J. A. Getzlaff

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Some people will do anything to get into the mile-high club. Last week, a 35-year-old Cypriot tried his best to find someone who would respond favorably to his advances during a flight from London to Larnaca on the island of Cyprus.

His objects of unwanted attention — Cyprus Airways’ flight attendants — were not amused. It all started, according to a Reuters report, with smoking. The boorish passenger refused to put out his cigarettes, which he smoked one after the other. He then began to make “suggestive comments,” followed by flagrant groping. At one point, an airline spokesman told Reuters, he “pushed one [flight attendant] into the toilet.”

His behavior eventually became so uncontrollable that the airline diverted the flight to Athens, where the molester was handed over to Greek police. In addition to harassing his fellow 97 passengers and the flight crew of seven, the man succeeded in delaying the flight over two and a half hours.

DeBary, Fla. — Central Florida’s Interstate 4, which runs along the
state’s east coast, became an unholy mess recently, all due to an
oblivious bovine.

According to an Associated Press report, it all started when cell
phone-toting commuters noticed a lone cow grazing in a 2 foot deep bog.
Was she stuck in the muck? Or — oh God — drowning? The concerned
citizens began to call the Florida Highway Patrol, demanding that
something be done.