Thanksgiving
Hollyween meltdown
The party is costume-mandatory: John Cusack comes as a werewolf, James Woods comes and leaves, Neve Campbell comes as herself -- no one gets it.
Topics: Halloween, South Park, Thanksgiving
Dear Button,
Before regaling you with promised Halloween bash dish, I must first tell you who I met last night. That’s right, John from “CHiPs”! There I was, minding my own business during a little celebratory soirie at Taverna Tony in Malibu, when who should appear but Larry Wilcox himself?
He was bedecked in an expensive-looking Italian number and running around singing the praises of his latest acquisition: a keypad/
So, you wanna hear about Halloween?
I arrived early to beat the rush and help tie up any loose ends. I was promptly informed there were no loose ends, so I stood outside and early greeted some other pre-punctual friends. My car was parked by the entrance in anticipation of the valets, but my buddy Jason and his posse (including, it turns out, the hot, pierced, tattooed girl) told me there was parking close by. So I uncharacteristically decided to park myself. (This story is actually going someplace.) I asked my buddy Ward to take the half-block ride with me. We slid into my car and were about to slide out when a paramedic truck cut us off. Now, because I live in L.A., my immediate mental response was, “Thanks for cutting me off, asshole!” Then it sunk in that paramedics help injured people, pick up the dead, etc.
It turns out that our fearless co-leader Amy Cohen (party patron, namesake and originator, off whom we suckle party energy like babies and around whom we revolve like spokes in the great party wheel), had fallen victim to gravity. Half an hour before the shindig began, she took a spill from high atop her roller skates and broke her ankle in three places.
With Amy in the hospital, the lovely Jennifer was running the show on her own. Now, I have personally witnessed Jennifer simultaneously reshuffle Matt and Trey’s schedules, deal with press, arrange interviews, make appointments, order beefy lunches and make reservations for a huge dinner all while Matt yelled, “I hate you!” at her and Trey put things from her purse in his ass. This woman can handle pressure. But the Halloween party did present some unique problems.
Put yourself in her place, if you will. It’s 9 p.m. on Saturday night and a thousand people are driving to your party. Your partner has just been whisked away screaming to the hospital and the valets have not arrived. You don’t have the valet company’s name or number because that was one of your partner’s jobs. What do you do? If you are anyone else, you lock yourself in the bathroom and cry. If you are Jennifer, you kick your way into the storeroom, rifle around for the number and get on the horn.
Then you find out the valets are scheduled for the next night. One thousand friggin’ people driving straight at you right now, and not one valet in the city is even thinking he should be anywhere near your party. What do you do? OK, nowyou go to the bathroom and start bawling like a child. That’s what I would do.
Jennifer, however, is a different entity. She gets on the phone and gives the valets hell and tells them to get people down there right away or else. And they do. And no one even knows who fucked up in the first place. Problem solved.
Then Neve Campbell shows up without a costume. It was a costume-mandatory affair, and Neve comes as a rule-breaker. (Hey, Neve, get over yourself. I don’t care that you came with John Cusack, that’s the whole point of the night. John, at least, came as a werewolf.) I also saw James Woods early on, but I think he was leaving. No matter, because Neil Peart was there, dressed as Mandy. Big black motorcycle leathers, enormous blond wig and makeup. The greatest living rock drummer now a hulking transvestite. The guys from Rush are fans of the show (as we are of them). They sang “O Canada” for the “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut” soundtrack.
So, things are finally silky smooth again and I’m making out with lots of different people and our friend Keef is spinning really well and everyone is in the same space mentally and the groove is hitting — when suddenly the fire marshal shows up and says we’ve got too many people.
Too many people means that everyone who went out for air or to smoke or to use the outside bar or the outside bathroom or just to look for a friend is stuck outside. And they’re lucky, because outside the outside party area is a line of people down the block who haven’t even gotten into the outside party area. Well, this just won’t do. But what does one do in the face of Mr. Marshal? (I, of course, would still be in the bathroom crying.) Jennifer, however, takes him aside and within a few minutes everyone is freely moving in and out, and the line down the block is gone. The woman is grace under pressure personified.
