Super Bowl
The Ugly Bowl
It's no clash of the titans, but this Sunday's showdown between two deeply flawed teams at least offers some suspense.
Does anyone remember what happened to the great era of offensive football we were all talking about just a few short months ago? What happened to the talk about how the Rams had taken Bill Walsh’s philosophy to a new level that was swamping NFL defensive coordinators and threatening to disturb the balance between offense and defense that creates tension in great football? Apparently what happened is that Tony Siragusa and Sam Adams, all 670 pounds of them, sat on it.
What the NFL now has, apparently, is a complete and completely unexpected reversal of what we had last season (and thought, for the first month or two of the 2000 season, that we were going to get again). The Baltimore Ravens’ defense, which allowed a ridiculous 2.7 yards per rush and a record-low 165 points this season, looks like a mirror opposite of the St. Louis Rams’ record-setting offense of 1999. What a Super Bowl that would have made: the ’99 Rams offense against the 2000 Ravens defense. Then again, the Rams’ defense would have had to face the Ravens’ offense, which is as ugly a prospect as I can imagine, so maybe it all evens out.
As it stands, this Sunday’s Super Bowl between the two teams with their conference’s best defenses seems likely to be decided by the last (or maybe the first) team that misses a field goal. All in all, it seems about as exciting a prospect as two giant tortoises banging into each other. What happened to offense?
Maybe nothing. The St. Louis Rams just missed the home field advantage in the playoffs, a fact largely due to injuries to Kurt Warner and Marshall Faulk, and despite their dreadful defense, they might well have been in the Super Bowl again if not for those injuries. The league’s second-best offense, at least when quarterback Daunte Culpepper wasn’t injured, belonged to the Minnesota Vikings, and they, like the Rams, were cursed with a terrible defense. What we saw this season was an incredible case of imbalance: a handful of great offensive and defensive teams, but nothing resembling the great all-around NFL teams of the ’80s and ’90s, like the Redskins of Joe Gibbs or Bill Walsh’s 49ers, or even the Dallas Cowboys under Jimmy Johnson.
The real question isn’t “What happened to offense?” but “What happened to teams with defense and offense?” And the answer, I think, is a combination of the free agency and the salary cap. The salary cap was designed, or so NFL executives told us, to restrict player movement and foster (as one of them phrased it) “fan identification” by keeping players from jumping to new teams. But of course its real purpose was to do exactly what it seemed designed to do, namely to hold down salaries. It also had one other practical effect, the opposite of what it was supposed to do. Stars such as Dana Stubblefield (who jumped from the 49ers to the Redskins) and Keyshawn Johnson (Jets to Bucs), players who might have made a big difference in their team’s playoff chances, had to be jettisoned — not because their teams didn’t want to pay them their market value, but because, under the spending limitation imposed by the salary cap, they couldn’t. The overall effect of the cap, along with free agency, has been to keep teams with the best eye for talent from stockpiling quality players on both sides of the ball.
The results have been seasons like the last two, which ended in playoffs where the question wasn’t “Will they beat the spread?” but “Who’s going to win?” Which is why, despite what purists like me would call the decline in quality (and despite the drop in ratings for regular season games), the Super Bowl is more popular than ever.
There’s another reason, though, why defense has come to dominate the last two seasons: plain luck. Last year the Rams were in what was probably the weakest division in football and didn’t draw much in the way of their out-of-division schedule. This year both the Giants and Ravens played ridiculously easy schedules — the fifth and third easiest, judged by opponents’ won-lost records. And the Ravens’ schedule was really even weaker than that: Their pathetic offense didn’t have to play against either of the NFC’s toughest defenses, New York and Philadelphia, and their defense never had to face Kurt Warner, Brian Griese, Daunte Culpepper, Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb or any of the other best quarterbacks in the league. This was truly spectacular luck, and it continued into the playoffs when they got to face the Denver Broncos without Brian Griese.
I’m not saying that the 2000 Baltimore Ravens don’t have a great defense. What I’m saying is that people are comparing and some equating them with the 1985 Bears (who gave up 185 points), and the ’85 Bears didn’t get to be the ’85 Bears without playing against Dan Marino and Joe Montana.
That’s why I’m picking the Giants to win — that and the fact that I’m a Giants fan. Kerry Collins isn’t a great passer no matter what he did against Minnesota (which was throw for more yards in a game than Y.A. Tittle ever did). But given the Giants’ excellent pass protection and superiority in wide receivers, I think he’s capable of putting more pressure on the Ravens’ defense than anyone else has all season, and the Giants’ defense matches up better with the Ravens’ offense than Ravens’ defense does with the Giants’ offense.
But both teams, together, are capable of doing great damage to the Super Bowl. If the game is filled with all the sacks, penalties, interceptions, dropped passes, blocked passes, out of bounds passes, overthrown passes, punts and holding calls that usually accompany defensive struggles, then the public will turn off no matter how close the score may stay. People always watched the Super Bowl, even if they didn’t care who won, even if it became a rout, because they were at least watching something being done, which (rightly or wrongly) is the average fan’s perception of what offense is. And if the history of football teaches us anything, it’s that the fans prefer something being done to something not being done — though maybe not fans in Baltimore.
