Note to whoever started that rumor that "Ally McBeal" writer/producer David E. Kelley was having an affair with Calista Flockhart: His wife, Michelle Pfeiffer, is not amused.
When she heard the tall tale repeated on a local radio station in Los Angeles, where she and Kelley are raising their two kids, "I just saw red," Pfeiffer tells the U.K. weekly Now. "Lies have been printed before, and I accept that. But this one was a lie too far."
Concerned that their kids' friends and teachers would hear the rumor and think it true, Pfeiffer demanded that the station retract, which it did.
Still, fumes Pfeiffer, "To say we were furious isn't strong enough."
Well, now you know what lies beneath.
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Nothing comes between her and her Calvins
"I find it quite embarrassing to have underwear with his name on it."
-- Isabella Rossellini on wearing underwear designed by her friend Calvin Klein.
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The Bushes survive Richard, and vice versa
Oh, to have been a sand flea on the wall over in the "Live With Regis" greenroom on Thursday!
The mind reels at all the topics Richard Hatch and George W. and Laura Bush could have touched on when they chanced a meeting there among the coffee cups and the TVs last week.
Did the "Survivor" winner plot strategy with the Republican presidential nominee, telling, perhaps, that sly and steady wins the race? Did they discuss the relative merits of eating subliminal rats? Did Richard hold forth on his favorite topic: Sue's tits?
Nope.
"The Bushes were great," Hatch told the New York Daily News. "They asked me how I ate on the island and what I did when I had to go to the bathroom."
And this is the couple that wants to restore dignity to the White House?
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What a little moonlighting can do
"I definitely would be [from] Mars. I would say I'm Venus sometimes ... I'd say I'm more from the moon."
-- Cybill Shepherd, who's now hosting the TV talk show "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," on just where she's comin' from.
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Juicy bits
Aloha ... oh. Hawaiian prosecutors have decided to go ahead and charge Whitney Houston with a misdemeanor drug charge from last January's Keahole-Kona International Airport incident after all. (She was, you may recall, caught trying to board a plane with 15.2 grams of pot in her luggage -- but managed to make a quick getaway before the police arrived.) The singer has until Oct. 26 to show up and take her lumps -- or find herself with a warrant out for her arrest. Houston, she really has a problem now.
I know this will come as a big relief to many of you ... Richard Hatch's book deal is back on again, Variety reports. Although that $500,000 book deal with St. Martin's is still history, the wily "Survivor" winner has found a way around CBS's roadblock preventing him from discussing his island experience. He's writing a self-help book -- "Survival Secrets: How to Make a Million Dollars, Lose 100 Lbs. and Live Happily Ever After" -- to be published by Lyons Press in November. Hatch says his deal with Lyons is "uniquely back-end heavy." Ill bet.
Coming soon to a multiplex near you ... "Ulysses." The movie version of James Joyce's classic novel will star "The Crying Game's "Stephen Rea as Leopold Bloom and "The Commitments" star Angeline Ball as his wife, Molly, although the project has yet to receive the blessing of the author's grandson Stephen Joyce. Just as long as they don't tell us Molly's really a guy.
And you thought "Big Brother" was a bummer. The BBC reports that a new British TV series, "It's Your Funeral," gives celebrity guests a chance to plan their own funeral -- specifying what they'd like the ceremony to be like, the flowers, the mourners and what they'd like to wear. The weekly series is being billed as a "serious, insightful look" at something we all have to think about. Really, do we have to?
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