Astrology

Evan: April 4, 1973, 4 p.m. Aries Water Ox, hour of Monkey.
Lily: Jan. 4, 1973, Capricorn Water Rat, hour unknown.
Ruby: July 2, 1995, 11 a.m., Cancer Wood Pig, hour of Horse (Snake cusp).
Saskia: Feb. 21, 1998, 1 a.m. Pisces (Aq cusp) Earth Tiger, hour of Ox (Rat cusp).

According to Chinese lore, the Ox, which you might think of as an unflashy kind of creature, managed to win second place in the Chinese year ranking, because he had such a good nature; he knew how important it was to be helpful to others. As the story goes, all the animals were summoned to Buddha to say goodbye as he prepared to lift off from Earth. The 12 animals that showed up to pay their respects earned a place on the astrological calendar according to the order in which they turned up. The Rat, who had been cleverest about rounding everyone up, made sure to be first by catching a ride in on the back of the dutiful, compliant Ox. The powerful, beautiful Tiger knew from respect; he was right behind them. Headstrong Horse only placed seventh, despite his speed, because he resented being told where to go. And the naughty Pig came in last, but did at least show up, which was worth something!

The Ox and the Rat have had a complex relationship ever since then; better as lovers though than as co-workers, because every now and then, an Ox in an office begins to wonder if his Rat colleague might be taking advantage of him in some way. But in a romantic relationship, they get along famously. The Ox is enchanted by the Rat’s sparkle, while the socially astute, family-building Rat enormously respects the Ox’s trustworthiness and perseverance. The Ox and Rat combination is a wonderful way to head a household. Evan has a really lucky combination; Ox grounds him, while his Monkey birth hour gives him poise, humor and shrewd business sense, and makes him more adaptable than some Oxen. (His Water year sign gives him another boost in adaptability.) Meanwhile, his Aries birth month gives him creativity, ambition and strong family sense. Aries natives thrive when they feel indispensable to a close network of relatives. I think that, in Evan’s case, Aries moodiness will be lightened by the Monkey wit and the Ox’s innate “let’s just get on with it” mentality.

Lily also has a well-balanced meld; her subtle, social, adept, quick-thinking, acquisitive Rat character is wedded to the pragmatic, thoughtful, Capricorn month; which means she is a woman who makes decisions for long-term, and never makes them lightly. She will not be flighty, she knows how to ride out difficulties, and Water Rat is especially gifted at sensing other people’s emotions, so she’ll be a great smoother-over of any difficulties.

Now, the girls! Evan gave their birth times as on the hour — 11 a.m. and 1 a.m. But he should check their birth certificates, and make sure that isn’t over-general, because those are both cusp times; 10:59 a.m. is the hour of the Snake, 11:01 a.m. is the hour of the Horse; whereas 12:59 a.m. is the hour of the Rat, and 1:01 a.m. is the hour of the Ox.

Assuming Ruby is in fact a Cancer Wood Pig, born in the hour of the Horse, she will be loyal to her family and eager to please. Pig is strongly compatible in the parent-child relation with both Rat and Ox. Ruby’s Cancer month makes her potentially quite sensitive and emotional, and the Cancer-Pig meld can produce greediness for pleasure and possessions, and problems with self-discipline. Still, I believe the fortunate Wood year birth reins in the Pig propensity to excess here, — besides granting her the gift of good judgment and unusual tact — so I think Ruby will be just fine. You might try to gently guide her to establish sensible limits for herself early on, just in case. Pigs are usually very popular and make friends easily, and Wood Pigs are especially generous and lovable. Ruby’s Cancer sun sign means she will be good at very many things, but will have a hard time figuring out what she cares most about, or wants to do with her life, in school and later work. On the whole, she’ll be a sunny child, quietly sociable, well-meaning and hardworking. Any bursts of excitability will probably come from her restless Horse-hour birth.

It’s funny that, as you sense, Saskia really is more of a wild card, at least as far as her moon sign is concerned. Tigers get along a wee bit better with Rats than with Oxen, but the relationship still takes work and communication. The most important thing for you and Lily to keep in mind is that Tiger does not respond well to criticism. They are so noble and charming that if they sense they are failing to please, they can’t believe it — it feels to them like a great injustice. So try to hold your tongues unless something really matters. However, if Saskia was born in the hour of the Ox, you lucked out; she will approve of you and respect you on a basic, unshakable level. Also, being an Ox-hour Tiger, she’ll probably feel free to tell you if she’s mad (Pisces may mute this effect; try to be observant), so any grievances are likely to get aired, rather than fester.

As a Tiger, Saskia might be more flamboyant and attention-seeking than the three of you; if so, try not to think that different is wrong. Still, as an Earth Tiger, the calmest and most realistic of the Tiger years, she should be fairly well-attuned to the rest of the family, and her Pisces sun sign will also help make her get along well with you and Lily — Ox and Rat. Pisces girls are the most inscrutable sign in the calendar; calm, feminine, perfectionist and socially astute, they try to blend in to their surroundings. While projecting feminine gentleness, and seeming to defer to their superiors and elders, they manage to subtly lay down rules for behavior that people in their families and peer groups can’t resist following.

