A nation loses its lunch

Billy Bob still bleeding and babbling for Angelina; Pitt says Aniston can bed Steven Tyler. Plus: Kidman steps on Cruise (that's gotta hurt!)

Topics: Tom Cruise, Celebrity, Jennifer Aniston, Elizabeth Taylor,

If Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie don’t stop tapping into their veins every five minutes to collect vials of blood, the American Red Cross is gonna want a piece of the bloody action.

As we all know by now, the duo exchanged vials of blood some time ago so that each could wear a piece of the other in an amulet around his or her neck. (Awww.)

But necklace or no necklace, Billy Bob apparently did not feel that he’d shed quite enough bodily fluids to express the depths of his love, so he went back in for more — as a special surprise for Angie.

And this time, he let his artistic impulses roam free.

“For our anniversary, I had a certificate drawn up that states I can never leave her for eternity,” he says in the upcoming issue of Jane magazine. “It has the seal of the great state of Louisiana on it.” The latter came courtesy of a notary public, who came to the Baton Rouge set Thornton was working to make it “official.”

“I signed it in my own blood with a paintbrush,” the actor says with pride.

It was, he muses, the most romantic thing he’s done for Angie in some time, though the poor notary public didn’t quite see it that way. When Thornton broke out his ink substitute, he says, “I think she almost passed out.”

Maybe next time he should get it notarized by a phlebotomist.

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Breaking up is hard to do …

“Every relationship ends, until maybe you find one that lasts forever.”

Penélope Cruz, Tom Cruise’s current squeeze, on the fleeting nature of love, in Parade.

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But it does have its advantages

“I can wear heels now.”

Nicole Kidman on the bright side of her breakup with Tom Cruise, on “Late Night With David Letterman.”

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Eeeeeeew!

Reason No. 101 to hope that you can’t believe everything you read in the National Enquirer.

The tabloid is reporting that Elizabeth Taylor is hot and heavy with … Jeff Goldblum?



During a recent meal out together at L.A.’s Le Dome restaurant, a “fellow diner” tells the Enquirer, “They were cooing to each other and playing footsie under the table like young lovers. Jeff delicately kissed each of Elizabeth’s fingers and whispered sweet nothings to her. He was staring into her eyes like there was no one else in the room.”

Taylor, for her part, was said to be “blushing and giggling uncontrollably.”

“Jeff even acted like the waiter was interrupting their dinner,” said the source.

Please somebody tell me they were just rehearsing a scene …

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Dream on …

Note to Steven Tyler: If you’re interested in bedding Jennifer Aniston, walk this way.

Aniston says she and her hubs, Brad Pitt, have made a “Friends”-esque deal whereby she is allowed to sleep with the lippy Aerosmith singer, no questions asked.

“He is the one person that Brad says I can have if the opportunity presents itself,” Aniston says in the upcoming issue of Elle. “I don’t know how old the man is, but he’s phenomenal, that energy.”

Pitt doesn’t have an approved list, she says, adding, “Steven Tyler has just been our joke for a long time.”

Yeah, well, theirs and everyone else’s.

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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

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