Perry Farrell was also in attendance, and strangely, he looked a little dressed down for Halloween. Last I saw him — backstage at the KROQ Acoustic Christmas Concert — he had Christmas lights strung through his hair. So I guess he’ll always seem dressed down to me from now on.
Which reminds me, after that Christmas concert, Trey mentioned overhearing Perry doing press (we hadn’t met him at this point) and said he was spouting all this bizarre, whacked-
Now fast forward to “Chef Aid: The South Park Album.” Frank and Perry have become better friends and Perry agrees to do a song for the record. Trey’s driving over and can’t help wondering what the hell is going to happen. He’s the boss, and Perry is definitely an X factor. Sure, Perry’s spent gobs of time in the studio, but what if he’s all prima donna? What if he goes nuts? What if he doesn’t show? What if … what if … what if? Perry is a rock and roller.
So Trey gets there and starts singing vocals so that Perry can hear how the song goes. He does this two, maybe three, times. Perry doesn’t even seem to be paying close attention. But then Perry gets in the booth and begins dancing and singing and swirling about until everyone is infected with his energy and the whole studio comes alive, and he nails the vocals on the first take. He was prepared, professional and inspiring. Just blew everybody away.
And speaking of albums, South Park is putting out “The Mr. Hankey Christmas Album” sometime around Thanksgiving, and there is one song I think you’ll particularly enjoy. It’s called “The Most Offensive Story Ever Told.” I’ll send you up a copy.
And now back to Halloween. Well, no one else so exciting was there. My friend Celeste was in town, and she’s quite exciting, but she’s never strung Christmas lights through her hair. Not that I’ve seen, anyway. All in all, it was a good, safe, loving time. Every cloud has its orange and black lining, as it were. The indomitable Amy even wound up holding court in the Moroccan room by about 1 a.m., fresh from the emergency room with a soft cast and a surgery appointment.
I think everyone will be back next year.
Love,
David
P.S. I’ve got some sad news from the world of “South Park.” Mary Kay Bergman, who did all the female voices in the show and the movie, passed away last Friday. She will be sorely missed.
David Goodman, like Steven Spielberg before him, grew up in Haddonfield, N.J. He writes for "South Park" and is the editor of bluelawn.com. More David Goodman.
How turkey came to our Thanksgiving table
Once shunned by my Muslim family, the bird finally found a place in our home, just like so many American traditions
Topics: Islam, Life stories, Real Families, Thanksgiving
(Credit: SunnyS via Shutterstock) My Pakistani and American Muslim social circles celebrate Thanksgiving each year alongside our Eid festivities and Super Bowl Sunday parties, featuring homemade guacamole dip, chips and samosas. But it wasn’t always like this. For my family, this marriage between East and West was three decades in the making.
The 1980s: An “Amreekan Holiday”
As a child, I often asked my mother what we were eating for Thanksgiving.
“Food,” she replied matter-of-factly.
“Are we eating a turkey?” I asked.
Continue Reading CloseWajahat Ali is a playwright, attorney, journalist and essayist. His award winning play"The Domestic Crusaders," was published by McSweeney's in 2011. He is the lead author of "Fear Inc., Roots of the Islamophobia Network in America." He is currently writing a pilot for HBO. He is co-editing the anthology "All American: 45 American Men on Being Muslim" published in June 2012. More Wajahat Ali.
My drunken Thanksgiving
I made two mistakes on the day I met my future in-laws: Trying to shed my shy exterior and, then, the casserole
Topics: Life stories, Real Families, Thanksgiving
(Credit: Tatiana Morozova via Shutterstock) The first time I met my boyfriend Eric’s family my sweet potato casserole went on fire. It was Thanksgiving 2003. Eric, whom I felt funny calling my boyfriend, since we were 36 and 40 at the time with five children between us, had invited me to his sister Julie’s house for the holiday. Since neither of us had our kids for Thanksgiving that year, Eric and I would get to be grown-ups, not parents. No strollers. No strained peas.
