They sure know how to potty!

Tom and Penelope even powder their noses together; Hugh Grant throws down for remote-controlled bachelor pad. Plus: Cage and Presley can't help falling out of love; Britney, like, loves Mike Myers!

Topics: Tom Cruise, Celebrity, Marilyn Manson, Britney Spears,

We know Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz are Hollywood royalty, but who knew they even sit on the throne together?

The cozy couple are so attached to each other, they’ve reportedly begun to coordinate their trips to the bathroom.

At a recent Los Angeles dinner with Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw, the London Express reports, Cruz announced that she had to use the facilities and Cruise rose to go too.

“They were both holding hands until they had to go their separate ways,” a source told the paper. “When Tom finished his ablutions before Penelope did, he patiently waited for her and they went back to their seats hand in hand, where they continued to cuddle and kiss as they chatted with Steven and Kate.”

Well, you know what they say … the couple that pisses together kisses together. Or something like that.

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More terlet talk

“She actually sneaked into my room once and cellophaned my toilet. Puh-lease! She’s strictly amateur night.”

George Clooney on Julia Roberts’ inadequacy as a practical joker, in Controversy magazine.

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Look who’s livin’ like a Bing!

A blow for those of you still holding out hope that Hugh Grant would reunite with Elizabeth Hurley and act as in loco paternis to her unborn child.

The actor has just plunked down about $5 million for his own bachelor pad in Kensington, West London, reports, thus adding weight to his claims that fatherhood is simply not his bag.

The deluxe two-bedroom penthouse apartment reportedly comes complete with a hot tub on its terrace and is tricked out with remote-control-operated windows, stereo and giant master-bedroom movie screen. Maybe if Hurley’s kid came with remote-controlled diapers …

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Victim of the TV mafia

“There’s a terrific line from ‘Godfather 3′ — ‘Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.’”

Eriq LaSalle on how he feels to be headed back to “ER” even though his character, Dr. Benton, had been written out of the show at his request, in Variety.

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Juicy bits

Guess who’s checked into the heartbreak hotel: Nicholas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley. After 10 blissful months together, the disparate duo is dating no more. “Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley ended their 10-month relationship two weeks ago,” their publicists told the press. “They hope to remain friendly.” Cage, for his part, was reported to become quite friendly with any number of comely young women at a Super Bowl party last weekend, and Presley’s been spending some friendly time with her ex, John Oszajca. So they neither of them’s exactly all shook up.

Ever wonder what Marilyn Manson was like as a kid? VH1 has taken it on itself to head back to the goth rocker’s hometown to talk to family and friends about his early years, when he was known as Brian Warner and presumably had normal eyeballs. “He was just like any normal kid growing up in the Midwest,” Manson’s childhood buddy Charles Days recalls in “Driven: Marilyn Manson,” which will air later this month. “He had the poofy hair, too — the 1980s hair, mud flaps on the back. The look for our group back then was a jean jacket, collar up, maybe even a Bon Jovi T-shirt underneath.” So his Satan worshipper look actually sounds like an improvement.

Mike Myers, you’ve got a diehard fan in Britney Spears. Spears recently told London’s Radio 1 that she was “so excited” to appear in the Austin Powers film formerly known as “Goldmember,” she could barely contain herself. “I’ve seen the first two films and I think he’s the funniest man in the world,” she said. Which doesn’t mean the role came easily to her. “It was hard to keep in character,” she confessed, “trying to be this sexy vixen while he pelvic-dances and cracks me up.” Oops, let’s take it again …

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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

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