Salon Home
Topic

Sex

Wednesday, Jan 23, 2002 8:39 PM UTC2002-01-23T20:39:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Sex without rules

Call it what you will, our version of polyamory is both freeing and anxiety-producing.

Sex without rules
Topics:,

To many young people, at least in San Francisco, the term “body-fluid monogamous” — with its mellifluous, lilting scansion — is a highly romantic catchphrase. It implies not the more traditional, sexual monogamy, but rather an almost heartbreaking trust in a cruel and dangerous world of sexually transmitted diseases. It means that you trust your partner enough to believe he’ll always use a condom when sleeping with someone else (and vice versa).

The term “polyamorous,” while also indicative of a relationship that permits multiple sexual partners, is fraught with threats both physical and emotional, and for me it’s a much more difficult word to negotiate.

But I try. My current relationship is both body-fluid-monogamous and polyamorous, and I lose a lot of sleep over it (and not for any good reasons). I don’t always know if I want an open relationship, or if I just want to want one. Ideologically an open relationship is in tune with my belief in personal freedom (which I chalk up to way too much Ayn Rand at a delicate age), but my emotions, often irrational and illogical, have been known to trump my ideological idealism.

Continue Reading

Veronica Hayes is a writer in California.  More Veronica Hayes

Tuesday, Jan 31, 2012 8:35 PM UTC2012-01-31T20:35:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

“House” gets asexuality wrong

In a TV first, the Fox drama introduces asexual characters -- only to blame their identity on a medical condition

house4

 (Credit: Fox)

Last week’s episode of “House” marked the first time a major TV network featured self-identified asexual characters. But the asexuality community isn’t exactly celebrating this breakthrough; in fact, many are petitioning Fox executives in outrage.

That’s because the episode ends — spoiler alert! — with the revelation that the characters aren’t asexual after all.

When the show’s cantankerous lead, Dr. Gregory House, learns that his colleague has a female patient who identifies as asexual, and is married to an “asexual” man, he bets him $100 that he can find “a medical reason why she doesn’t want to have sex.” Through his signature unethical approach, House manages to run some tests on the husband under the guise of administering a flu shot. He finds that the man has a pituitary tumor that’s killing his sex drive. Then comes the ultimate reveal: The wife — or “giant pool of algae,” as House calls her — is just pretending to be asexual to make her husband happy.

Continue Reading
Tracy Clark-Flory

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter.  More Tracy Clark-Flory

Friday, Jan 27, 2012 1:00 AM UTC2012-01-27T01:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

I’m fixated on my wife’s past

After 25 years of marriage, a man finds himself suddenly obsessing about his partner's sexual history

jealous

 (Credit: brushingup via Shutterstock)

Help! I’ve been married for nearly 25 years, and I can’t stop obsessing over my wife’s past sexual history.

When we first started seeing each other, she was married, I was married and we were both having affairs with other people. She told me in very exquisite detail about many — if not all — of her sexual adventures (many of them extramarital with married men). She went into great detail about how affairs started, when, where, the type of sex performed (oral/anal) with each man. Her sexual experience was far greater than mine.

Continue Reading
Tracy Clark-Flory

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter.  More Tracy Clark-Flory

Sunday, Jan 22, 2012 7:00 PM UTC2012-01-22T19:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

The invention of the heterosexual

The history of straightness is much shorter than you'd think. An expert explains its origins

A detail from the cover of "Straight"

A detail from the cover of "Straight"

Topics:, ,

If you met Hanne Blank and her partner on the street, you might have a lot of trouble classifying them. While Blank looks like a feminine woman, her partner is extremely androgynous, with little to no facial hair and a fine smooth complexion. Hanne’s partner is neither fully male, nor fully female; he was born with an unconventional set of chromosomes, XXY, that provide him with both male genitalia and feminine characteristics. As a result, Blank’s partner has been mistaken for a gay woman, a straight man, a transman — and their relationship has been classified as gay, straight and everything in between.

Continue Reading

Thomas Rogers is Salon's deputy arts editor.   More Thomas Rogers

Saturday, Jan 21, 2012 8:00 PM UTC2012-01-21T20:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Our successful open marriage

My husband and I may seem strange for wanting multiple partners. To my kids, this is what normal looks like

Our open marriage works

 (Credit: Dmitri Mikitenko via Shutterstock)

I spent a recent weekend up in Maine with my girlfriend and our three kids. We went on long canoe trips, made mountains of buttery waffles, and read Rainbow Fairy books aloud till the words blurred together on the page. When the kids had gone to bed and the house was quiet, we crawled into bed and had sex so hot I thought the sheets might catch fire.

When I got home, I told my husband all about it.

My marriage is open. It’s also happy and stable. After I shared our mountain adventures, he filled me in on the highlights of his weekend: a small triumph at work, some quality time with his girlfriend, a successful home repair. We curled up at the end of the night, watched some old “Dr. Who” episodes and went to sleep in each other’s arms.

Continue Reading

Sierra Black lives in the Boston area with her family. She is a frequent contributor to Babble, and blogs about her family life at Childwild. She and her husband will celebrate their 10th anniversary together this year.   More Sierra Black

Friday, Jan 20, 2012 4:30 PM UTC2012-01-20T16:30:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Does it matter Newt cheated?

When all morality collapses into sexual morality, it's the voters who get screwed

Republican presidential candidate and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and his wife Callista

The Gingriches  (Credit: Eric Thayer / Reuters)

Topics:,

Newt Gingrich’s second wife, Marianne, told ABC News he’s morally unfit to be president because he cut out on her with Callista and then asked her to go along with the arrangement. She’s attacking the candidate who shut down the entire U.S. government because it was spending too much money on poor people; who thinks that “African-American” is just a synonym for food stamp recipient; and who wants to conscript impoverished children into janitorial jobs to teach them promptness. And we’re worrying about what he did with his dick? Watch out: When all morality collapses into sexual morality, the voters will become so fixated on whom the candidates are screwing they don’t notice …  it’s them.

Continue Reading

Linda Hirshman is the author of “Victory: The Triumphant Gay Revolution,” forthcoming in June 2012. Follow her on Twitter @LindaHirshman1  More Linda Hirshman

Page 1 of 395 in Sex

Other News