Cruise and Kidman finally split

And it was neither sexuality nor religion, the actors say; Shatner gets gorilla-groped; Boris Becker's wife threw naughty parties! Plus: Puffy is sued over rodents, and Clinton might blow for dough.

Topics: Tom Cruise, Bill Clinton, Celebrity, Charlie Sheen,

As far as I know, Russell Crowe had nothing to do with this.

Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman are making like Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid and road-tripping to Splitsville.

You heard me right.

The decade-long marriage withstood all sorts of rumors about the couple’s sexual and religious orientation, but it apparently could not withstand “the difficulties inherent in diverging careers.”

Thus, their publicist, Pat Kingsley, issued the following statement on Monday:

“Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman have announced today that they have regretfully decided to separate.

“The couple, who married in 1990, stress their great respect for each other both personally and professionally, citing the difficulties inherent in diverging careers which constantly keep them apart.

“They concluded that an amicable separation seems better for both of them for this time.”

It is not yet known who will get custody of the couple’s two adopted children, Isabella and Connor Anthony. Or, for that matter, of Cruise’s beard.

Kidding. Kidding!

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Why I love the Scottish Daily Record

“Actor William Shatner was groped by a gorilla while shooting an advert highlighting endangered species. The animal-loving ‘Star Trek’ hero tried to put the ape at ease by telling her ‘I love you.’ The gorilla responded by grabbing his crotch.”

No attribution. No further information. No trashier paper in the world …

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Unless you count the U.K. Sun

And you thought that sperm heist story was wacky …

Now Boris Becker has apparently seen fit to share with the world the reason his marriage broke up: His wife, Barbara, belonged to a “Tits and Ass Club,” a group that met monthly to share their (presumably, sexual) fantasies.

“It was Munich’s 10 most famous women. They meet and have fantasies,” the tennis star explained, according to the U.K. Sun. “Our house was always full for parties.”

No, I don’t think that’s what happened to Tom and Nicole …

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Porn-free but marked

Regrets? Charlie Sheen has a few. Not the sex with prostitutes and porn stars or the drug addiction and alcoholism that got so bad at one point, he says, that he “lost the use of my legs.”

No, those things have made Sheen the “spiritual person” he claims he is today.

But if the “Spin City” star had it all to do over again, he says, he might forgo that tattoo that looks like a note pinned to his chest that says, “Back in 15 Minutes.”

“I have 12 tattoos, and I wish I hadn’t gotten so many now,” Sheen tells the upcoming issue of Gear. “It’s hard when you have to take your shirt off — two hours in makeup and it doesn’t cover them.”

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Has cat-scratch fever got the best of him?

“To think that I’m hateful is preposterous. I’m the most compassionate, caring, activist, generous … (person) that ever played a guitar.”

– Rocker/hunter Ted Nugent, speaking up in his own defense after the mayor of Omaha, Neb., backed away from plans to give him a key to the city in light of protests from animal-rights activists.

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Juicy bits

Everyone wants a piece of the Puffster. Looks like Puff Daddy has yet another legal problem on his hands: He’s being sued by a woman who claims the Beverly Hills, Calif., home she rented from him (for the low, low price of $25,000 a month) was “infested with insects, rodents and vermin.” What’s more, Inge Bongo alleges in a lawsuit filed last week, onaccounta a broken lock on the house’s front door she had to use a dog door to come and go. But Puffy’s put-upon publicist says Bongo’s barking up the wrong tree. The lawsuit, she tells the Associated Press, is “completely frivolous,” adding that Bongo owes Landlord Puff $90,000 in back rent and damage. “If anyone had a right to sue, it was Mr. Combs,” she said.

Bill Clinton: sax maniac? The erstwhile POTUS has reportedly been offered $250,000 to play saxophone later this month at the San Remo Song Festival in Italy. “He’s been invited to that but we haven’t made a final decision,” his aide Jake Siewert told the Hollywood Reporter. He better not blow it.

It’s official: Regis Philbin has a new sidekick: “All My Children” star Kelly Ripa. “She’s here and she ain’t leavin’!” Philbin announced on his show Monday morning, confirming rumors that Ripa had been selected to permanently warm Kathie Lee’s old chair. Now you’ll have a new reason not to tune in.

A little tension beneath the face paint? Kiss members Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley are having a little public tiff with the band’s drummer Peter Criss. At issue: money. “It is unfortunate that Gene and Paul chose to terminate their association with me for the Japan and Australia tour dates,” Criss said after a notice was posted on the band’s Web site announcing that another drummer would replace Criss on the band’s upcoming tour. “I am healthy and will truly miss performing.” He wants to rock ‘n’ roll all night — and party every day.

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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

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