SALON

Friday, Jan 25, 2002 5:46 PM UTC

Rambo and Osama won’t samba

Bin Laden has nothing to fear from Stallone; Britney on virginity -- again; Mariah may sue over the T word! Plus: Minnie Driver clears up Judi Dench stench, sort of.

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Topics: Celebrity, Jonathan Franzen,

Cue the schmaltzy music. Sylvester Stallone’s ready to take on the heartless, dismissive establishment and show them what he’s made of again.

All his talk about making “Rocky 6″ seems to be falling on deaf ears in Hollywood. In fact, the whole idea may well be on the ropes. Ditto his idea for the return of “Rambo.”

“It’s unlikely either my ‘Rocky’ or my ‘Rambo’ picture will get made,” Stallone told the London Mirror.

Why ever not? Well, in the case of a certain boxer named Balboa, Stallone blames himself and the superstinkiness of the last “Rocky” flick.

“I made a big mistake with ‘Rocky 5,’” he confesses. “I should never have done it … There was nothing inspirational.”

Still, he says, he’d “love one more shot at getting that right, even though people will say I’m a little old for it.”

(Or a lotta old … )

And as for “Rambo,” Stallone has had to admit that his Rambo-kicks-Afghan-ass concept might be a little over-the-top.

“It would have been too much to have Rambo go in and kill Osama bin Laden, I suppose,” he tells the tab. “It would be an insult to every military guy. This time I don’t see Rambo going it alone.”

Adrienne! Adrienne!

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Like, a virgin? She ain’t sayin’ anymore

“I wished I had never said anything about it.”

– Britney Spears on whole proud-to-be-a-virgin thing, in the U.K. Sun.

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Clearing up the Dench stench

There is nothing like a dame disser. But Minnie Driver says her comments about Judi Dench’s looks were completely misconstrued.

“I never, I never called Dame Judi ‘small, round and middle-aged,’” Driver announced on a London TV news show. “What I was talking about was the notion of the way in which one looks, especially in Hollywood, as actresses get older the parts dry up. They just do. It’s a fact of life.

“And the way that someone like Dame Judi has continued to work and has continued to do astonishing roles.”

What she meant was that in the U.K., they really don’t much care what you look like. “It was always whether you were the best person for the job,” she said. “Your talent was what came first.”

At least until you’re “small, round and middle-aged.”

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Franzen goes Hollywood

Oprah may have denied him his turn on the small screen, but it looks like Jonathan Franzen may be having the last laugh after all.

His National Book Award-winning novel, “The Corrections,” is bound for the big screen. According to Variety, “The Corrections” is being adapted by playwright/screenwriter David Hare, the man behind “Plenty” and “Damage,” and will be directed by Stephen Daldry, of “Billy Elliot” fame. Filming will begin this winter.

Correct that, Oprah.

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Juicy bits

So much for that amicable parting. Mariah Carey’s lawyers have announced that they are considering taking legal action against Virgin/EMI records after the company used the word “terminated” instead of “canceled” when it announced Carey’s … um … canceled contract. This word change, Carey’s legal advisors claim, is a “direct violation” of their agreement. Virgin/EMI’s lawyer, Bert Fields, says he thinks Carey’s contention that the use of the word “terminated” implies that she was “unilaterally dumped” by her record company is unfounded. Implication: unilaterally silly.

Rumor has it someone new — and politically connected — will be there for you on an upcoming episode of “Friends”: Lauren Bush, the president’s 17-year-old fashion-model niece, has been given a walk-on part in the sitcom in which she glares at a few of the male regulars. Alas, she has no lines — maybe they were afraid she’d inherited her uncle’s talent with the spoken word.

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

Amy Reiter

More Amy Reiter.

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