Siniad, shut up and sing!

O'Connor says she's a lesbian, world says, "So what"; Angelina and her bro, the story that won't die; Eminem, please call Charlton Heston. Plus: Glorioski! Celine Dion is preggers!

Topics: Celebrity,

I’ll say one thing about Siniad O’Connor. Becoming a priest hasn’t dampened her delight in discussing her own sexuality one little bit.

In fact, she is now ready to tell the world that below that white collar beats the heart of a true, blue lesbian. Yep, the pope pic-ripper’s comin’ out.

“I’m a lesbian,” the mother of two declares in an interview to be published later this month in the lesbian magazine Curve, “although I haven’t been very open about that, and throughout most of my life I’ve gone out with blokes because I haven’t necessarily been terribly comfortable about being a lesbian. But I actually am a lesbian.”

And there you have it — the baldheaded truth.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Comin’ up short

“I got stopped on the street today by someone who thought I was Hank Azaria … I couldn’t believe it. I [often] get stopped by people who confuse me with other actors, but this is the first time I gained a foot in height.”

Nathan Lane on being taken for tall, at the premiere party for the flick “Love’s Labour’s Lost.”

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Tress for success

Hair today, ratings tomorrow?

After last season’s ratings swoon, “Felicity” star Keri Russell promises she’s growing her hair back as fast as she can.

“I haven’t actually had it cut since those first few weeks after it was originally cut,” she tells TV Guide Online. “It’s definitely growing and getting longer every day,” although she doubts it will return to its former glory in time for the show’s season premiere. “It’s so curly that even though it’s long, it kind of shrinks back up,” she says.

But the actress insists swearing off the scissors was her own decision — not the WB’s. “It’s kind of shitty that people [feel] my haircut is the reason for our [bad] ratings,” she says, “but it’s all right. They have to have something to talk about, so that was it for that week.”

Perhaps, in preparation for future weeks, Russell might consult Sarah Jessica Parker, who “Sex and the City” creator and exec producer Darren Star claims “is so brilliant as a stylist, she could have had a second career as a fashion editor.”

The actress apparently rules the set when it comes to the do’s and don’ts of ‘dos. “The hair rules are, if you can’t do it yourself, you can’t do it,” Parker tells the upcoming issue of TV Guide. “We can’t have freakin’ upsweeps or ‘dos, because I don’t know any woman in America who can run out of the house in the morning and do an upsweep — except for maybe Ivana Trump, and I don’t want anyone on the show to look like Ivana Trump.”

- – - – - – - – - – - -

The practical comedian

“I’m up, I’m dressed, I might as well go home.”

Bob Hope, shortly before he was released from the hospital last week.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

No safe Haven

You think those nasty incest rumors don’t hurt Angelina Jolie? If you cut her, will she not bleed?

“It hurts when people just make light of things that are important to you,” the actress admits to the Associated Press. “Like taking your relationship with your brother, which is a very beautiful thing, and twisting it so your parents are watching the TV, it’s a moment they’ll remember forever, and now rather than seeing a beautiful moment for their children, they’re thinking, ‘Oh, my God, the whole world is calling our children perverted publicly.’”

However, if they called them perverted privately, that wouldn’t be a problem.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Juicy bits

The Eminem story just keeps getting more complicated. The rapper’s now facing two more weapons charges, after he allegedly brandished a gun at Insane Clown Posse’s Douglas Dail in a dispute outside a Michigan stereo shop. And I’m not the only one questioning his violent motives. “I think this is probably good publicity for him,” Oakland County prosecutor David Gorcya suggested. “The mantra for a rapper is to be a tough guy. Maybe among those in the rapper world, this might be a badge of honor.”

The material girl’s material world was broken by burglars last week while she and her beau, Guy Ritchie, were attending the U.K. premiere of “The Next Best Thing.” According to the BBC, Madonna returned to their rented London mansion in the wee hours of Wednesday morning to find that thieves had forced open the gate of the $3 million Edwardian property and broken into the gardener’s quarters. However, the main house, where Madonna resides, had not been penetrated. It was like a virgin.

