Books
“Me Talk Pretty One Day” by David Sedaris
In another sidesplitting collection, the author writes about his foulmouthed brother, his hopeless French and his brief career as a speed-freak performance artist.
I used to go to work across the street from a lovely park in midtown Manhattan. On sunny afternoons, without fail, a small troop of hapless interns with HBO brooches pinned to their polo shirts would fan out over the grounds, fling themselves into the paths of innocent pedestrians and bubble, “Hi! Do you like comedy?” I never actually saw anybody take a swing at one of them, but they were cruising for it. Obviously some audience-gaffing specialist had determined that nobody would say no, as if the real question were “Do you like being happy?” I like to think that if one of the saps from HBO had accosted David Sedaris — the only professional comic, if you can call him that, who consistently makes me happy — he might have replied, slowly and with wide eyes, “Do you like tragedy?”
“Me Talk Pretty One Day,” Sedaris’ new collection of essays, fits loosely into the tradition pioneered by those literary wags of an earlier era, like S.J. Perelman and Robert Benchley, who spun their random observations into epically loopy fantasias. Though Sedaris does contribute to the New Yorker, he is not, like his famed forebears, an urbane cocktail-party curmudgeon. He, too, examines the ridiculousness of those around him, but he does it with affectionate curiosity and not a jot of shame about his own mischievous weirdness; he comes across as equal parts Perelman and Pee-wee Herman. In a time when bestselling “humorous” books by the likes of Tim Allen and Paul Reiser leave one’s sides intact, Sedaris is a prime candidate for funniest writer alive.
You might have thought he had milked his past dry in his previous collections, “Barrel Fever” and “Naked.” But until now he somehow neglected to mention his stint as a college-dropout speed-freak performance artist:
I cashed in a savings bond left to me by my grandmother and used the money to buy what I hoped would be enough speed to get me through the month. It was gone in ten days, and with it went my ability to do anything but roll on the floor and cry. It would have made for a decent piece, but I couldn’t think about that at the time.
Once in a long while he eyes a familiar target (nouvelle cuisine, rube tourists in New York), but few readers are likely to experience pangs of recognition when reading his portrait of his younger brother, who calls himself the Rooster, speaks exclusively in ghetto profanity and has an inexplicably close bond with his mild-mannered father:
When my father complained about his aching feet, the Rooster set down his two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew and removed a fistful of prime rib from his mouth, saying, “Bitch, you need to have them ugly-ass bunions shaved down is what you need to do. But you can’t do shit about it tonight, so lighten up, motherfucker.”All eyes went to my father, who chuckled, saying only, “Well, I guess you have a point.”
The lunacy of language is Sedaris’ chief delight, and he re-creates dialogue with an expert ear. In one essay, his father, an engineer, explains a complex mathematical equation for the edification of some Carolina fishermen at the beach: “‘When you say pie,’ one man asked, ‘do you mean a real live pie, or one of those pie shapes they put on the news sometimes to show how much of your money goes to taxes?’”
Whenever the author’s sister Amy, the Sedaris family’s other professional wiseacre, appears, she shanghais the book. Exiting a crowded el train in Chicago, she yells back to her brother, still jammed on board, “So long, David. Good luck beating that rape charge.” Obviously the humor thing is subjective, but at this point I discovered that an explosion of mirth can propel a half-sucked Life Saver 10 feet.
The book’s second half is devoted to the author’s recent move to France, where his boyfriend owns an 18th century house in a remote village. Sedaris’ quixotic tilts at the language barrier interest him far more than bashing the French — refreshingly, he has nothing against them. During the course of one warlike language class, his fellow students try to explain the concept of Easter, in beginning French, to a baffled Muslim classmate:
The Poles led the charge to the best of their ability. “It is,” said one, “a party for the little boy of God who call his self Jesus and … oh, shit.” She faltered and her fellow countryman came to her aid.“He call his self Jesus and then he be die one day on two … morsels of … lumber.”
Sedaris tries with dogged perversity to boost his scant vocabulary on his own, making himself hundreds of flash cards to learn the words for “slum,” “facial swelling,” “death penalty,” “slaughterhouse,” “sea monster” and so on. You’ll find few winks here to suggest that the author is deliberately exaggerating his eccentricities — the corkscrew derangement of his worldview is ruthlessly consistent.