Allen Barra's next book is "Mickey and Willie -- The Parallel Lives of Baseball's Golden Age," from Crown. More Allen Barra.
Super Bowl ads: The good, the bad and the ’80s
There were cars and babes galore. But in a game that rematched teams from four years ago, retro ruled the ads, too VIDEO
Several months ago, a 45-year-old ad executive drove home in his roomy, fuel-efficient SUV, anticipating the watery beer that awaited in his fridge, and thought, “Dammit, I used to be cool. Cool like Lloyd Dobler.” And then he went on to create the ads for the 2012 Super Bowl. Nostalgic much, Gen-X?
Sure, this year’s crop of ads featured hot babes, cute kids, funny animals and Doritos, but they were also heavily tinged with one overwhelming message: Hey, you. Yeah you, the one who once thought your band was going to be the next Love & Rockets. Can we sell you a car? Herewith, Salon’s picks for the Super Bowl’s best, the worst, and the most likely to make John Hughes roll over in his grave.
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Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.
Super Bowl: A tale of two catches
A taut, novelistic game turns in the space of three plays
New England Patriots wide receiver Wes Welker drops a pass during the second half of the NFL Super Bowl XLVI football game against the New York Giants, Sunday, Feb. 5, 2012, in Indianapolis. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum) (Credit: AP) Super Bowl 46 was a tale of two catches – one made, one dropped – that took place within the space of three plays. The catch he dropped will haunt New England Patriots flanker Wes Welker to the end of his days. The one that New York Giants’ wide receiver Mario Manningham caught led to the Giants’ fourth Vince Lombardi Trophy, and will be almost too painful for Patriots’ fans to ever watch. Four years after Giants’ receiver David Tyree’s legendary ball-on-helmet grab led to the Giants’ scintillating victory in Super Bowl 42, the Patriots just got fatally struck by Eli Manning lightning. Again.
Continue Reading CloseGary Kamiya is a Salon contributing writer. More Gary Kamiya.
How Madonna liberated America
As the pop icon prepares to play the Super Bowl, a celebration of the way she changed sexual mores forever
When Madonna takes the stage at halftime of the Super Bowl this Sunday, she’ll be the first female solo performer to do so since Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake played peek-a-boo in 2004. Ever since Nipplegate, Super Bowl programmers have avowedly played it safe, booking a string of hoary grown-man rockers such as Paul McCartney and The Boss, known quantities not prone to random disrobing.
By and large, the halftime show has become the live-performance equivalent of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, an honor bestowed long after an artist’s peak. So Madonna, once the baddest good girl or best bad girl in pop, is now safe prime-time fare? No shocker there. But even if Madonna hasn’t had a mega-hit since Justin Bieber was in diapers, that’s far from the point. Madge will be bringing two other fabulous Ms. M’s — Minaj and M.I.A. — onstage with her, which is exciting, but that’s not the point either.
Continue Reading CloseSara Marcus Sara Marcus is the author of Girls to the Front: The True Story of the Riot Grrrl Revolution." Follow her on Twitter: @thesaramarcus. More Sara Marcus.
Puppies and nostalgia will always sell
In a brand-savvy world, Super Bowl ads attract social media attention with sex and cuteness
(Credit: CNET) “If God manifested himself to us, he would do so in the form of a product advertised on TV.” –Philip K. Dick
So how did you like this year’s Super Bowl ads? You know, the ones that haven’t aired yet? The ones that have been teased, previewed, screened, deconstructed and parodied days and — in some instances, weeks — before their broadcast “premiere” during Sunday’s big game?
Which dancing and/or talking, cute, furry piece of CGI wizardry did you like best? Which retro-celebrity comeback performance? Which piece of brilliantly choreographed boomer nostalgia or crowd-sourced slapstick? What offended you more, the GoDaddy boobs or the boobs that represented the prototypical salt, trans-fat, hops-barley-and-corn-obsessed American male, circa 2012?
Continue Reading CloseJames P. Othmer is the author of the novel “The Futurist,” the memoir “Adland: Searching for the Meaning of Life on a Branded Planet” and the forthcoming thriller, “The Last Trade,” written as James Conway. More James P. Othmer.
The Super Bowl is not a job creator
Despite what civic boosters say, hosting the big game provides few long-term benefits
(Credit: AP/Michael Conroy) Roger Goodell, the commissioner of the National Football League, argued on “60 Minutes” last Sunday that the NFL is one professional organization designed to appeal to the economic interests of the little guy: Its revenue-sharing model, he said, gives a fighting chance to squads from Green Bay and Buffalo as well as to those from large media markets like New York, Los Angeles and Boston.
On the eve of the Super Bowl, Goodell was touting the familiar idea that the sport’s biggest game is a boon to economic development. But with the cost of a ticket now averaging $3,982 and 30-second television spots selling for $3.5 million, the Super Bowl can appear to be more an occasion for ostentatious excess than an engine of development.
Continue Reading CloseAlexander Heffner is a freelance journalist whose writing has appeared in the New York Times, Washington Post, and Boston Globe. More Alexander Heffner.
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