And in other celebrity pilfering news … Sharon Stone’s ex-housekeeper, Coco De Carmen Membrano, was sentenced to 16 months in the slammer for surreptitiously swiping the actress’s handbags, shoes and jewelry. Although Stone didn’t show up for Membrano’s trial, she told a probation officer that she was deeply hurt by the woman she considered almost family. “Coco treated me as if I were her daughter,” she said, “and when she would see me, she would hug me.” The better to lift her wallet?

Things got downright ugly last week when O.J. Simpson called in to a live Fox News Channel discussion with his ex-sister-in-law Denise Brown. She accused him point-blank of murdering her sister. He accused her of being a media ho and wanting to sleep with him. She called him “a pig.” It was no family picnic. So what persuaded Simpson to call in? “They promised they would not do exactly what they did,” the ex-football star’s attorney and friend Mary Fox said on Court TV’s “Crier Today.” “They said we’ll be fair to him and he can speak … Somehow they were able to push all the right buttons.”

Well, that was fast! Last week, Celine Dion was getting fertility treatments in New York. Now comes word that she’s got a bun in the oven, due in early March. “We just found out,” the singer said Friday in a statement, adding that she and her husband/manager, Rene Angelil, were “completely, totally happy” with the news. “In three weeks, if all goes well,” Dion said, “we’ll hear the heart of our baby, beating inside of my tummy.” Sounds like someone could use an anatomy lesson.

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • 1 of 11
  • Close
  • Fullscreen
  • Thumbnails

