Hank Hyena
Swallowing pig sperm: A miracle cure?
A group of Canadian geneticists believes that pig semen may be the best building block for human growth hormones.
Oct. 26, 1999
Will semen spurting out of a hog’s penis provide the next
wonder drug for humanity?
Lusty sows might regard swine spunk as sexy, and Nebraska
pig-ranchers accept it as a procreating necessity, but ordinary humans
undoubtedly view oinker jism as a repulsive fluid they’d rather not think
about.
Pig sperm doesn’t bore Canadian researchers, however. Frances Pothier
and his Department of Animal Sciences colleagues at Quebec’s Laval
University are presently attempting to transform hog wads into an array of
growth hormone (GH) pharmaceutical products, notes the November issue of
Nature Biotechnology.
“We will introduce a new human gene into the pig embryo at the one-cell stage, with micro-manipulation,” Pothier explained to Salon Urge in a phone interview.
“We can introduce any genes that we want: genes that combat hemophilia,
genetic lung disease and cystic fibrosis, for example. We can also
introduce genes that act as ‘red blood cell boosters’ — this product will
help patients recover from chemotherapy.”
Geneticists are already producing pharmaceutical proteins in the
mammary glands of goats, sheep and cows, but Pothier believes pig
testicles provide a cheaper, faster medical factory. “The gestation period of the
pig is only three months, three weeks and three days,” he said.
“And in six months, the pig starts ejaculating. In one year [with a pig]
you will have the product; with a cow you have to wait two and a half
years.”
Hogs, moreover, are prolific splashers: they expel about a cup of sperm
with each ejaculation. Harvesting piggy ooze is also simple.
“Pigs can be trained to mount a special bench every day, and ejaculate
inside it,” said Pothier. “The process takes only 10 to 20 minutes.”
Future patients who fear they might receive prescriptions that
require them to swallow spoonfuls of hog semen daily need not worry. The
boar-juice, Pothier assures us, “will be purified in very complex procedures.”
Carnal goo
New products now being tested promise to alleviate female sexual dysfunction.
Imagine a gel that women layer on their pudenda that magically swells the area with lustful desire. Blood engorges the labia, the clitoris stiffens excitedly and lubrication (the historic task of foreplay) is swiftly unleashed by the moistening cream. A tiny dollop rubbed in softly and — shazam! — the female tingles, itching with passion.
Such a thing exists. Many over-the-counter sex creams that speed up women’s “libida” are already available, and two biopharmaceutical companies are aching to get their new love lotions approved by the Food and Drug Administration. Their medical and financial ambition is to garner the products massive Viagra-esque popularity with women.
Continue Reading CloseSexy penises
The circumcision decision could affect a baby's future sex life.
“He’ll never get a blow job!” pregnant Abigail fretted, “if we don’t circumcise him.”
“Fellatio,” her husband Kent conceded, “is man’s best friend. But why won’t my son get sucked if he’s whole?”
The Berkeley, Calif., baby shower had disintegrated into yet another debate about circumcision. Every well-wisher on the festive patio knew that neo-natal Zachary already owned 15 stuffed animals, nine Dr. Seuss books and enough green overalls to costume an elf army, but the parents — like so many others — hadn’t determined yet if the tot would be sporting a foreskin.
Continue Reading CloseThe quest for sweet semen
I learned how to transform funky spunk into delicious joy juice -- but ultimately decided not to.
“You’ve got funky-tasting spunk,” Samantha tells her bitter paramour on the Aug. 6 “Sex and the City” episode, as she refuses to fellate his foully spurting member. “Giving head [to you] is like a trip to the rotten-egg buffet.”
I winced watching this, because I am consumed with greedy but guilty desire when it comes to the issue of squirting inside the mouth and swallowing. I adore oral acceptance of my penile offering, but I’m cravenly apologetic asking for it, because I’m sure the texture and flavor are repulsive on my lover’s palate. Fear of Samanthas also inhibits me: My crotch loves a tongue-lashing but my ego doesn’t.
Continue Reading ClosePenis gourds: The rebel uniform
Indonesia's government sees the garb worn by Dani tribesmen as backward and an act of defiance.
Indonesia is a polyglot nation of 13,000 islands, 300 ethnic groups and 365 languages that has always been ruled by the heavy-handed, populous Javanese. East Timor’s recent wrenching escape from the iron grip of
Jakarta is only the most visible boil in this archipelago that festers with religious, economic and cultural strife. The next bloodbath could break out in the province of Irian Jaya, the western half of New Guinea, where recent settlers have zero in common with the Stone Age indigenous inhabitants.
Is there a connection between AIDS and circumcision?
Researchers claim decade-old evidence has been ignored.
Male circumcision could help diminish the HIV/AIDS pandemic in developing countries, but health professionals are reluctant to publicize this fact, according to an editorial in the Lancet by Daniel Halperin and Robert Bailey. The authors cite a study, published a decade ago, of 422 Kenyan men who habitually visited prostitutes. The research showed that the uncircumcised men had an 8.2 times greater risk of infection. Of 38 additional investigations, 27 from eight different countries found a similar association between uncut men and infection.
Continue Reading ClosePage 1 of 15 in Hank Hyena