For those unfamiliar with Hall’s exploits on dry land, he was suspended in 1998 for testing positive for marijuana, and more recently he failed a public relations test by promising to “smash the Australians like guitars” in the 4-by-100-meter relay. But a recent diabetes diagnosis has given his Olympic story a touch of the triumph-over-adversity angle, and he reminded viewers of that after his win. “There’s a million reasons why I shouldn’t have gotten it tonight, like diabetes, like all the turmoil I’ve been through,” Hall said. “To come out on top is such a thrill.”

Tracking Mrs. Jones
Another American took the first steps of what she hopes will be a thrilling run at the Olympics. Runner and pitchwoman Marion Jones took to the track in a black cat suit and won her heat in the 100 meters. She has pledged to win five gold medals in Sydney. Though many have called Jones arrogant for her goal, sprinter Maurice Greene is a top contender for the gold medal in conceit. Olympics.com reports that Greene bet his training partners that he could run at his slowest speed and still win his heat in the 100-meter race. He did it, finishing in 10.30 seconds, fast enough to earn a spot in the semifinal.

Torch star gets a leg up
Though Jones gets more press stateside, Aussie runner Cathy Freeman is the hometown favorite in Sydney. The Australian Broadcasting Corp. reports that the crowd roared its approval as she was introduced before the 400-meter race. Freeman easily qualified for the semifinal and is expected to win the gold in the event. Her rival, French runner Marie-Jose Perec, mysteriously fled Sydney the day before the track competition began.

Americans break “voodoo” curse
The U.S. women’s softball team started its own comeback story with a victory over New Zealand, according to the Washington Post. The Americans had lost three tough games in a row at the Olympics, all in extra innings. As preparation for the New Zealand game, the U.S. team jumped into showers fully clothed, chanting and singing to drive away the bad spirits they blamed for their losing streak. Apparently it worked. “The voodoo is gone,” said team member Lisa Fernandez. “We’re ready to rock ‘n’ roll.”

That’s a sport?
Russian Irina Karavaeva won the gold in the first gold medal awarded in a trampoline event. Though this is the first Olympic outing for trampoline, the sport has been recognized in other venues for decades; the first competitions were held in 1960. Trampoline veterans disagree with those who scoff at its inclusion in the Olympics. “It’s a viable sport with any other sport,” said Judy Wills Cline, the first world champion. “This is much, much harder than it looks. They don’t know us if they criticize us. Just like a lot of people criticize table tennis and synchronized swimming.” Trampoline may someday reach the heights of respect now enjoyed by water ballet and Ping-Pong.

So, so sad
For those who prefer the agony of defeat to the thrill of victory, Reuters served up a few sob stories on Friday. Defending 100-meter track champion Donovan Bailey finished dead last in his second-round heat. Bailey has been suffering from a viral infection. To demonstrate just how far he has fallen: Bailey set a then world record in the Atlanta Games at 9.84 seconds. Friday, his time was 11.36 seconds. Another former Olympic champ, high jumper Charles Austin, also lost the chance to repeat when he couldn’t go higher than 2.20 meters in the qualifying round of his event. He won the gold medal in 1996 with a 2.39-meter jump.

Running into the net
Away from the track, the American men’s tennis team sucked even more than expected. Andre Agassi has been sidelined by the cancer diagnoses of his mother and sister, and Pete Sampras — supposedly the nice one — apparently can’t be bothered with the prize-money-free Olympics. After all, he already has an endorsement deal with Nike. Consequently, the American team had to go all the way over the hill and to the bottom of the barrel to scrape together a squad. Has-beens Todd Martin and Michael Chang lost in straight sets, and team member Vince Spadea (ranked 157th in the world) got trounced by Patrick Rafter.

