Siniad, shut up and sing!

O'Connor says she's a lesbian, world says, "So what"; Angelina and her bro, the story that won't die; Eminem, please call Charlton Heston. Plus: Glorioski! Celine Dion is preggers!

Topics: Celebrity,

I’ll say one thing about Siniad O’Connor. Becoming a priest hasn’t dampened her delight in discussing her own sexuality one little bit.

In fact, she is now ready to tell the world that below that white collar beats the heart of a true, blue lesbian. Yep, the pope pic-ripper’s comin’ out.

“I’m a lesbian,” the mother of two declares in an interview to be published later this month in the lesbian magazine Curve, “although I haven’t been very open about that, and throughout most of my life I’ve gone out with blokes because I haven’t necessarily been terribly comfortable about being a lesbian. But I actually am a lesbian.”

And there you have it — the baldheaded truth.

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Comin’ up short

“I got stopped on the street today by someone who thought I was Hank Azaria … I couldn’t believe it. I [often] get stopped by people who confuse me with other actors, but this is the first time I gained a foot in height.”

Nathan Lane on being taken for tall, at the premiere party for the flick “Love’s Labour’s Lost.”

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Tress for success

Hair today, ratings tomorrow?

After last season’s ratings swoon, “Felicity” star Keri Russell promises she’s growing her hair back as fast as she can.

“I haven’t actually had it cut since those first few weeks after it was originally cut,” she tells TV Guide Online. “It’s definitely growing and getting longer every day,” although she doubts it will return to its former glory in time for the show’s season premiere. “It’s so curly that even though it’s long, it kind of shrinks back up,” she says.

But the actress insists swearing off the scissors was her own decision — not the WB’s. “It’s kind of shitty that people [feel] my haircut is the reason for our [bad] ratings,” she says, “but it’s all right. They have to have something to talk about, so that was it for that week.”

Perhaps, in preparation for future weeks, Russell might consult Sarah Jessica Parker, who “Sex and the City” creator and exec producer Darren Star claims “is so brilliant as a stylist, she could have had a second career as a fashion editor.”

The actress apparently rules the set when it comes to the do’s and don’ts of ‘dos. “The hair rules are, if you can’t do it yourself, you can’t do it,” Parker tells the upcoming issue of TV Guide. “We can’t have freakin’ upsweeps or ‘dos, because I don’t know any woman in America who can run out of the house in the morning and do an upsweep — except for maybe Ivana Trump, and I don’t want anyone on the show to look like Ivana Trump.”

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The practical comedian

“I’m up, I’m dressed, I might as well go home.”

Bob Hope, shortly before he was released from the hospital last week.

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No safe Haven

You think those nasty incest rumors don’t hurt Angelina Jolie? If you cut her, will she not bleed?

“It hurts when people just make light of things that are important to you,” the actress admits to the Associated Press. “Like taking your relationship with your brother, which is a very beautiful thing, and twisting it so your parents are watching the TV, it’s a moment they’ll remember forever, and now rather than seeing a beautiful moment for their children, they’re thinking, ‘Oh, my God, the whole world is calling our children perverted publicly.’”

However, if they called them perverted privately, that wouldn’t be a problem.

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Juicy bits

The Eminem story just keeps getting more complicated. The rapper’s now facing two more weapons charges, after he allegedly brandished a gun at Insane Clown Posse’s Douglas Dail in a dispute outside a Michigan stereo shop. And I’m not the only one questioning his violent motives. “I think this is probably good publicity for him,” Oakland County prosecutor David Gorcya suggested. “The mantra for a rapper is to be a tough guy. Maybe among those in the rapper world, this might be a badge of honor.”

The material girl’s material world was broken by burglars last week while she and her beau, Guy Ritchie, were attending the U.K. premiere of “The Next Best Thing.” According to the BBC, Madonna returned to their rented London mansion in the wee hours of Wednesday morning to find that thieves had forced open the gate of the $3 million Edwardian property and broken into the gardener’s quarters. However, the main house, where Madonna resides, had not been penetrated. It was like a virgin.

And in other celebrity pilfering news … Sharon Stone’s ex-housekeeper, Coco De Carmen Membrano, was sentenced to 16 months in the slammer for surreptitiously swiping the actress’s handbags, shoes and jewelry. Although Stone didn’t show up for Membrano’s trial, she told a probation officer that she was deeply hurt by the woman she considered almost family. “Coco treated me as if I were her daughter,” she said, “and when she would see me, she would hug me.” The better to lift her wallet?

Things got downright ugly last week when O.J. Simpson called in to a live Fox News Channel discussion with his ex-sister-in-law Denise Brown. She accused him point-blank of murdering her sister. He accused her of being a media ho and wanting to sleep with him. She called him “a pig.” It was no family picnic. So what persuaded Simpson to call in? “They promised they would not do exactly what they did,” the ex-football star’s attorney and friend Mary Fox said on Court TV’s “Crier Today.” “They said we’ll be fair to him and he can speak … Somehow they were able to push all the right buttons.”

Well, that was fast! Last week, Celine Dion was getting fertility treatments in New York. Now comes word that she’s got a bun in the oven, due in early March. “We just found out,” the singer said Friday in a statement, adding that she and her husband/manager, Rene Angelil, were “completely, totally happy” with the news. “In three weeks, if all goes well,” Dion said, “we’ll hear the heart of our baby, beating inside of my tummy.” Sounds like someone could use an anatomy lesson.

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