Forget Britney, Drew’s getting hitched!

Barrymore to wed Canadian sperm donor; Minnie Driver going Jennifer Lopez route -- no ifs, ands or butts! Ian Holm: "Lord of the Rings" movie will flush "Star Wars." Plus: Halle Berry wants to know what you're thinking.

Topics: Celebrity, J.R.R. Tolkien,

Wanted: A wedding singer to sing at Drew Barrymore and Tom Green’s nuptials.

Yep, Hollywood’s cutest alternacouple are planning to tie the knot, according to E! Online. Although they haven’t announced a date, Green’s publicist, Marleah Leslie, has confirmed their plans to wed.

“It’s true. That’s all I’ll tell you,” Leslie told the site.

Damn good thing the Canadian comedian put Drew down as the likely recipient of his sperm bank donation a few months back …

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And it could be Hobbit-forming

“I’m not allowed to say much about it, but it’s going to make ‘Star Wars’ look like a weekend in the lavatory.”

Sir Ian Holm on the “absolute brilliance” of the special-effects-laden film trilogy based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s “Lord of the Rings,” in the London Express.

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Look who’s making like Jennifer Lopez

Minnie Driver wants to come out of the closet and sing!

“I desperately want to go public with my singing,” the actress tells Glamour magazine, revealing that, before she made her name in Hollywood, she was signed to a recording contract.

But, although she’s planning to record the soundtrack to her next film, she’s a little worried that the world’s not ready for her folk-pop tunage.

“It’s so scary, because I wrote the songs myself and the public will inevitably say, ‘Oh, that one’s about Matt Damon’ or ‘That one’s about Josh Brolin.’ But I can’t not do it.”

Maybe she should consult beau Brolin’s stepmother, Barbra Streisand, for advice …

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Insultus Maximus

“I’d move to Los Angeles if Australia and New Zealand were swallowed up by a huge tidal wave, if there was a bubonic plague in England, and if the continent of Africa disappeared from some Martian attack.”



Russell Crowe on how he feels about L.A., in the New York Daily News.

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Flaying the father figure

If you thought Eddie Haskell was rascally, check this:

Tony Dow, who played Wally on “Leave It to Beaver,” says Hugh Beaumont, who played perfect pops Ward Cleaver, “hated kids.”

“Hugh wanted out of the show after the second season. He thought he should be doing films and things,” Dow tells the Toronto Sun. “He was a great guy, very talented, and he was also a Methodist minister, but kids were not his specialty.”

Sheesh. Next thing you know they’ll be telling us Robert Reed was gay.

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Terminate this

Sigh. Titanic-egoed director James Cameron has taken a pass on directing “Terminator 3,” according to the Hollywood Reporter. Names including Ridley Scott (“Gladiator”), David Fincher (“Fight Club”) and Roland Emmerich (“Independence Day”) are being bandied about as replacements.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, however, apparently meant that “I’ll be back” business and will reprise his role to do battle with a next-generation Terminator android — who just happens to be a girl.

Hello, robot love?

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Berry interesting

If Halle Berry, who plays mutant superhero Storm in Bryan Singer’s big-screen take on the “X-Men,” could have one superpower, what would it be?

Nope, not superior driving skills. Or the ability to skip the roads altogether and fly.

“Being an actress,” she tells the Toronto Sun, “I’d like to read minds, to know what people are thinking in this industry, because there is so much dishonesty out there.”

OK. What am I thinking now?

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