an adolescent, I rebelled against the Catholic hell and proclaimed that no loving God would eternally damn his beloveds. But at about 16, I realized that I had been shortsighted. Whether or not Jesus is God, Catholicism tells much more truth about life than the generic pop culture that was my only other source of enlightenment. After a rigorous Catholic elementary education, I was shocked at how the brightest students in my public high school were ignorant of the most fundamental grammatical rules. Thus, I gained great respect for Catholicism’s strong educational traditions.
Most of the students I have met are not like me. Maybe they came to Santa Fe for culture, the sun or the arts programs, but they did not come for the Christian Brothers tradition. Many of them have little interest in the liberal arts, and view them as a detriment to their arts majors. Too many of them are pop-culture inbreds regurgitating MTV politics. And most of the students I’ve encountered have an arrogant disrespect for religion in general. One student recently proudly recounted how he harassed members of a congregation that rents space on campus. He approached them and asked them about the validity of Christianity and religion in general. As he spoke, a smug tone colored his voice as he laughed at all those dummies who believe in Jesus.
Santa Fe was once a haven for Spanish Catholicism. It boasts what is thought to be the oldest shrine in the U.S. dedicated to the Virgin of Guadalupe. The mountains surrounding the city are called “Sangre Cristo,” Blood of Christ. “Santa Fe” itself means holy faith. But the City of Holy Faith now vibrates on different wavelengths, and even its Catholic legacy seems to be getting a face lift.
On a tour of the city with my freshman seminar, I went to the Loretto Chapel. It houses one of Santa Fe’s greatest treasures, a miraculous staircase. The staircase defies all laws of engineering. It has neither nails nor any other visible means of support. And it was built by a mysterious traveler who arrived after the sisters had prayed for a staircase and disappeared shortly after its completion. According to legend, the enigmatic carpenter was really St. Joseph, patron saint of carpentry.
I bristled in mild distaste at paying to enter a church, tourist attraction though it may be. But the beauty of the chapel heightened my despair. The staircase was stunning. It twisted, like a corkscrew curl, and had a smooth underside, unmarred by any support mechanism. Looking at the pictures of Mary and angels, I realized I’d forgotten how touching it was to be in a church. I went into the confessional booth for a brief moment of solitude, and discovered a speaker system that periodically emitted the chapel’s history in the monotone that all instructive recordings have. I forced a small, unsatisfying tear down my face and left.
Bored, I wandered into the gift shop. Surrounding me were T-shirts, shot glasses and silver spoons with “Loretto Chapel” emblazoned on them. I examined the overpriced, laminated Guadalupe cards, a staple of any religious store, and the generic statues of Jesus and the saints. A sweet, bland Madonna stared down at me, her arms opened in a cloying embrace. Then our teaching assistant came into the shop and told me we were ready to leave. I sulked, wanting neither to stay nor leave.
That night, I lay in bed as my roommate watched David Letterman. Watching Dave’s nasty, adolescent humor in my misery was so ironic it made me laugh. Then tears came. They stayed stubbornly in my eyes, so I forced them out. A strange contentment came over me, not because I was happy, but because I had always felt this way.
Lillie Wade is a 19-year-old freshman at the College of Santa Fe. This is her first piece for Salon. More Lillie Wade.
Atheism’s new clout
Non-believers are becoming increasingly successful fundraisers -- and cultural forces to be reckoned with
A billboard erected by atheists in Oklahoma City. (Credit: AP/Sue Ogrocki) Why would any organization or social change movement want to ally itself with a community that’s energetic, excited about activism, highly motivated, increasingly visible, good at fundraising, good at getting into the news, increasingly populated by young people, and with a proven track record of mobilizing online in massive numbers on a moment’s notice?
If you need to ask that — maybe you shouldn’t be in political activism.
And if you don’t need to ask that — if reading that paragraph is making you clutch your chest and drool like a baby — maybe you should be paying attention to the atheist movement.
Religious belief: How it helps conservatives
Christianity provides the right wing with stability, self-confidence and ambition. What can liberals learn from it?
(Credit: Antonov Roman via Shutterstock) Progressives often marvel at how focused, coordinated and aggressive our conservative opposition is. They seem to fall into lockstep and march, building large organizations and executing complex strategies with an astonishing rate of success. We may be smarter, better educated and more reality-based — but they seem to have a cohesion and a discipline that eludes us. What’s going on here?
There are a lot of answers to that question. But I’d suggest that some intriguing answers might come from a close study of conservative religious paradigms, which play an essential role in giving conservatives a unique kind of emotional and social durability.
Sara Robinson is a trained social futurist and the editor of AlterNet's Vision page. More Sara Robinson.
Obama’s faith-based failure
A troubling hallmark of "compassionate conservatism" -- the faith-based initiative -- persists despite promises
(Credit: Reuters/Kevin Lamarque) “Compassionate conservatism” may seem a relic of the Bush era, but one of its signatures — the so-called faith-based initiatives — quietly persist under President Obama.
The Obama administration’s Friday night news dump of recommendations for reforming faith-based initiatives was yet another frustrating disappointment in the sad history of the president’s faith-based effort. More than a year late, the recommendations were reportedly delayed because the administration wanted to avoid further inflaming the fevered imaginations of those who claim he’s waging a “war on religion.” Insurance coverage for contraception and guaranteeing constitutional rights for Americans who receive taxpayer-funded social services from faith-based organizations are apparently two great tastes that don’t taste great together.
Continue Reading CloseSarah Posner is the senior editor of Religion Dispatches, where she writes about politics. She is also the author of God's Profits: Faith, Fraud, and the Republican Crusade for Values Voters" (PoliPoint Press, 2008). More Sarah Posner.
Joel Osteen worships himself
At a D.C. rally, it's clear that the megachurch pastor's childlike faith is really about the power of narcissism
Joel Osteen If history is told by the winners, then Joel Osteen — the relentlessly upbeat spiritual caretaker of the national attitude — is history’s designated chaplain. In a marathon Sunday faith rally in the heart of the nation’s capital, Osteen, who presides over America’s largest megachurch congregation, the nondenominational Lakewood Church in Houston, exhorted the tens of thousands of believers amassed in Nationals Stadium to “live in victory,” to seize their “destiny moments,” and to fulfill God’s plan for their personal, financial and emotional success.
Continue Reading CloseA holy war over gay marriage
In North Carolina, two churches face off over an upcoming vote on whether to constitutionally ban same sex marriage
(Credit: mehmet alci via Shutterstock) When North Carolina voters head to the polls on May 8, they will be asked to decide on a constitutional amendment – known as “Amendment One” – that prohibits marriages between same-sex couples. Same-sex marriage is already illegal by statute, but N.C. is the only state left in the Southeast without a constitutional ban.
So this is quite a showdown. There’s much talk of liberty, lifestyle and family — and a whole lot of talk about God. As opponents and supporters target churches all the way from Appalachia to the Outer Banks, religious leaders are flooding the airwaves to share their views on a hot button issue that throws core values into stark relief.
Lynn Parramore is an AlterNet contributing editor. She is co-founder of Recessionwire, founding editor of New Deal 2.0, and author of "Reading the Sphinx: Ancient Egypt in Nineteenth-Century Literary Culture." Follow her on Twitter @LynnParramore. More Lynn Parramore.
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