Britney says “No!” to indecent proposal

Millionaire horn-dog can't buy Spears' love; Lopez and Puffy: High-caliber couple. Plus: Siniad O' Connor hears celibacy calling.

Topics: Celebrity, Martha Stewart, Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears,

Oops! Britney Spears is defending her virginity again.

The indefatigable U.K. Sun reports that the princess of purity has turned down an offer of more than $11 million to sleep with an “infatuated American businessman.”

“It’s a disgusting offer. He should go and have a cold shower and leave me alone,” the belly-buttoned one reportedly told the tabloid. “It’s outrageous how a man like that can offer something which is totally unacceptable.”

Robert Redford could not be reached for comment.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Double your pleasure

“It’s like having twins: You get it all over at once.”

Michael Blakemore on winning two Tony Awards for best director — for a musical (“Kiss Me Kate”) and a play (“Copenhagen”) — in one night.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Livin’ la vida Lopez

Whatever Eminem felt during his nasty little scuffle the other night, rest assured, it’s nothing compared to the deep terror that gripped Jennifer Lopez at Puffy’s side during that fateful nightclub visit last year.

“It was a nightmare from beginning to end — I was absolutely terrified,” Lopez told British Elle, breaking her silence on the matter. “People around me were being shot. I was scared to death.”

But while she describes it as “a totally devastating experience that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy,” she says it’s not going to get in the way of her special love thing with the Daddy of Puff.

Sure, she says, “It’s made it so much harder for us — you can’t imagine the stress. It gets in the way but it’s not going to ruin what we have.”

Really, what’s a little random gunplay when you’re in love?

- – - – - – - – - – - -

At least he didn’t give him kneepads …

“It’s hardly a joke.”

Gerhard Schroeder’s former spokesman, Peter Boenisch, on the German chancellor’s recent gift to President Clinton: a 100-pound box of cigars.



- – - – - – - – - – - -

Where’s Charlie?

Hello, Angels! How’d you like to meet the faceless man who’s been doling out the assignments on speakerphone all these years?

According to the British film site Popcorn, Charlie himself will make an appearance in the upcoming big-screen version of “Charlie’s Angels” — and he’ll be played by a Scottish helicopter pilot.

Word is that David Paris, a 27-year-old pilot hired to chauffeur Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu around during shooting, so charmed his charges that when the director decided to include Charlie in a scene, they suggested him for the role. The scene, Popcorn reports, is in the can.

But will the chopper man end up on the cutting room floor?

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Nothing compares 2 sexy priest gear

“I have a huge calling toward celibacy, which will probably ultimately be the way I’ll go. Obviously I am a very sexual person, and that’s why it’s a struggle … I do insist on wearing very feminine and feminine-cut priest gear.”

– Mother Bernadette Mary (aka Siniad O’Connor) revealing that old habits die hard, in Time magazine.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Juicy bits

One good Samaritan deserves another. So if you come across Willie Fulgear’s safe in a trash pile somewhere, be sure to give him a call. The scrap-metal dealer who found 52 stolen Oscar statuettes earlier this year says he’s out most of his $50,000 reward money after burglars broke into his L.A. apartment and swiped the safe containing $40,000 and some jewelry. “I didn’t get a chance to even enjoy my money,” Fulgear told KCAL-TV. Guess Price Waterhouse can’t guarantee everything.

The Body, the soap star? Jesse Ventura is planning to appear as himself on the CBS soap opera “The Young and the Restless.” The episode, which will be taped in Los Angeles on June 14 (during the Minnesota governor’s weeklong trip to California), will air later this month. Set your VCRs now …

Lou Rawls, it turns out, would rather not drink muddy water. And he’s suing the city of Los Angeles and the Department of Water and Power for more than $500,000 to prove it. According to the Los Angeles Times, Rawls is ticked that the water at his home is polluted with “sand and other contaminants,” even though he has had his pipes flushed and fixed and gotten new faucets. He must be the only person in Los Angeles who has yet to discover Pellegrino.

Is GLAAD’s PR campaign against Dr. Laura Schlessinger working or what? A new poll by Shell Oil has found that only 6 percent of Americans say they’d want Dr. Laura to solve their relationship problems — making her the least trusted celebrity expert around. Thirty-two percent of respondents said they’d welcome home-repair advice from Bob Vila. Twenty-four percent said Warren Buffet can give them stock tips anytime. Nineteen percent would allow Martha Stewart to decorate their lives. And 10 percent would even take exercise lessons from Richard Simmons. Just please, whatever you do, don’t ask Dr. Laura what she thinks of ol’ Richard …

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • 1 of 14
  • Close
  • Fullscreen
  • Thumbnails

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Hannah and Adam, "Pilot"

    One of our first exposures to uncomfortable “Girls” sex comes early, in the pilot episode, when Hannah and Adam “get feisty” (a phrase Hannah hates) on the couch. The pair is about to go at it doggy-style when Adam nearly inserts his penis in “the wrong hole,” and after Hannah corrects him, she awkwardly explains her lack of desire to have anal sex in too many words. “Hey, let’s play the quiet game,” Adam says, thrusting. And so the romance begins.

