Books
The art of the scam
Two great American con men bilked their fellow citizens of millions by peddling goat gonad cures for impotence and shares in the estate of Sir Francis Drake.
If to hustle is human and to con divine, the art of the extended con must have reached the ne plus ultra of its divinity in the U.S. in the 1920s and ’30s, when oily operators like Oscar Hartzell and John R. Brinkley were pulling down staggering fortunes by filling people’s hearts with hope and their heads with hooey. Both Hartzell and Brinkley are long gone, but wait! — they live again in two new books that trace their crooked, dazzling trajectories. The first and best of the two is “Drake’s Fortune: The Fabulous True Story of The World’s Greatest Confidence Man,” a biography of Oscar Hartzell by Richard Rayner. The second is R. Alton Lee’s “The Bizarre Careers of John R. Brinkley.”
Lee doesn’t have the narrative chops of Rayner, who also wrote the novel “The Cloud Sketcher,” but Lee’s subject, the insatiably ambitious quack known as the “goat gland doctor,” who claimed he could restore sexual prowess to impotent men, takes the Most Bent Personality trophy. It’s a tough call, though — Hartzell was a kaleidoscopic sociopath of no small accomplishment. Both men were preternaturally buoyant, apparently put on earth to prove that you can’t keep a bad man down. Either would have felt at home in Enron’s executive meetings.
Enron notwithstanding, when it comes to big-time grifters, Hartzell and Brinkley’s days were golden ones for career scam artists. Like the 1990s, the anything-goes roar of the ’20s heralded a decade in which the fantasy of fast living and free spending ignited the public’s imagination even if the reality eluded most. That era ended with the catastrophic financial collapse of 1929, followed by the Great Depression, a considerably more dire situation than our current not so great depression, er, recession. It was a time that found many people in desperate straits, to put it mildly.
Oscar Hartzell intuitively grokked his times. His grand ruse was this: He sold shares in the incorrectly probated estate of Sir Francis Drake, the 16th century privateer, British admiral and plunderer of the Spanish Armada, who became fabulously wealthy on the gold, silver, jewels and other treasure he seized from Spain’s ships. Over nearly two decades, Hartzell made millions by promising a piece of the action to those who gave him money to help untangle long unresolved legal issues around the Drake estate. Once settled, the estate would total in the hundreds of billions, he promised, maybe more.
As early as April 1924, Hartzell, a Midwesterner who operated out of London while running his con through agents in the U.S., was receiving a monthly payment of $2,250 by wire at the American Express office, which he treated like his personal club. By September of 1926 he was collecting $8,000 a month — more than $80,000 in 2002 dollars — and he tirelessly prodded his investors in Iowa to send more. His urgent wires, Rayner writes, “fizzed with self-importance and conviction. He preached. He commanded. His tone of authority impelled his readers to believe that he was indeed dealing with the ‘highest powers that be,’ the ‘King’s and Lords’ Commission,’ and the ‘Ecclesiastical Courts.’”
Needless to say, there was no such thing as a “King’s and Lords’ Commission,” the estate had been settled centuries earlier and none of Hartzell’s 70,000 or more shareholders ever saw so much as a doubloon. But apparently his story, and his delivery, was so compelling, his game so engaging, that at the end of his life it was playing him. By the time he died, at age 67 in 1943, in a hospital for the criminally insane, Hartzell believed that he was Sir Francis Drake.
Brinkley’s very different con was the promise of a revitalized sex life. His bogus “virility rejuvenation cure — transplanting goat gonads into aging men” enabled him to build a pre-Depression empire that continued to flourish through the 1930s and included his own hospitals, radio stations, oil wells, commercial real estate, a Lockheed Electra airplane, yachts, lavish homes and a run for governor of Kansas that some say he would have won if not for voting fraud. Says Lee, “From Hrycus the He-Goat of the Renaissance, who was always ‘burning for coitus,’ to the development in 1998 of Viagra, a pill to reduce male impotency, aging men have sought remedies for the inexorable decline of their virility … As Brinkley discovered, more often than not men are happy to pay.” And pay they did. By 1929 Brinkley’s annual income — derived from prescriptions he gave after diagnosing patients over the air on his radio station and the 50 operations per week he claimed to be performing — was between $1.9 million and $2.2 million ($19 million to $22 million in 2002 dollars).
