2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
“I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people’s accomplishments,” Chief Justice Earl Warren once said. “The front page has nothing but man’s failures.”
Those were the days. Here’s what some of the worthies of the sporting world have been up to the past few days, according to wire services:
A week earlier Janikowski, a native of Poland, had been acquitted of trying to bribe a police officer to let his roommate go after the roommate got into an argument with a club bouncer. A jury agreed with the kicker’s lawyer, who argued that he was under the impression he could simply pay a fine on the spot.
Rodrigo Dezubriria, 22, also a student, was badly beaten in April at the off-campus party. Faoa, 19, was charged with one count each of mayhem and assault by means likely to produce great bodily injury. The 6-4, 268-pounder, who redshirted during his freshman year last season, is suspended from the team until the matter is resolved. His next court date is July 10.
Russell was banned for life from coaching in the U.S. and Canada in 1998 after he was accused of selling anabolic steroids. He’s in Spain to train Russian swimmer Nina Jivanevskaia, now a Spanish resident. Jivanevskaia was said to be devastated by the arrest of her coach. The Spanish state news agency says the arrests were part of a crackdown on an ecstasy smuggling ring that sent the drug by mail from Spain and the Netherlands to the United States.
In that interview, Rocker, no friend to Mets fans even before he opened his mouth, talked about how riders of that train had to ride “next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It’s depressing.” He also insulted virtually every ethnic and social group in the interview, which netted him a fine, a suspension and some mandatory sensitivity training.
Associated Press writer Lukas I. Alpert rode the No. 7 Wednesday to see how Rocker would be received. “Yeah, let him ride,” said one rider. “He’ll definitely be hassled.” Another said the lefty wouldn’t have the guts to ride the subway, which would make Rudy Giuliani happy. The mayor told WFAN radio that the city is trying to persuade the Braves not to let Rocker take the subway for security reasons.
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Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.