More good news: Saskia and Ruby should get along very well; Pigs and Tigers quarrel a lot, but they have strong bonds and great affinity for each other, and will make each other laugh.

So relax — it looks like there won’t be strife in the Ark, or rather, none sent by the stars!

And yet, she wavers, “We never quite jumped in with both feet, and though we’re compatible in many, many respects, I’m still a little bit of a wild child with self-destructive tendencies, and Jasmine plays grown-up too much and sinks into bouts of passive-aggressiveness.” They both want to date others, but don’t want the affair to end — a proposition known as having your cake and eating it, too. “Should we gently put our relationship in the over-and-done-with stack,” Amanda asks, or “should we get into a counselor’s office now so as not to risk losing a lifelong love to the cauterizing barriers we will build without each other?”

Amanda: Dec. 29, 1969, noon hour. Capricorn Earth Rooster, hour of the Horse.

Jasmine: May 15, 1974, 9:02 a.m. Taurus Air Tiger, hour of the Snake.

If Jasmine, a well-rounded Taurus Tiger, knew how analytically and soberly Amanda, a conscientious Cap Rooster, regards their breakup, she would be mystified. The Rooster and the Tiger are not exactly compatible, not exactly incompatible; they both see the world through different windows. The Tiger looks out, takes in the whole terrain, assumes its hers for the taking, and wonders how she can best enjoy and use it; the Rooster looks out, notices the potholes, the fallen trees, the things that need fixing, and the troubling intruders and worries about how best to bring everything and everyone on the property into line. If the Tiger jumps into the landscape, the Rooster will think the Tiger also needs to be brought into line, but the Tiger will resist curtailments of its freedom. In short, the Rooster has control issues, the Tiger has “being controlled” issues.

As an Earth Rooster, Amanda does not shy away from difficult truths. She wants to get to the bottom of everything, and she never does a job halfway. If she is Rooster-like, she will tell people what she thinks needs fixing; if she is Hen-like, she will be much more tactful and quiet, but will know how to make her approval or disapproval felt. Her Capricorn Western sign reinforces her tendency toward duty, order and the success and public esteem that come from consistent hard work. Luckily, Amanda has been splashed with Horse by her birth hour, which puts some Technicolor in Kansas. Her strong, pragmatic character will be punctuated by bursts of intuition, caprice and emotionality. Nonetheless, the Earth Rooster-Cap blend produces a little more reality than the average pleasure-loving, praise-seeking Air Tiger can really bear; and the vivacious Horse hour, in addition to rounding out Amanda’s character, also gives her the wit to make really astute, painful criticisms. Here, it’s worth adding, Air Tiger’s self-serving nature can wound the Rooster; and if Amanda has lashed out at Jasmine verbally, she has probably had reason. Since Amanda says the couple has not fought much, it may be that Amanda has bottled up her anger, not wishing to estrange her captivating Tiger. Tigers can be sadistic, and Roosters need to make sure that in humoring their Tigers, they’re not mistaking masochism for patience — and letting themselves get plucked.

It is probably Jasmine’s Taurus sun sign that fuels this couple’s attraction. The reliable Taurus is an earth sign (like Capricorn) and helps ground Jasmine’s volatile Air Tiger moon sign. The Tiger year gives great charm, humor, popularity, intellect, strength and ability, but it does not give a firm work ethic, or a very solid notion of honor and commitment. Air Tigers can work hard, as other Tigers do, but they prefer to be more opportunistic — to get results from working not so very hard — and their moral choices tend to be based on expedience and personal benefit. Calling them on this will make them angry; to remain friends with a Tiger, you must continue admiring the Tiger. Tigers will not stay long with a nonfan. Also, Tigers ultimately like to be the boss in their relationship, which is hard for Roosters, who are equally prideful, to swallow. However, the blending of the conservative, traditional, fair-minded, dutiful Taurus with Tiger creates a nicely balanced personality. The Tiger charm will be wedded to the Bull’s greater sense of honor and mission. The Taurus deliberateness and rigidity will be lightened and broadened by the Tiger joie de vivre and creativity. In a couple of years, Jasmine’s Snake hour birth will assert itself more, calming her Tiger agitation and putting her more in tune with Amanda’s outlook. But can they ride out the wait?

Amanda and Jasmine’s Taurus and Capricorn earth signs attract them to each other, but their Moon signs bedevil them with Big Picture conflicts. Taurus Tiger likes to live in the moment and not over-analyze that moment; Capricorn Rooster likes to think long-term and evaluate the moment ad infinitum. Oxen (1973) and Snakes (1965 or 1977) warm to the Rooster approach, Tigers don’t, quite. Tigers tend to prefer the more impetuous signs, such as Dogs (1970) and Horses (1978).

Because both Amanda and Jasmine have very self-sufficient melds, they are each so complete in themselves that it may be hard for them to hook up with others; they are like two marbles, not like two puzzle pieces, they are non-interlocking players. If they choose to draw others into the game, they might try seeking partners who also have well-rounded melds but who have a birth year that is more compatible with theirs (as described above). Still, there’s no reason for Amanda and Jasmine to shoot each other out of the circle while they wait for the other marbles to turn up — as long as they can play nice.

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