At one point Sedaris acquires an instructional tape of French phrases for doctors: “Come to Paris,” he writes, “and you will find me, headphones plugged into my external audio meatus, walking the quays and whispering, ‘Has anything else been inserted into your anus? Has anything else been inserted into your anus?’” I’m ready to go. This small, strange, hilarious spectacle would be worth the transatlantic airfare.
Greg Villepique plays guitar in the band Aerial Love Feed. More Greg Villepique.
“People Who Eat Darkness”: The disappearing blonde
A true crime story set in Tokyo illuminates the complicated truths behind media cliches
Joji Obara and Lucie Blackman (Credit: Estate of Lucie Jane Blackman) Lucie Blackman, 21, went out for the afternoon in 2000, phoning her roommate and best friend Louise to arrange a meeting later that night. Lucie never showed up, and within a few days she’d become one of those vanished blondes whose fates fuel headlines and hours of speculative media coverage. She was British, a former flight attendant, and she and Louise were living in Tokyo. They were also bar hostesses, a profession with a very specific meaning in Japan, difficult to explain to foreigners and not entirely clear to the Japanese themselves. Lucie both did and didn’t match the classic Missing Blonde profile, and for a while the mystery of what happened to her threatened to lapse into permanent obscurity.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Corporate criminals gone wild
The maker of the documentary film "Inside Job" has a new book excoriating Wall Street -- and President Obama
A detail from the cover of "Predator Nation" “Inside Job,” Charles Ferguson’s Oscar-winning documentary film on how government, Wall Street and academia colluded to deliver us the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, made a powerful case that something was very very rotten at the heart of the American political/economic nexus. His follow-up book, “Predator Nation: Corporate Criminals, Political Corruption, and the Hijacking of America,” can be considered the legal brief that dots every “i” and crosses every “t” in his argument. A tightly argued, profusely footnoted and deeply enraged castigation of everyone involved, “Predator Nation” isn’t just a factually unchallengeable account of how Wall Street blew up the global economy. It’s a denunciation, a call for justice and a warning: After getting away with the crime of the century, Wall Street still isn’t satisfied.
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Andrew Leonard is a staff writer at Salon. On Twitter, @koxinga21. More Andrew Leonard.
Can you identify?
Science shows that the only way around some readers' prejudices is to trick them
(Credit: Shutterstock/Salon) The news of recent research documenting how readers identify with the main characters in stories has mostly been taken as confirmation of the value of literary role models. Lisa Libby, an assistant professor at Ohio State University and co-author of a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, explained that subjects who read a short story in which the protagonist overcomes obstacles in order to vote were more likely to vote themselves several days later.
The suggestibility of readers isn’t news. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s novel of a sensitive young man destroyed by unrequited love, “The Sorrows of Young Werther,” inspired a rash of suicides by would-be Werthers in the late 1700s. Jack Kerouac has launched a thousand road trips. Still, this is part of science’s job: Running empirical tests on common knowledge — if for no other reason than because common knowledge (and common sense) is often wrong.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
“The Aleppo Codex”: The bizarre history of a precious book
A reporter traces the shadowy fate of the definitive version of the Hebrew Bible
Matti Friedman An ancient and priceless book, a murky history of evasions and coverups, an underground of sinister and possibly violent dealers, a former spy who drops tantalizing hints and a wily 84-year-old millionaire who says stuff like, “The problem with this story is that it could damage your health”: Are these the ingredients for a cheesy, improbable historical thriller? Yet “The Aleppo Codex,” Matti Friedman’s account of his attempts to learn the history of one of the world’s most precious books, sports all of these assets, and it’s nonfiction. If reporting this story damaged Friedman’s health, it probably happened when he realized what he’d stumbled into and his reporter’s heart started beating in doubletime.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Augusten Burroughs: Conquer trauma by letting it go
Salon exclusive: The best-selling memoirist says past horrors haunt us because we think about them too much. Stop
Augusten Burroughs Many people continue to feel influenced and even controlled by the things that happened to them a long time ago. Sometimes, people harbor dark, traumatic memories from childhood. Or fragments of memories — incomplete scenes, uncomfortable feelings, perhaps even a sense of certainty that something specific and terrible happened to them, but little more than this.
Others experienced something traumatic in adulthood that continues to affect them day to day many years later. Maybe an assault has left a person afraid to leave their home or enter a particular neighborhood.
Continue Reading CloseAugusten Burroughs' many books include "Runnning With Scissors," "Dry," "Sellevision," "Magical Thinking" and "Possible Side Effects." His latest book is "This Is How." More Augusten Burroughs.
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