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Marnie and Elijah, "It's About Time"

    In an act of “betrayal” that messes up each of their relationships with Hannah, Marnie and Elijah open Season 2 with some more couch sex, which is almost unbearable to watch. Elijah, who is trying to explore the “hetero side” of his bisexuality, can’t maintain his erection, and the entire affair ends in very uncomfortable silence.

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Marnie and Charlie, "Vagina Panic"

    Poor Charlie. While he and Marnie have their fair share of uncomfortable sex over the course of their relationship, one of the saddest moments (aside from Marnie breaking up with him during intercourse) is when Marnie encourages him to penetrate her from behind so she doesn’t have to look at him. “This feels so good,” Charlie says. “We have to go slow.” Poor sucker.

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Shoshanna and camp friend Matt, "Hannah's Diary"

    We’d be remiss not to mention Shoshanna’s effort to lose her virginity to an old camp friend, who tells her how “weird” it is that he “loves to eat pussy” moments before she admits she’s never “done it” before. At least it paves the way for the uncomfortable sex we later get to watch her have with Ray?

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Hannah and Adam, "Hard Being Easy"

    On the heels of trying (unsuccessfully) to determine the status of her early relationship with Adam, Hannah walks by her future boyfriend’s bedroom to find him masturbating alone, in one of the strangest scenes of the first season. As Adam jerks off and refuses to let Hannah participate beyond telling him how much she likes watching, we see some serious (and odd) character development ... which ends with Hannah taking a hundred-dollar bill from Adam’s wallet, for cab fare and pizza (as well as her services).

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Marnie and Booth Jonathan, "Bad Friend"

    Oh, Booth Jonathan -- the little man who “knows how to do things.” After he turns Marnie on enough to make her masturbate in the bathroom at the gallery where she works, Booth finally seals the deal in a mortifying and nearly painful to watch sex scene that tells us pretty much everything we need to know about how much Marnie is willing to fake it.

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Tad and Loreen, "The Return"

    The only sex scene in the series not to feature one of the main characters, Hannah’s parents’ showertime anniversary celebration is easily one of the most cringe-worthy moments of the show’s first season. Even Hannah’s mother, Loreen, observes how embarrassing the situation is, which ends with her husband, Tad, slipping out of the shower and falling naked and unconscious on the bathroom floor.

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Hannah and the pharmacist, "The Return"

    Tad and Loreen aren’t the only ones to get some during Hannah’s first season trip home to Michigan. The show’s protagonist finds herself in bed with a former high school classmate, who doesn’t exactly enjoy it when Hannah puts one of her fingers near his anus. “I’m tight like a baby, right?” Hannah asks at one point. Time to press pause.

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Hannah and Adam, "Role-Play"

    While it’s not quite a full-on, all-out sex scene, Hannah and Adam’s attempt at role play in Season 3 is certainly an intimate encounter to behold (or not). Hannah dons a blond wig and gets a little too into her role, giving a melodramatic performance that ends with a passerby punching Adam in the face. So there’s that.

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Shoshanna and Ray, "Together"

    As Shoshanna and Ray near the end of their relationship, we can see their sexual chemistry getting worse and worse. It’s no more evident than when Ray is penetrating a clothed and visibly horrified Shoshanna from behind, who ends the encounter by asking if her partner will just “get out of me.”

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Hannah and Frank, "Video Games"

    Hannah, Jessa’s 19-year-old stepbrother, a graveyard and too much chatting. Need we say more about how uncomfortable this sex is to watch?

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Marnie and Desi, "Iowa"

    Who gets her butt motorboated? Is this a real thing? Aside from the questionable logistics and reality of Marnie and Desi’s analingus scene, there’s also the awkward moment when Marnie confuses her partner’s declaration of love for licking her butthole with love for her. Oh, Marnie.

    13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

    Hannah and Adam, "Vagina Panic"

    There is too much in this scene to dissect: fantasies of an 11-year-old girl with a Cabbage Patch lunchbox, excessive references to that little girl as a “slut” and Adam ripping off a condom to ejaculate on Hannah’s chest. No wonder it ends with Hannah saying she almost came.

  • Recent Slide Shows

Comments

0 Comments

Comment Preview

Your name will appear as username ( settings | log out )

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> <strong> <i> <blockquote>