2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Topics: Entertainment News
1. “Gimme Shelter,” the Rolling Stones
Foreboding and terror, and a life hanging off the edge of a guitar solo. Bonus: Merry Clayton’s ululation of horror at song’s end.
2. “Hellhound on My Trail,” Robert Johnson
Like the man said, just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean you don’t have the devil on your ass.
3. “Every Breath You Take,” the Police
Beneath its sweet arrangement and lilting rhythm guitar line lies an elegant and powerful hymn to stalking.
4. “Billie Jean,” Michael Jackson
Under the nagging, irresistible backbeat of this epochal single, Jackson tells a tale of a one-night stand gone wrong. “The kid is not my son!” the singer yelps. Two things elevate it above a superstar’s paranoid fantasy: First, there’s the nightmarish tinge of the lyrics, in which the trial, a dream and the singer’s memories of the night in question blur and intermingle. (“His eyes were like mine,” Jackson marvels — but it’s not clear if it’s a dream or not at that point.) And, second, there is the song’s eerie prescience; in the end, it’s a story about a superstar’s paranoid fantasy become horribly real.
5. “I Heard It Though the Grapevine,” Marvin Gaye
What’s worse than getting dumped? Hearing it from a third party! Motown’s Berry Gordy gave this ominous Norman Whitfield/Barrett Strong composition to Gladys Knight over Gaye’s objections; Gaye persisted even after Knight had a big hit with it. Gordy finally relented, and Gaye gave the song a malevolent reading and turned it into a worldwide smash — one of the most popular singles of all time.
6. “Mind Playin’ Tricks on Me,” Geto Boys
This astonishing, unforgettable song ties a scratchy old LP sample to a straightforward but blistering narrative that watches the singer struggle — unsuccessfully — to get out of a vortex of drugs, violence and paranoia.
7. “Private Eyes,” Daryl Hall and John Oates
“Private eyes, they’re watching you,” the two men sing. “They see your every move.” No they don’t. In 1981, only a few of us were being watched by private eyes. These two were incredibly paranoid to turn this assertion into a hit song.
8. “Rigoletto,” Giuseppe Verdi
“Tutti … contro me … contro me!!” All of you … against me … against me.” ‘Nuff said.
9. “I Put a Spell on You,” Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
This is a paranoia-inducing song. “I put a spell on you,” sings Hawkins, “because you’re mine.”
10. “Visions of Johanna,” Bob Dylan
A gentle but still disturbing fever dream: “Ain’t it just like the night,” Dylan asks, “to play tricks when you’re trying to be so quiet?”
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.