Medal tally

1. United States
– 16 gold, 10 silver, 14 bronze, 40 total

2. China
– 14 gold, 7 silver, 9 bronze, 30 total

3. Australia
– 8 gold, 11 silver, 9 bronze, 28 total

4. Italy
– 7 gold, 3 silver, 14 bronze, 24 total

5. France
– 9 gold, 10 silver, 4 bronze, 23 total

6. Russia
– 5 gold, 8 silver, 10 bronze, 23 total

7. Korea
– 4 gold, 5 silver, 7 bronze, 16 total

8. Germany
– 3 gold, 5 silver, 7 bronze, 15 total

9. Ukraine
– 2 gold, 6 silver, 3 bronze, 11 total

10. Netherlands
– 6 gold, 2 silver, 3 bronze, 11 total

11. Romania
– 5 gold, 2 silver, 4 bronze, 11 total

12. Japan
– 4 gold, 4 silver, 3 bronze, 11 total

13. Great Britain
– 2 gold, 5 silver, 3 bronze, 10 total

14. Belarus
– 0 gold, 1 silver, 6 bronze, 7 total

15. Cuba
– 2 gold, 2 silver, 2 bronze, 6 total

16. Sweden
– 3 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze, 5 total

17. Switzerland
– 1 gold, 3 silver, 1 bronze, 5 total

18. Slovakia
– 1 gold, 3 silver, 1 bronze, 5 total

19. Indonesia
– 1 gold, 2 silver, 2 bronze, 5 total

20. Bulgaria
– 3 gold, 1 silver, 0 bronze, 4 total

21. Poland
– 2 gold, 2 silver, 0 bronze, 4 total

22. Hungary
– 2 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze, 4 total

23. Canada
– 1 gold, 1 silver, 2 bronze, 4 total

24. Czech Republic
– 1 gold, 0 silver, 3 bronze, 4 total

25. Spain
– 2 gold, 0 silver, 1 bronze, 3 total

26. Greece
– 0 gold, 2 silver, 1 bronze, 3 total

27. Belgium
– 0 gold, 1 silver, 2 bronze, 3 total

28. Turkey
– 2 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze, 2 total

29. Mexico
– 1 gold, 1 silver, 0 bronze, 2 total

30. Brazil
– 0 gold, 2 silver, 0 bronze, 2 total

31. Denmark
– 0 gold, 2 silver, 0 bronze, 2 total

32. North Korea
– 0 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze, 2 total

33. South Korea
– 0 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze, 2 total

34. Taiwan
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 2 bronze, 2 total

35. Costa Rica
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 2 bronze, 2 total

36. Estonia
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 2 bronze, 2 total

37. Azerbaijan
– 1 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze, 1 total

38. Colombia
– 1 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze, 1 total

39. Croatia
– 1 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze, 1 total

40. Finland
– 1 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze, 1 total

41. Lithuania
– 1 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze, 1 total

42. Moldova
– 0 gold, 1 silver, 0 bronze, 1 total

43. Nigeria
– 0 gold, 1 silver, 0 bronze, 1 total

44. Uruguay
– 0 gold, 1 silver, 0 bronze, 1 total

45. Yugoslavia
– 0 gold, 1 silver, 0 bronze, 1 total

46. Armenia
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 1 bronze, 1 total

47. Georgia
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 1 bronze, 1 total

48. India
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 1 bronze, 1 total

49. Kyrgyzstan
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 1 bronze, 1 total

50. Kuwait
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 1 bronze, 1 total

51. Latvia
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 1 bronze, 1 total

52. New Zealand
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 1 bronze, 1 total

53. Portugal
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 1 bronze, 1 total

54. Thailand
– 0 gold, 0 silver, 1 bronze, 1 total

Korean delegates erupted in cheers in the conference hall after IOC President Jacques Rogge opened a sealed envelope and read the words: “The International Olympic Committee has the honor of announcing that the 23rd Olympic Winter Games in 2018 are awarded to the city of Pyeongchang.”

The vote totals weren’t immediately released.

A majority was required for victory, meaning Pyeongchang received at least 48 votes among the eligible 95 voters.

It was the first time an Olympic bid race with more than two finalists was decided in the first round since 1995, when Salt Lake City defeated three others to win the 2002 Winter Games.

Had no majority been reached in the opening round, the city with the fewest votes would have been eliminated and the two remaining cities gone to a second and final ballot.

Pyeongchang had been determined to win in the first round after its previous two defeats. The Koreans had led in each of the first rounds in the votes for the 2010 and 2014 Games but then lost in the final ballots to Vancouver and Sochi.

Pyeongchang, whose slogan is “New Horizons,” campaigned on the theme that it deserved to win on a third try and will spread the Olympics to a lucrative new market in Asia and become a hub for winter sports in the region.

The Korean victory followed the IOC’s trend in recent votes, having taken the Winter Games to Russia (Sochi) for the first time in 2014 and giving South America its first Olympics with the 2016 Summer Games in Rio de Janeiro.

Now, the International Olympic Committee has reportedly written a letter to the Canadian National Olympic Committee “to find out a few more details,” and the team has issued a public apology. What’s the big deal, you might ask? For one, 18-year-old team member Marie-Philip Poulin was snapped holding a beer, and she’s just under the legal drinking age in British Columbia. OK, so that’s inappropriate, I guess — only, in her home of Quebec, the drinking age is 18. Are people really that scandalized that someone just weeks away from her 19th birthday was caught imbibing in Vancouver after winning an Olympic gold medal?

I suspect not. Judging by the online chatter over the “incident,” the age issue is but one more complaint shoveled onto the pile. Primarily at issue is that some perceive it as a display of poor sportsmanship, which I find kind of hilarious for two reasons: 1.) Ice hockey is one of the most impolite professional sports around (within five minutes of the first men’s hockey game I attended, two players had already resorted to fisticuffs on the ice), and 2.) Have these people never witnessed the hooting, hollering, fist-pumping, champagne-popping, and exclamations of “I’m goin’ to Disneyland!” at, like, any major sporting event? 

I hate to be predictable, but I gotta say it: I suspect there’s also a definite undercurrent of sexism here. For example, one blogger wrote:

My question is: Why ‘ladies’ play men’s sports and look so awkward (unlady like) in the process? Being a woman is all about being a woman (grace, softness…). Figure skating is by all standards a women’s sport, as we witnessed yesterday in Kim Yu-Na’s performance. Simply brilliant.

So ladies, make an attempt to look like females, stay away from men’s sports, don’t try to be like men, you know, that’s what the men are for.

Aw, I think he’s scared of the big bad lady athletes. Poor dude — we just aren’t used to seeing women engaged in such stereotypically manly celebration. Not only are they drinking beer, they’re also chugging champagne and smoking cigars. Looking through the photographs, you can almost hear their self-satisfied guttural belches — and, you know what? It makes me swoon in full-blown girl-crush mode. I mean, my cheeks actually ache because every time I catch a glimpse of those snapshots, I grin uncontrollably. Now these are some women I’d like to grab a beer with.

Why don’t all the haters take a note from these Canadian ladies: Grab a Molson’s and chill out, eh?