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Beautiful Darkness by Fabien Vehlmann & Kerascoët
    Kerascoët's lovely, delicate pen-and-watercolor art -- all intricate botanicals, big eyes and flowing hair -- gives this fairy story a deceptively pretty finish. You find out quickly, however, that these are the heartless and heedless fairies of folk legend, not the sentimental sprites beloved by the Victorians and Disney fans. A host of tiny hominid creatures must learn to survive in the forest after fleeing their former home -- a little girl who lies dead in the woods. The main character, Aurora, tries to organize the group into a community, but most of her cohort is too capricious, lazy and selfish to participate for long. There's no real moral to this story, which is refreshing in itself, beyond the perpetual lessons that life is hard and you have to be careful whom you trust. Never has ugly truth been given a prettier face.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Climate Changed: A Personal Journey Through the Science by Philippe Squarzoni
    Squarzoni is a French cartoonist who makes nonfiction graphic novels about contemporary issues and politics. While finishing up a book about France under Jacques Chirac, he realized that when it came to environmental policy, he didn't know what he was talking about. "Climate Changed" is the result of his efforts to understand what has been happening to the planet, a striking combination of memoir and data that ruminates on a notoriously elusive, difficult and even imponderable subject. Panels of talking heads dispensing information (or Squarzoni discussing the issues with his partner) are juxtaposed with detailed and meticulous yet lyrical scenes from the author's childhood, the countryside where he takes a holiday and a visit to New York. He uses his own unreachable past as a way to grasp the imminent transformation of the Earth. The result is both enlightening and unexpectedly moving.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Here by Richard McGuire
    A six-page version of this innovative work by a regular contributor to the New Yorker first appeared in RAW magazine 25 years ago. Each two-page spread depicts a single place, sometimes occupied by a corner of a room, over the course of 4 billion years. The oldest image is a blur of pink and purple gases; others depict hazmat-suited explorers from 300 years in the future. Inset images show the changing decor and inhabitants of the house throughout its existence: family photos, quarrels, kids in Halloween costumes, a woman reading a book, a cat walking across the floor. The cumulative effect is serene and ravishing, an intimation of the immensity of time and the wonder embodied in the humblest things.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Kill My Mother by Jules Feiffer
    The legendary Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist delivers his debut graphic novel at 85, a deliriously over-the-top blend of classic movie noir and melodrama that roams from chiaroscuro Bay City to Hollywood to a USO gig in the Pacific theater of World War II. There's a burnt-out drunk of a private eye, but the story is soon commandeered by a multigenerational collection of ferocious women, including a mysterious chanteuse who never speaks, a radio comedy writer who makes a childhood friend the butt of a hit series and a ruthless dame intent on making her whiny coward of a husband into a star. There are disguises, musical numbers and plenty of gunfights, but the drawing is the main attraction. Nobody convey's bodies in motion more thrillingly than Feiffer, whether they're dancing, running or duking it out. The kid has promise.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    The Motherless Oven by Rob Davis
    This is a weird one, but in the nervy surreal way that word-playful novels like "A Clockwork Orange" or "Ulysses" are weird. The main character, a teenage schoolboy named Scarper Lee, lives in a world where it rains knives and people make their own parents, contraptions that can be anything from a tiny figurine stashable in a pocket to biomorphic boiler-like entities that seem to have escaped from Dr. Seuss' nightmares. Their homes are crammed with gadgets they call gods and instead of TV they watch a hulu-hoop-size wheel of repeating images that changes with the day of the week. They also know their own "death day," and Scarper's is coming up fast. Maybe that's why he runs off with the new girl at school, a real troublemaker, and the obscurely dysfunctional Castro, whose mother is a cageful of talking parakeets. A solid towline of teenage angst holds this manically inventive vision together, and proves that some graphic novels can rival the text-only kind at their own game.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    NOBROW 9: It's Oh So Quiet
    For each issue, the anthology magazine put out by this adventurous U.K.-based publisher of independent graphic design, illustration and comics gives 45 artists a four-color palette and a theme. In the ninth issue, the theme is silence, and the results are magnificent and full of surprises. The comics, each told in images only, range from atmospheric to trippy to jokey to melancholy to epic to creepy. But the two-page illustrations are even more powerful, even if it's not always easy to see how they pertain to the overall concept of silence. Well, except perhaps for the fact that so many of them left me utterly dumbstruck with visual delight.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Over Easy by Mimi Pond
    When Pond was a broke art student in the 1970s, she took a job at a neighborhood breakfast spot in Oakland, a place with good food, splendid coffee and an endlessly entertaining crew of short-order cooks, waitresses, dishwashers and regular customers. This graphic memoir, influenced by the work of Pond's friend, Alison Bechdel, captures the funky ethos of the time, when hippies, punks and disco aficionados mingled in a Bay Area at the height of its eccentricity. The staff of the Imperial Cafe were forever swapping wisecracks and hopping in and out of each other's beds, which makes them more or less like every restaurant team in history. There's an intoxicating esprit de corps to a well-run everyday joint like the Imperial Cafe, and never has the delight in being part of it been more winningly portrayed.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    The Shadow Hero by Gene Luen Yang and Sonny Liew
    You don't have to be a superhero fan to be utterly charmed by Yang and Liew's revival of a little-known character created in the 1940s by the cartoonist Chu Hing. This version of the Green Turtle, however, is rich in characterization, comedy and luscious period detail from the Chinatown of "San Incendio" (a ringer for San Francisco). Hank, son of a mild-mannered grocer, would like to follow in his father's footsteps, but his restless mother (the book's best character and drawn with masterful nuance by Liew) has other ideas after her thrilling encounter with a superhero. Yang's story effortlessly folds pathos into humor without stooping to either slapstick or cheap "darkness." This is that rare tribute that far surpasses the thing it celebrates.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Shoplifter by Michael Cho
    Corinna Park, former English major, works, unhappily, in a Toronto advertising agency. When the dissatisfaction of the past five years begins to oppress her, she lets off steam by pilfering magazines from a local convenience store. Cho's moody character study is as much about city life as it is about Corinna. He depicts her falling asleep in front of the TV in her condo, brooding on the subway, roaming the crowded streets after a budding romance goes awry. Like a great short story, this is a simple tale of a young woman figuring out how to get her life back, but if feels as if it contains so much of contemporary existence -- its comforts, its loneliness, its self-deceptions -- suspended in wintery amber.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Through the Woods by Emily Carroll
    This collection of archetypal horror, fairy and ghost stories, all about young girls, comes lushly decked in Carroll's inky black, snowy white and blood-scarlet art. A young bride hears her predecessor's bones singing from under the floorboards, two friends make the mistake of pretending to summon the spirits of the dead, a family of orphaned siblings disappears one by one into the winter nights. Carroll's color-saturated images can be jagged, ornate and gruesome, but she also knows how to chill with absence, shadows and a single staring eye. Literary readers who cherish the work of Kelly Link or the late Angela Carter's collection, "The Bloody Chamber," will adore the violent beauty on these pages.

  • Recent Slide Shows



Comment Preview

Your name will appear as username ( settings | log out )

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> <strong> <i> <blockquote>