Rayner also wrote “The Blue Suit,” a memoir recalling his life as a thief during the years he attended Cambridge University, and his own father was a con man who sold cars he didn’t own and then disappeared to South Africa. Rayner’s résumé gives him a palpable connection to his subject — he seems to regard Hartzell with a mix of contempt and admiration, and so do we. Both Rayner and Lee’s books hit the same sweet spot as movies like “The Sting,” “The Grifters” and maybe “The Thomas Crown Affair” do. The wicked cleverness of Hartzell’s and Brinkley’s stories, their ability to get something for nothing by turning the capitalist trick a few twists farther than most are willing to, makes us day job louts envious — not that we’re proud of it, mind you.
Rayner’s book is the page turner of the two, but both volumes are portraits of indefatigable masters of self-invention who snatched the concept of the Horatio Alger story — the dream of the endlessly energetic and innovative self-made man — gave it a pathological skew and then knocked it right out of the park. Hartzell’s vision was narrowly focused; he excelled at one-on-one conning or holding forth via letter. He preferred to operate remotely from his headquarters in London, where he owned several homes, kept various women, ordered Savile Row suits 100 at a time and dined every night at the Savoy Hotel. Even on the rare occasions when he returned to the U.S., where he attended public meetings to attract more investors, he let his agents do most of the talking.
Brinkley was his polar opposite. He was expansive, a workaholic. He was certainly the more complex of the two. He was something of a Bible-thumper but also a prewar admirer of Hitler. And yet he was generous and civic-minded; he even charged on a sliding scale for his phony gland operation, so those of modest means could afford to be fleeced. He understood the value of cultivating political connections and threw extravagant parties to which he invited the entire town. He was sort of a populist Ponce de Leon, offering a fountain of youth that he claimed to have discovered in the loins of a goat; his believers were interested in jump-starting their sex lives, or obtaining quick fixes for chronic maladies.
Brinkley’s medical credentials were “shaky,” and the operation that made him famous — in which he placed slices of a 3-month-old Toggenberg goat’s testis into a human’s scrotum — was, obviously, complete malarkey. Under oath, he admitted that “a ‘majority’ of the goat glands ‘were gradually absorbed’ by the patients bodies. ‘I don’t mean to say the little thing lived,’” Brinkley told the court. (Arghh, I’m not feeling so good all of a sudden.)
Brinkley had his hand in a million endeavors — some legitimate, some definitely not, but Hartzell had a single story that he told and embellished over and over and over. He was “like a writer of mysteries or thrillers,” Rayner says, and he had the true con man’s ability to keep breathing life into his story whenever it stumbled or threatened to stall. Every obstacle was transformed into an opportunity. Every broken promise became a plot turn that propelled the tale forward and bought Hartzell more time — to sell additional shares and to put off the anxious queries of those who’d already invested in his fantasy. He couldn’t “tell his donors what they most wanted to hear,” Rayner writes, “that the money — all those billions — was really on its way [so] he was constantly telling them the next best thing, that it would be coming very, very soon.”
If King George V became ill, Hartzell seized the event as explanation for delaying the big payout: The sum that shareholders were about to receive was so enormous that the king had to approve the paperwork personally. When payment was again delayed, Hartzell would explain that “the value of everything to do with the estate of Sir Francis Drake for the last three hundred years had to be calculated and then reassigned — you could see easily why it might take a lot of time, lawyers, and, therefore, money. If anything was wrong, if any of the seals on the documents were wrong, or any of the ribbons that were held by the seals were not tied right or cut in the right shape, then that could nix the whole deal.” And as the ripples of his story spread to encompass most anything that happened on the planet, the amount of the “Drake fortune” itself grew and grew. Hartzell promised his shareholders they would be able to buy entire states, even countries. The settlement was so huge, he said, it would shake the world economy.
Brinkley, who was driven out of Kansas by the AMA and the FRC (Federal Radio Commission, precursor of the FCC) only to reestablish himself in Del Rio, Texas, with one of the country’s most powerful radio stations, shared Hartzell’s phoenix-like aptitude for turning every dark moment into a new horizon. In the end, though, like Hartzell he crashed and burned. Bankrupt, slain by cancer, he left it to his wife to clean up the financial mess that remained. Both men were that quintessentially American phenomenon: a creature who utterly transforms himself by erasing or largely obscuring his past and assuming a role that catapults him into an entirely different socioeconomic stratosphere.
The successful con man, Rayner writes, relies on two basic rules: “first, there is no seeming limit to the credulity of a greedy sucker once he’s been hooked; second, the moment when a game appears to be all done and worn out, utterly exhausted, might just be the moment when it springs to life and gets interesting again. In this the con man is like Scheherazade in ‘The Thousand and One Nights,’ who understood that a part of us wants a good story never to be over.”
