Janet Jackson: “I have sex in my head”

Singer says parents bred like bunnies; Christy Turlington wants to breed like Jacksons. Plus: Angelina wears Billy Bob's blood!

Topics: Celebrity,

Do you think Janet Jackson is a nasty girl?

One factor to consider: She thinks about sex … constantly.

“Modern pop music, and especially rap, often features violence,” she tells the German magazine Der Spiegel. “So why not sing about sex instead? After all, I have sex in my head all the time.”

And she has more than the action in her own bed to consider. She’s also been mulling over her parents’ sex life, as she imagines it.

Sure, they were deeply religious people, she says, but “in the end, they had nine children. They must have been at it like rabbits.”

‘Cause you don’t get nine babies by having sex in your head.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Rambo-size regrets

“If I were watching a home movie of my life, I would shake my head in despair and wonderment … it’s a comedy of errors.”

Sylvester Stallone, reflecting on his feckless youth in Parade.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Get out your mats

Christy Turlington and Ed Burns aren’t married yet (that’ll happen this fall), but already the yoga-loving supermodel’s got plans — big plans — to birth a passel of “little yogis.”

“I plan — as far as anyone can plan these things — to have children. At least four if not five,” Turlington told the German edition of Vogue magazine.

She plans to raise them as strict vegetarians and apparently carries the firm belief that the family that downward-dogs together, stays together.

“The earlier I bring them to meditation the better,” she says. “I want my children to experience that.”

And she wouldn’t mind if the guests at her wedding experience that either.

“A friend of mine is designing a wedding dress for me. It will be traditional,” she says, “but guests will be welcome to come in saris.”

Because love is never having to say your sari’s not appropriate attire?

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Xing went the strings of his heart

“On ecstasy, Joan Rivers looks like Pamela Anderson, so imagine what Pamela Anderson looked like.”

Tommy Lee on how he fell in love with ex-wife Pamela Anderson at first sight when he was drunk on champagne and high on ecstasy.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Liver giver

Maybe Garth Brooks should start wearing a white hat.

The country singer is being pegged as a full-fledged hero after volunteering to donate a part of his liver to his ailing friend and fellow musician Chris LeDoux.

Even though Brooks’ liver was deemed too small to make the donation, LeDoux (who has a new liver from another donor) tells USA Today he’s “blown away” by his buddy’s big heart.

“I wouldn’t do that for a friend. I’d pray for them, but, holy cow, for him to offer a piece of himself like that,” says LeDoux. “Even if he wasn’t able to do it, for him to go through everything he went through just to do this, wow, I’m amazed.”

In other words, it’s not the size of the organ …

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Juicy bits

Bond, black Bond? Forget Russell Crowe and all the rest of the white guys rumored to be in the running to replace Pierce Brosnan as James Bond. Roger Moore says he knows the perfect actor to take over the role of 007: Cuba Gooding Jr. Moore says it’s high time for a black actor to be cast in the role. Here’s wishing the producers would agree and show Gooding the money.

Didn’t think Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton could shock you any more with their weird ways? Well, the New York Post has just revealed that Angie wears a glass ball pendant around her neck containing drops of Billy Bob’s blood. She refused to remove the charm during a recent photo shoot, growling, “This is my husband’s blood!” There’s a joke about loving in vein in there somewhere. And another one about being a drip …

I don’t know what you were planning to give your mom for Mother’s Day, but whatever it is, you’d be hard-pressed to top the birthday gift Ang Lee just presented to his mom: the Oscar he won for “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” Examining the gift, Lee’s mom proclaimed it to be “adorable.” And you thought those scented soaps seemed thoughtful.

If you’re still scraping coins together in hopes of buying Madonna’s sweat-stained bra, it’s too late. An unnamed male fan has snagged the Material Girl’s leather bustier for a cool $13,800. Don’t worry. Probably wasn’t your size anyway …

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • 1 of 11
  • Close
  • Fullscreen
  • Thumbnails

