Drugs
Exclusive: Fonda's CNN/God/government anti-drug deal
Salon's six-month-long investigation into the religious conversion of Jane Fonda reveals it to be part of a CNN/government advertising swap.
Speculation in Hollywood and media circles mounted today that Jane Fonda’s
miraculous and unexpected conversion to Christianity was part of a
multi-trillion-dollar ad buy engineered by her estranged husband, CNN
founder and Time Warner honcho Ted Turner.
Turner recently sold $200
trillion in heavily discounted “Christian-message” advertising space to a
coalition of religious groups. With ad rates soaring thanks to an influx of
Satanic cult dot-com money, the deal has ended up being a major money-loser
for Turner, and industry insiders says he has been searching for a way to
get out.
“Ted was very interested when he learned about the White House paying off
the networks to put in anti-drug messages, and this idea balloon kind of
went up,” said a very high source at CNN. “He figured, if some clown smoking
a joint and goin’ psychotic on ‘Chicago Hope’ is worth $5 million, how much
is ol’ ‘Bubble-Tits’ converting to Christianity worth? Gotta be $50, $60 mil.”
An even higher source at CNN confirmed that at the same time Fonda announced
her conversion, the number of Christian-themed ads on the station dropped
dramatically and the number “666″ began appearing again and again on the
screen.
Turner learned about Hollywood’s subliminal “Just Say No” deal with the White
House from AOL, vaguely identified sources said. In fact, his reluctance to
sign off on a similar AOL business proposition may have led to this week’s
blockbuster merger of Time Warner and AOL.
“The top AOL brass came to Time Warner last week and offered them $100
million to insert ANOTHER set of secret messages into the anti-drug ads they
were running,” a source close to this reporter said. “Every time that cool
teenage heroin-addict chick in the tank top smashed that egg with a frying
pan, they wanted the words ‘AOL’ to appear in the yolk.”
Turner reportedly balked at the deal, saying, “That isn’t even close to being
as exciting as the second time I had sex, 37 years, three months and 26 days
ago.” AOL officials argued vociferously that two sets of concealed messages
were no worse than one, but Turner remained adamant. Finally, AOL officials
reportedly said, “Who needs this grief — let’s just buy him and his
miserable little company.”
Later, Turner apparently came around and became enthusiastic about the
concealed-message concept, sources say. The Fonda deal was cut soon after
that.
Turner was traveling across the Bering Strait and was not immediately
available on his amphibious-car phone. But an anonymous source says he was
heard to yell, “This is the most excited I’ve been since the third time I
had sex.” Fonda was unavailable for comment.
Gary Kamiya is a Salon contributing writer. More Gary Kamiya.
Pick of the week: An early-’60s hipster time capsule
Pick of the week: Shirley Clarke's once-banned "The Connection" is a lean, mean saga of jazz, junk and rebellion
A time capsule loaded with smack from the bohemian underbelly of JFK-era America, Shirley Clarke’s 1961 film “The Connection” is an illustration of how much things change, and how much they stay the same. I’d be stretching to call “The Connection” a great film — it’s mannered and edgy, in a way that’s partly deliberate but also distinctive to its period — but it’s an important one in cultural and historic terms, despite being largely unknown. Watching this ensemble drama about a multiracial group of New York jazz musicians and beat philosophers in a run-down apartment, waiting for their drug dealer to show up, is like traveling back 50 years in time, only to encounter the same people you might meet on the street today (at least, in certain neighborhoods of Brooklyn, San Francisco, Austin and so on). At one point, the characters even debate the illusory distinctions between “hipsters” and “squares.”
