Television
Blue Glow
Salon's TV picks for Monday, April 30, 2001
Series
Kathy Baker (“Picket Fences”) is back working for David E. Kelley when she guests on Boston Public (8 p.m., Fox). On 7th Heaven (8 p.m., WB), Annie can’t hold her jealousy in check when Eric counsels a flirtatious church member. Doug, Carrie and Arthur have an awkward visit with Doug’s parents during an airport layover on The King of Queens (8 p.m., CBS). Ally McBeal (9 p.m., Fox) has an all-star “Ally turns 30″ episode featuring Sting as himself. It seems Der Stingle is being sued by a husband (Paul Reubens) whose wife (Cheri Oteri) can’t stop thinking about the dreamy former Police frontman. Sting and Robert Downey Jr. sing Ally a birthday duet, which may well end up being Downey’s swan song. On Everybody Loves Raymond (9 p.m., CBS), Marie brings Robert’s two ex-girlfriends together, so he can see what he could have had.
Specials
It’s Bruce Willis against an asteroid in the 1998 disaster flick Armageddon (8 p.m., ABC), which is having its network TV premiere. Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler and Billy Bob Thornton co-star.
Sports
NBA playoffs:
Spurs at Timberwolves, Game 4 (TNT, time TBA)
NHL playoffs:
Sabres at Penguins, Game 3 (7 p.m., ESPN2)
Avalanche at Kings, Game 3 (9:30 p.m., ESPN)
Talk
Rosie O’Donnell (syndicated) John Goodman
David Letterman (CBS) Kirsten Dunst, Outkast, “Survivor” castoff Elisabeth Filarski
Jay Leno (NBC) Brendan Fraser, Spencer Tunick
Politically Incorrect (ABC) Tommy Davidson, Deborah Norville
Conan O’Brien (NBC) Mike Myers, Ed Burns (rerun)
All times Eastern unless noted.
Joyce Millman is a writer living in the Bay Area. More Joyce Millman.
Ernest Hemingway made silly
HBO's unintentionally hilarious "Hemingway & Gellhorn" gets everything disastrously wrong
Nicole Kidman and Clive Owen in "Hemingway & Gellhorn" Here’s something you should consider doing before watching HBO’s inadvertent comedy “Hemingway & Gellhorn,” a disastrous two-and-a-half-hour CliffsNotes on the passionate, dysfunctional love affair between Ernest Hemingway (Clive Owen) and his third wife, the war correspondent Martha Gellhorn (Nicole Kidman), which airs Monday night. Find some Hemingway — take it off the shelf, download it to a Kindle, load a page of “The Sun Also Rises” onto your computer via Google books — and leave it within arm’s reach. You are going to want to read from it at fairly regular intervals to remind yourself that though he may have been a drunk, a brute and a womanizer, Ernest Hemingway was not a complete and total idiot. And then you can also use it to shield your eyes from the movie’s myriad crimes against sepia, its extensive use of what appear to be Instagram photo effects, the hot pink blood, Metallica’s Lars Ulrich in a beret, and the scene toward the end of the film in which Kidman’s face is superimposed over real footage of emaciated bodies at Auschwitz and Dachau.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
“American Idol”: Riveting despite itself
We all knew Phillip Phillips would win. Yes, the judges are nuts. So why did I feel real emotion anyway?
The final episode of any season of “American Idol” is always a smiling show of force, a confetti-laden massacre of time. After a nearly 40-episode season, along comes the gargantuan finale, an enormous spectacle that contains exactly one minute of real content — when the winners are announced — and two-plus hours of filler. Last night’s episode was nominally about who would be declared the winner of the 11thseason of “Idol” — Phillip Phillips, the humorously named yet handsome guitarist with a twang in his voice and shirts cut to display exactly the appropriate sliver of chest hair, or the huge-voiced, personality-less 16-year old Jessica Sanchez. But sleepily good-looking white guys (and Scotty McCreery) have won the last four seasons of “Idol,” and Phillips was pretty much a lock before the night even began. And so it is a commendation to the near-military professionalism of “Idol” that somehow, for the last half-hour or so, I was riveted to the screen.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
More sex and disasters, please
TV season finales used to be about crazy couplings and exciting explosions. Where did the fun go?
Gabriel Mann and Emily VanCamp in "Revenge" There are a few times of year when network television can typically be relied upon to be as interesting as cable: The fall, when the networks vomit out dozens of new programs; February, when the networks cough up a dozen or so more; and May, when all the series that have survived the year try to end in spectacular fashion. During this last period, season-finale time, couples couple, get married and have babies; characters quit, get fired and die; disasters occur; buildings explode; guns blaze; hatches are discovered and protagonists are left dangling off cliffs, both actual and metaphorical. It’s the TV equivalent of blockbuster season, and like blockbuster season, it can and should be fun. Though in recent years cable shows have been responsible for a disproportionate number of the “Holy crap, did that just happen?!” finales (hello, Gus Fring and his brand-new face!), network shows are usually good for at least some insanity, some drama, some transcendent event that will get people talking around the storied watercooler. Not this year. Nope, this year, season finale season has been a bust.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
As Kristen Wiig departs “SNL,” what’s next for women?
"Saturday Night Live" says goodbye to a star -- and leaves late night without a queen
Mick Jagger and Kristen Wiig during the season finale of "Saturday Night Live" What, you didn’t get to dance with Mick Jagger, hug Jon Hamm and be serenaded by Arcade Fire the last time you left a job? I guess you’re not Kristen Wiig.
After seven years on “SNL,” Wiig said goodbye on Saturday night’s season finale that will go down as one of the sweetest, most choked-up moments on the show since Steve Martin said goodbye to Gilda Radner on the day of her death almost exactly 23 years earlier.
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Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.
What’s “Community” without Dan Harmon?
Less ambitious shows might survive losing a creator. But firing the prickly showrunner bodes poorly for next season
Dan Harmon (Credit: AP/Matt Sayles) A recent episode of NBC’s “Community” floated the possibility — debunked by episode’s end — that the seven main characters had not spent the previous three years navigating life, each other and paintball fights at Greendale Community College, but instead, had only been imagining them. In the episode, the recently expelled Greendale Seven found themselves in a group therapy session with a nefarious shrink, keen to keep them away from their college using any psychological means necessary. The therapist temporarily convinced them they had spent the previous years in a mental institution and that everything they remembered happening at school, except their friendship, had been a collective fantasy, a “shared psychosis” dreamed up in the asylum.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
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