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Beautiful Darkness by Fabien Vehlmann & Kerascoët
    Kerascoët's lovely, delicate pen-and-watercolor art -- all intricate botanicals, big eyes and flowing hair -- gives this fairy story a deceptively pretty finish. You find out quickly, however, that these are the heartless and heedless fairies of folk legend, not the sentimental sprites beloved by the Victorians and Disney fans. A host of tiny hominid creatures must learn to survive in the forest after fleeing their former home -- a little girl who lies dead in the woods. The main character, Aurora, tries to organize the group into a community, but most of her cohort is too capricious, lazy and selfish to participate for long. There's no real moral to this story, which is refreshing in itself, beyond the perpetual lessons that life is hard and you have to be careful whom you trust. Never has ugly truth been given a prettier face.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Climate Changed: A Personal Journey Through the Science by Philippe Squarzoni
    Squarzoni is a French cartoonist who makes nonfiction graphic novels about contemporary issues and politics. While finishing up a book about France under Jacques Chirac, he realized that when it came to environmental policy, he didn't know what he was talking about. "Climate Changed" is the result of his efforts to understand what has been happening to the planet, a striking combination of memoir and data that ruminates on a notoriously elusive, difficult and even imponderable subject. Panels of talking heads dispensing information (or Squarzoni discussing the issues with his partner) are juxtaposed with detailed and meticulous yet lyrical scenes from the author's childhood, the countryside where he takes a holiday and a visit to New York. He uses his own unreachable past as a way to grasp the imminent transformation of the Earth. The result is both enlightening and unexpectedly moving.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Here by Richard McGuire
    A six-page version of this innovative work by a regular contributor to the New Yorker first appeared in RAW magazine 25 years ago. Each two-page spread depicts a single place, sometimes occupied by a corner of a room, over the course of 4 billion years. The oldest image is a blur of pink and purple gases; others depict hazmat-suited explorers from 300 years in the future. Inset images show the changing decor and inhabitants of the house throughout its existence: family photos, quarrels, kids in Halloween costumes, a woman reading a book, a cat walking across the floor. The cumulative effect is serene and ravishing, an intimation of the immensity of time and the wonder embodied in the humblest things.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Kill My Mother by Jules Feiffer
    The legendary Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist delivers his debut graphic novel at 85, a deliriously over-the-top blend of classic movie noir and melodrama that roams from chiaroscuro Bay City to Hollywood to a USO gig in the Pacific theater of World War II. There's a burnt-out drunk of a private eye, but the story is soon commandeered by a multigenerational collection of ferocious women, including a mysterious chanteuse who never speaks, a radio comedy writer who makes a childhood friend the butt of a hit series and a ruthless dame intent on making her whiny coward of a husband into a star. There are disguises, musical numbers and plenty of gunfights, but the drawing is the main attraction. Nobody convey's bodies in motion more thrillingly than Feiffer, whether they're dancing, running or duking it out. The kid has promise.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    The Motherless Oven by Rob Davis
    This is a weird one, but in the nervy surreal way that word-playful novels like "A Clockwork Orange" or "Ulysses" are weird. The main character, a teenage schoolboy named Scarper Lee, lives in a world where it rains knives and people make their own parents, contraptions that can be anything from a tiny figurine stashable in a pocket to biomorphic boiler-like entities that seem to have escaped from Dr. Seuss' nightmares. Their homes are crammed with gadgets they call gods and instead of TV they watch a hulu-hoop-size wheel of repeating images that changes with the day of the week. They also know their own "death day," and Scarper's is coming up fast. Maybe that's why he runs off with the new girl at school, a real troublemaker, and the obscurely dysfunctional Castro, whose mother is a cageful of talking parakeets. A solid towline of teenage angst holds this manically inventive vision together, and proves that some graphic novels can rival the text-only kind at their own game.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    NOBROW 9: It's Oh So Quiet
    For each issue, the anthology magazine put out by this adventurous U.K.-based publisher of independent graphic design, illustration and comics gives 45 artists a four-color palette and a theme. In the ninth issue, the theme is silence, and the results are magnificent and full of surprises. The comics, each told in images only, range from atmospheric to trippy to jokey to melancholy to epic to creepy. But the two-page illustrations are even more powerful, even if it's not always easy to see how they pertain to the overall concept of silence. Well, except perhaps for the fact that so many of them left me utterly dumbstruck with visual delight.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Over Easy by Mimi Pond
    When Pond was a broke art student in the 1970s, she took a job at a neighborhood breakfast spot in Oakland, a place with good food, splendid coffee and an endlessly entertaining crew of short-order cooks, waitresses, dishwashers and regular customers. This graphic memoir, influenced by the work of Pond's friend, Alison Bechdel, captures the funky ethos of the time, when hippies, punks and disco aficionados mingled in a Bay Area at the height of its eccentricity. The staff of the Imperial Cafe were forever swapping wisecracks and hopping in and out of each other's beds, which makes them more or less like every restaurant team in history. There's an intoxicating esprit de corps to a well-run everyday joint like the Imperial Cafe, and never has the delight in being part of it been more winningly portrayed.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    The Shadow Hero by Gene Luen Yang and Sonny Liew
    You don't have to be a superhero fan to be utterly charmed by Yang and Liew's revival of a little-known character created in the 1940s by the cartoonist Chu Hing. This version of the Green Turtle, however, is rich in characterization, comedy and luscious period detail from the Chinatown of "San Incendio" (a ringer for San Francisco). Hank, son of a mild-mannered grocer, would like to follow in his father's footsteps, but his restless mother (the book's best character and drawn with masterful nuance by Liew) has other ideas after her thrilling encounter with a superhero. Yang's story effortlessly folds pathos into humor without stooping to either slapstick or cheap "darkness." This is that rare tribute that far surpasses the thing it celebrates.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Shoplifter by Michael Cho
    Corinna Park, former English major, works, unhappily, in a Toronto advertising agency. When the dissatisfaction of the past five years begins to oppress her, she lets off steam by pilfering magazines from a local convenience store. Cho's moody character study is as much about city life as it is about Corinna. He depicts her falling asleep in front of the TV in her condo, brooding on the subway, roaming the crowded streets after a budding romance goes awry. Like a great short story, this is a simple tale of a young woman figuring out how to get her life back, but if feels as if it contains so much of contemporary existence -- its comforts, its loneliness, its self-deceptions -- suspended in wintery amber.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Through the Woods by Emily Carroll
    This collection of archetypal horror, fairy and ghost stories, all about young girls, comes lushly decked in Carroll's inky black, snowy white and blood-scarlet art. A young bride hears her predecessor's bones singing from under the floorboards, two friends make the mistake of pretending to summon the spirits of the dead, a family of orphaned siblings disappears one by one into the winter nights. Carroll's color-saturated images can be jagged, ornate and gruesome, but she also knows how to chill with absence, shadows and a single staring eye. Literary readers who cherish the work of Kelly Link or the late Angela Carter's collection, "The Bloody Chamber," will adore the violent beauty on these pages.

  • Recent Slide Shows



Comment Preview

Your name will appear as username ( settings | log out )

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> <strong> <i> <blockquote>