31 Ejaculations: No. 17

Of course my stoned little dirty mind is fibrillating with the naughtiness of the whole thing.

Topics: Sex, Love and Sex,

I used to smoke way too much pot. And this old girlfriend from Boston came to visit and right away we didn’t hit it off. I think she only came to see me because I was living in New York and she wanted me to show her around the big city. So I did. We saw every damn thing, all the tall buildings, Times Square, the Museum of Modern Art, a musical. When we got back to my stupid little pad, I thought relaxation was in order, so I smoked a joint. She had a little. And we had sex that was about as unmemorable as sex had ever been with us. We both knew it — she and I were not meant to be, we were only going through the motions. So we cum and we go to sleep. I’m still stoned, of course. And my bed was one of those foolish college student beds that has only enough area for one person, so we’re lying there like two spoons in a drawer. I’m still horny. After about 15 minutes, I guess she is too, because she’s kind of pushing her butt into me. So I figure, OK, cool. And I start rubbing into her and she’s rubbing back. All this with no talking, pretending we’re asleep. Now it’s getting hot and heavy. And I finally start, you know, pushing into her. And she’s into it. She gets on her hands and knees and I’m in her and I look down and suddenly I realize, I’m not where I think I am. I’m in her butt. Threw me for a sec and then I thought, whatever, cool. She obviously knows where I am and she’s having a great time. I didn’t know she was into that kind of thing. Didn’t know I was either, since I’d never done it before. And I blow my nut and it’s definitely different. Kind of intense and nasty around the edges. Of course my stoned little dirty mind is fibrillating with the naughtiness of the whole thing. And that’s it, I pass out. I guess she does too.

Next morning we get up and I say, “That was nice.” And she says, “What?” And I say, “You know, last night.” And she says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” And that was it. She left about two hours later. Never saw her again.

Read No. 18

Eric Bogosian is an actor and writer. His solo shows include "Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll" and "Wake Up and Smell the Coffee." His novel "Mall" will be published by Simon & Schuster in November.

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