This isn’t the first time “The Brady Bunch” theme has turned a merger into a musical. A recent meeting held to celebrate the upcoming $3.2 billion-dollar purchase of America’s largest concert promoter by America’s largest radio station owner used the same device.

At a simulcast company event in April, live-music giant SFX, which owns 200 concert halls across the country (and which is about to merge with 867-station-strong radio behemoth Clear Channel), trotted out the infamous theme. Players from its vast national team appeared in split screen, nodding to the following lyrics: “Here’s the story/of a bunch of companies … That’s the way we became SFX.”

“That’s funny,” said a mildly amused Jeannie Smart, Viacom’s vice president of communications, after being apprised of the thematic coincidence. “We thought we were being so original.”

Meanwhile, SFX spokesman Howard Schacter seemed flattered that another company had had the same idea. “It just seemed like a to-the-point strategic way of communicating to our 3,000 employees that we are coming together.”

For the record, SFX wasn’t the first corporation to appropriate the Bradys. The family has also energized commercials for MCI and IKEA. Even during the show’s heyday, there were subtle indications that the Bradys possessed metaproperties: Henry Kissinger once visited the set with his daughters (though he did not appear in any episode).

To what then shall we attribute “The Brady Bunch” theme’s talismanic power?

“It’s the mad genius of ["Brady Bunch" creator] Sherwood Schwartz,” says David E. Brady (no relation), creator of Encyclopedia Brady, “an interactive guide to the Brady universe.”

“Schwartz understood that the theme song offered the perfect vehicle to explain the show to unfamiliar viewers,” Brady says. “Add catchy melodies and easy-to-memorize lyrics, and you have a piece of music that’s probably as well-known as anything by Mozart or Beethoven.” Schwartz also created the canonical “Gilligan’s Island” theme.

Reached for comment in his Beverly Hills, Calif., office, Sherwood Schwartz, 83, was pleased that “The Brady Bunch” theme has assumed such a prestigious role in American business.

“It certainly wasn’t the original intention,” Schwartz said. “I think it says something very nice. It not only brings two families together, it has a message about getting along.” Schwartz paused for a moment, then added: “It would be nice if they sent me a gift.”

In a sense Viacom has sent a gift. The company owns TV Land, where “Brady Bunch” reruns play in residual-generating perpetuity. The Viacom-owned Paramount also produced two motion pictures: “The Brady Bunch Movie” (1994) and “A Very Brady Sequel,” released in July 1996.

“It’s achieved a certain kind of immortality,” Schwartz mused. “You know, I composed the theme with one finger. I can’t play piano. I guess that says a lot.”

Here’s the spoiler alert: CBS went all out in its fantasy killing of Charlie Sheen’s dopplegänger, Charlie Harper.

From Reuters (citing TMZ):

According to TMZ’s taping attendee, the plot lays out how Rose (played by Melanie Lynskey) — the neighbor who had been doggedly pursuing Harper, and whom Harper brought to Paris last season — married Harper while in the City of Lights, but later caught him cheating on her in the shower.

According to TMZ’s, Rose speaks at Charlie’s funeral, telling everyone that while she and her spouse were waiting in a Paris subway station the day after the shower incident, Charlie “slipped” onto the tracks, in front of an oncoming train, resulting in a “meat explosion.”

I’m guessing this is the result of some contest over at Warner Bros. to see who could come up with literally the grossest way to kill off a character played by a guy who is suing them. I’m almost surprised that these other suggestions didn’t make the cut for appropriately described death scenes for the family sitcom.

1. Charlie Harper visits Universal Studios on a whim, where a comedy of errors has him entering what he believes to be Eli Roth’s “Hostel”-themed amusement park maze, but in reality turns out to be an actual torture dungeon belonging to a rich, Slovakian sadist.

2. Death by autoerotic asphyxiation while simultaneously looking at child pornography and kicking a sad orphan puppy.

3. Jon Cryer finally snaps after one too many gay jokes and beats Charlie to death with his own well-polished shoe.

4. Crew just re-edits the ending of “Se7en” to reveal what was really in that box. (It was Charlie’s head.)

5. Cocaine and hooker overdose.

Can you come up with a better ending to Charlie Harper’s life than “Two and a Half Men” did? Leave it in the comments!

Geithner expressed confidence that a deal would be reached ahead of the Aug. 2. deadline, but noted that whether or not the deal would be good for the economy was a different matter. He told Schieffer that the Obama administration faced a difficult task in trying to broker the “biggest deal possible.”

Watch Geithner’s appearance below, via CBS:

3. Secret wedding of the day: No-longer-”Ugly” star America Ferrera married longtime boyfriend Ryan Piers Williams in an intimate ceremony last night.

4. Internet drinks of the day: Brazilian winemaker Vinicola Aurora’s “Keep Cooler” alcoholic beverages feature three recognizable faces from Web forums on their labels: Trollface, Forever Alone and Me Gusta. Where’s the Anonymous mask wine-spritzer?

5. Sitcom death of the day: How are the writers planning to get rid of Charlie Sheen’s character on “Two and a Half Men”? Here’s a hint: It involves Chuck Lorre’s fantasy scenario.