Eric drove up to Julie’s the night before Thanksgiving to cook. An obsessed chef, Eric had spent a week planning the menu with his siblings. “I’m making my sweet potato casserole,” I said to Eric as he made a grocery list, “with mini marshmallows on top.” I sensed disappointment, a Campbell’s Soup casserole stuck out among toasted almond haricot vert and saffron-infused stuffed turkey, a recipe that involved coriander, cumin, cranberries and couscous. My mother roasted a turkey every year and we were lucky if she remembered to take the giblets out. “You don’t have to make anything,” Eric said. But alas, I insisted.
Continue Reading CloseThanks to you!
The people we're most grateful to have around this year
Topics: Arab Spring, Education, Egyptian Protests, Elizabeth Warren, James O'Keefe, News Corporation, Occupy Wall Street, Thanksgiving
Clockwise from upper left: Elizabeth Warren, Wael Ghonim, Diane Ravitch and Ray Lewis Admittedly, I spend a lot of time grousing and naysaying. Today, though, we put that negativity briefly aside, as we celebrate a day of thoughtful reflection, and a night without a GOP presidential debate. I thought it appropriate, on the occasion of Thanksgiving, to thank some of the people who’ve worked to make the country and the world a better place over the least 12 months.
Thanks to Wall Street Occupier Jesse LaGreca, who didn’t only show up the Fox reporter sent to embarrass occupiers, but also managed to get the OWS message across on a Sunday political chat show, which is essentially unheard of. So thanks to you, for bringing up economic justice to the ancient panel of crusty establishmentarians on “Meet on Press.”
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Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene More Alex Pareene.
The birth of America’s bastardized cuisine
Since that mythic first Thanksgiving, we've relied on native plants to augment dishes from the old country
Topics: Eatymology, Food, Thanksgiving
Jean Leon Gerome Ferris' "The First Thanksgiving 1621" (Credit: Library of Congress) America is a country originally settled by scoundrels and religious zealots — thieves, embezzlers, prostitutes, arsonists; English Puritans, French Huguenots, German Amish, Czech Moravians and Russian Mennonites. The screwed-over Scotch-Irish, the shanghaied London street punk, the peace-loving, slave-owning Quaker, the enslaved Gullah. It is also the native land of the Ojibwa, the Zuni, the Makah, the Miwok and the Seneca. This alchemy of sinner and saint, “savage” and sophisticate is the source of our original cuisine: a stolen, borrowed, distorted culinaria that can pique the tongue, clog the arteries, fire the belly, or mellow the soul.
Continue Reading CloseFelisa Rogers studied history and nonfiction writing at the Evergreen State College and went on to teach writing to kids for five years. She lives in Oregon’s coast range, where she works as a freelance writer and editor. More Felisa Rogers.
How to give back this Thanksgiving
Between turkey, football and Black Friday planning, take a moment and help someone who needs it
Topics: American Spring, Charity, Thanksgiving
A 3-year old girl holds her mother's hand as they carry bags with food from the North Fulton Community Charities food bank in Alpharetta, Ga., in this picture taken June 4, 2008.(Credit: Reuters/Tami Chappell) The annual celebration of Thanksgiving — looking beyond its function as a filler of stomachs and provider of marquee football matchups — is perhaps America’s clearest exercise in mixed signals.
On one hand, the act of gathering around a dinner table with loved ones, taking stock of our lives and giving thanks, isn’t just one of our nation’s most staid traditions; it’s also a fundamentally humble act that harks back to the collectivist underpinnings of America’s founding myth. Consistent with that ethos, giving has become the order of the day; and each November, millions of Americans do.
Continue Reading ClosePage 1 of 11 in Thanksgiving