Continue Reading CloseDrug-personality misconceptions
Alcoholic writers? Coke-head stockbrokers? The links between personality type and addiction are largely overblown
Ernest Hemingway (Credit: John F. Kennedy Presidential Library & Museum) Here’s Ernest Hemingway, dead drunk on a stool in Cuba with his face on his hand and his hand on an ever-present mojito. He’s the tormented writer, hard at work at the daily scrubbing of his sins. Like the Hard-Drinking Writer, we’ve come to expect certain personality types to have certain habits: The Morose Musician with Keith Richards’ appetite for heroin; the Insecure Starlet with Marilyn’s taste for pills; the Monomaniacal Money Manager with a nose for cocaine. They are generalizations that have been imprinted by generations of popular culture. But the types don’t necessarily line up.
Continue Reading CloseFormer neuroscientist Jacqueline Detwiler edits a travel magazine by day, but moonlights as a science writer. Her work has appeared in Wired, Men's Health, Fitness and Forbes. More Jacqueline Detwiler.
My suburban pot secret
I thought starting my own medical marijuana operation would be easy and safe. Then the DEA crackdown started VIDEO
(Credit: Yellowj via Shutterstock) It was sometime around 2 a.m. when I heard the car doors slam. I live on a very quiet street in Fort Collins, Colo., surrounded by working families who are usually falling asleep under the blue glow of their TVs by 10 p.m., and any noise in the night usually means that something is about to happen. And on that night I was certain it was about to happen to me.
Six marijuana plants were growing in my basement and because of shortsighted planning on my part, their odor had gotten completely out of control. Having never grown pot before, I foolishly overlooked the prominent admonitions printed in every growing guide I relied upon to help me with my harvest, that odor control was of the utmost importance. But equipment designed to mask the smell (ozone generators, activated carbon filters) is expensive. How much stench could six little plants really produce? I remember thinking. Well, a lot.
Continue Reading CloseGreg Campbell's new book is called "Pot, Inc.: Inside Medical Marijuana, America's Most Outlaw Industry." He is the author of "Flawless: Inside the Largest Diamond Heist in History," "Blood Diamonds: Tracing the Deadly Path of the World's Most Precious Stones" (the source material for the Leonardo DiCaprio movie of the same name) and "The Road to Kosovo: A Balkan Diary." Campbell is also an award-winning journalist whose his writing has appeared in The Wall Street Journal Magazine, The Economist, The San Francisco Times, Paris Match, and The Christian Science Monitor, among others. He lives in Fort Collins, CO. More Greg Campbell.
America’s pill-popping capital
Welcome to Kermit, W.Va. -- ground zero of the prescription drug epidemic
(Credit: iStockphoto/Salon) KERMIT, W.Va. — It takes less than a minute to drive past Kermit, five to tour the place entirely. An old coal mining town with barely 300 residents and one blinking light between the train tracks, Kermit has no supermarket, no clothing store, no main drag. Main Street is really a side street with rows of cottages, its biggest building, the Kermit community center, empty and boarded.
Yet in this tiny town, the Kermit Sav-Rite Pharmacy used to be as busy as a New York deli. Six employees worked the counter, lines at the drive-through window snaked around the square cinder-block building, and the parking lot was full day and night.
Continue Reading CloseEvelyn Nieves, former staff writer and columnist for the New York Times, is working on a book. More Evelyn Nieves.
Recovery’s new poster boy
Bill Clegg's first addiction memoir shocked readers. We talk to him about his follow-up -- and his newfound fame
Bill Clegg (Credit: Brigitte Lacombe/Little, Brown & Co.) Two years ago, Bill Clegg’s first memoir dropped like a bombshell on the New York media world. “Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man” chronicled the handsome and hugely successful book agent’s descent into a harrowing crack addiction that cost him his career, his boyfriend and his savings — and left him broke and in rehab. In one harrowing part of the book (excerpted in New York magazine) Clegg decides to blow off a first-class flight to Berlin after a week without sleep for a crack binge and sex with the cabbie driving him to his airport hotel. Staring at his pile of drugs, he wrote, “I wonder if somewhere in that pile is the crumb that will bring on a heart attack or stroke or seizure. The cardiac event that will deliver all this to an abrupt and welcome halt.”
Continue Reading Close
Thomas Rogers is Salon's Arts Editor. More Thomas Rogers.
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