SALON

Monday, Oct 29, 2001 4:10 PM UTC

Sigh hard

Bruce Willis moonlights as a woeful bachelor; Bono and Orrin Hatch are buds! Plus: Nobody wants to dine with Jacko; and Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson with child?

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Topics: Celebrity, Michael Jackson, Bono, Britney Spears,

Someone really needs to slip Bruce Willis a couple of happy pills. He’s sounding more and more down every day.

Recently, the “Die Hard” star announced his intention to give up action flicks. Now, he says he’s ready to give up dating, too.

“It’s different for me because I’ve got ‘jackpot’ stamped on my forehead,” Willis told Britain’s Radio 1. “So it’s always difficult to know. I think that you cannot underestimate the allure of the cult of fame … I would like to be judged or chosen because of who I am as a human being. Not because of the fame.”

But Demi Moore’s ex suspects the fault, dear Bruce fans, is not in his star status, but in himself.

“In the last 20 years of relationships, I would meet someone and mistake infatuation for love,” he says. “We’d just hang on real tight and jump off the cliff with our eyes closed — and pray that we don’t crash into the rocks that are always there. I’m trying a different way now.”

A rope ladder?

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Make new friends, but keep the old

“It’s not my intention to leave my young fans. I just want an older generation to pick up on it as well.”

– Britney Spears on her naked attempt to appeal to grownups with hew new album, “Britney,” on Sonicnet.com.

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What more in the name of love?

Speaking of new friends, Bono and Sen. Orrin Hatch are going public with details of their new best buddyship.

The senator from Utah and the rock star from Ireland apparently hit it off during a recent get-together, so much so that Hatch asked Bono to give him an opinion on the patriotic gospel songs Hatch writes and records.

And? Bono thought Hatch’s tunes “felt like a hit.”

But the name “Hatch” itself might be a hitch, according to the U2 front man. “I told him he’d have to change his name” if he wanted to make it really big, he said.

And what, pray tell, did Bono suggest? “Johnny Trapdoor.”

Well, what do you expect from a one-named man who shares the stage with a fellow called The Edge?

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Not only alive, but joking

“I now have scars all over my stomach — it looks like I have a 16 pack.”

– Supermodel Nikki Taylor, who nearly died from internal injuries sustained in a car accident last April, on the scars she’s collected on the road to recovery, in Us Weekly.

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Juicy bits

Have Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock skipped right from dating to procreating? Both the New York Daily News and the New York Post are reporting that the unlikely duo may well have a bun in the oven. Neither star’s camp is apparently confirming at the moment, but a source did tell the MX news service that both Anderson, who has two sons, and Rock, who has one son, “seem tremendously happy about it.” Has anyone contacted Tommy Lee to find out how he feels?

Speaking of squeamishness, a new poll conducted by Pizza Hut has determined that not one American over 65 surveyed would be interested in eating pizza with Michael Jackson. Whether they’re more concerned about losing their lunch or their teeth is anyone’s guess.

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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

More Amy Reiter.

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