2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Ellen is photographed for a magazine spread on dot-com has-beens on The Ellen Show (8 p.m. Fri., CBS). Sam the artist (Steven Weber) is back in Judy’s life on Once and Again (10 p.m. Fri., ABC). Drew Barrymore hosts Saturday Night Live (11:30 p.m. Sat., NBC) with music from Macy Gray. Inside the Actors Studio (7 p.m. ET/ 8 PT, Sun., Bravo) has a two-hour special celebrating its 100th episode. Gene Hackman is the guest. Aaliyah is the subject of both E! True Hollywood Story (8 p.m. Sun., E!) and Behind the Music (9 p.m. Sun., VH1). The new sitcom Men, Women and Dogs (8:30 p.m. Sun., WB) stars Bill Bellamy one of a group of friends who tries to get lucky in a dog park. Sydney goes up against her arch-nemesis, a female Russian agent, on Alias (9 p.m. Sun., ABC). Two college pals, one British and one American, share a New York bachelor pad in the new sitcom Off Centre (9:30 p.m. Sun., WB). Sounds almost as good as “Men, Women and Dogs.” Larry tries to set up an HBO project for Julia Louis-Dreyfus on Curb Your Enthusiasm (10:15 Sun., HBO). It won’t work out. It never does. But the way it won’t work out will be brilliant.
The new cable movie Shot in the Heart (9 p.m. Sat., HBO) is an adaptation of Mikal Gilmore’s book about his brother, notorious executed killer Gary Gilmore. Giovanni Ribisi and Elias Koteas star. Barry Levinson and Tom Fontana are the executive producers. The half-documentary, half-TV movie Surviving “Gilligan’s Island” (9 p.m. Sun., CBS) looks back at the three-hour cruise, with actors re-creating scenes from the sitcom and original stars Bob Denver, Dawn Wells and Russell Johnson providing on-camera insight.
Astros at Braves (4 p.m. Fri., Fox; 1 p.m. Sat. and Sun., Fox Family or FX)
Diamondbacks at Cardinals (8 p.m. Fri., Fox Family; 1 p.m. Sat., FX)
Mariners at Indians (4 p.m. Sat., Fox or Fox Family; 1 p.m. Sun., FX or Fox Family)
Yankees at A’s (7:30 p.m. Sat., Fox; 4:30 p.m. Sun., Fox)
Ravens at Packers, Browns at Bengals, Steelers at Chiefs, Chargers at Patriots (1 p.m. Sun., CBS)
Buccaneers at Titans, Giants at Rams, Lions at Vikings, Saints at Panthers, 49ers at Falcons or Cardinals at Bears (1 p.m. Sun., Fox)
Dolphins at Jets or Broncos at Seahawks (4 p.m. Sun., CBS)
Raiders at Colts (8:30 p.m. Sun., ESPN)
Rosie O’Donnell (syndicated) Tim Robbins, James Cromwell
David Letterman (CBS) Rose McGowan, Jim Gaffigan, Sarah Vowell
Jay Leno (NBC) James Woods, Ozzy Osbourne
Politically Incorrect (ABC) Martin Short, Odetta
Conan O’Brien (NBC) Steve Harvey, Tenacious D
Craig Kilborn (CBS) Joey Fatone, Laura Harring
All times Eastern unless noted.
Joyce Millman is a writer living in the Bay Area.More Joyce Millman.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.