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Monday, Mar 19, 2001 8:19 PM UTC

A teacher’s nightmare

Elementary school kids see porn instead of a dinosaur movie, thanks to a forgetful janitor.

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Topics: Sex, Pornography, Love and Sex,

It was a routine Monday in the classroom full of third-graders at Roosevelt Elementary School in Kenosha, Wis. The kids were fresh from the weekend, and looking forward to watching a video about dinosaurs. Their teacher had already shown them part of the tape on Friday, and now they were to see the rest of the show, and marvel at the fascinating ancient world of velociraptors and brontosaurs. But when the teacher popped the tape into the VCR, the children’s eyeballs were suddenly scorched by a 15-second burst of hardcore pornography. The inadvertent sex lesson came courtesy of a horny janitor, who had forgotten to remove the porn tape.

According to James Twomey, former member of the Kenosha Unified School Board, and parent of a child who witnessed the X-rated footage, the teacher responded quickly to the situation, diving at the machine and hitting the stop button.

“This is an elementary school teacher’s worst nightmare,” Twomey told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Blame was eventually placed on a school custodian, who took advantage of the empty school over the weekend to watch some porn on the classroom’s VCR. Unfortunately, the broom-wielding pornhound ended up taking home the wrong tape when he was finished, leaving the steamy scenes sitting in the VCR. When the teacher started class Monday, she assumed the dino tape was still cued up, and pushed play.

School administrators swung into action, and sent e-mails notifying members of the Kenosha school board. However, nobody bothered to alert the parents of the children, which is a violation of school policy. Board members have promised to look into the matter.

News reports do not reveal the title of the porn film nor its stars, but Twomey did mention to reporters that when the images of fornication flashed onto the screen, “the kids let out an ‘ooh’ sound.”

The janitor has resigned from his job.

Jack Boulware is a writer in San Francisco and author of "San Francisco Bizarro" and "Sex American Style." More Jack Boulware.

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