This is the point where one is supposed to sagely suggest that, given the events of the go-go ’90s and other fiduciary unpleasantness, including the above-mentioned Enron debacle, there is much we can all learn from Rayner and Lee’s books about greed, lack of skepticism, ethics and morality. But that would be stupid, annoying and baloney. We read books like these not for a moral lesson, but to be taken along on a high-speed ride without having to pay for the gas. Hartzell and Brinkley were glorious hucksters, enchanting charlatans. These are their stories, so much more fun and colorful than the doings of those bland white-collar thugs in Houston. Put your inner scold on hold and read them with wonder, then call your broker or order some Viagra online.
Douglas Cruickshank is a senior writer for Salon. For more articles by Cruickshank, visit his archive. More Douglas Cruickshank.
Memorial Day fiction: Are we there yet?
Salon exclusive: At the start of the summer fiction season, new stories from Chris Pavone and Natalie Bakopoulos
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) “Are we there yet?”
It’s a dreaded sentence. When it’s spoken by an anxious child from the back seat, it’s enough to make stressed-out parents wish they’d never taken a family vacation in the first place. And even if it’s delivered as a sing-songy punch line, from an impatient partner or spouse on a long road trip, it’s an irritating eye-roller of a joke.
So this Memorial Day weekend — the unofficial start of the summer vacation season, and therefore the summer fiction season — we asked two novelists to reclaim the sentence in a new and adult context. For our latest fiction project, there was only one simple rule: Each story had to include the line “Are we there yet?” in a fresh and surprising way.
Continue Reading CloseDavid Daley is the senior culture editor of Salon. More David Daley.
“Tubes”: What the Internet is made of
If you think your data lives in the cloud and flies through the air, you're wrong
Andrew Blum The title of Andrew Blum’s “Tubes: A Journey to the Center of the Internet” is a ricocheting joke. When Alaskan Sen. Ted Stevens described the Internet as a “series of tubes” back in 2006, he was roundly mocked for not understanding the online world despite being chairman of the Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee and therefore instrumental in overseeing it. Stevens may not have known what he was talking about, Blum (a correspondent for Wired magazine) acknowledges, but he wasn’t wrong, either. In writing this account of “the Internet’s physical infrastructure,” Blum found that “one thing [the Internet] most certainly is, nearly everywhere, is, in fact, a series of tubes.”
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Exclusive: The Paris Review, the Cold War and the CIA
Letters discovered by Salon show even deeper Cold War ties between the Paris Review and a U.S. propaganda front
(Credit: Salon) In 1958, the Paris Review’s George Plimpton wrote his Paris editor with a grand proposal. The Russian author Boris Pasternak had just been awarded the Nobel Prize. But under pressure from the Soviets — humiliated that “Dr. Zhivago” had to be smuggled out of the country — he refused it. “The Pasternak affair has caused such a stir here,” writes Plimpton from the journal’s New York office, “and is in itself an event of such importance in lit’r’y history that we feel the Review somehow should chronicle what has happened…” Writing to Nelson Aldrich, the Paris editor, Plimpton suggests short statements by a “variety of authors asked to comment. What does Sartre have to say on this matter … Aragon, Neruda, Waugh? Here [in New York] we have Niccolo Tucci … digging up statements, mostly from writers who (as he is himself) are refugees from tyranny…” Plimpton goes on to suggest that the Congress for Cultural Freedom, largely and covertly funded by the CIA, might fund brochures to help publicize the issue.
Continue Reading CloseA co-founder of Guernica, Joel Whitney is a Brooklyn writer whose work appears in The New York Times, The New Republic, World Policy Journal and The Paris Review More Joel Whitney.
“People Who Eat Darkness”: The disappearing blonde
A true crime story set in Tokyo illuminates the complicated truths behind media cliches
Joji Obara and Lucie Blackman (Credit: Estate of Lucie Jane Blackman) Lucie Blackman, 21, went out for the afternoon in 2000, phoning her roommate and best friend Louise to arrange a meeting later that night. Lucie never showed up, and within a few days she’d become one of those vanished blondes whose fates fuel headlines and hours of speculative media coverage. She was British, a former flight attendant, and she and Louise were living in Tokyo. They were also bar hostesses, a profession with a very specific meaning in Japan, difficult to explain to foreigners and not entirely clear to the Japanese themselves. Lucie both did and didn’t match the classic Missing Blonde profile, and for a while the mystery of what happened to her threatened to lapse into permanent obscurity.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Corporate criminals gone wild
The maker of the documentary film "Inside Job" has a new book excoriating Wall Street -- and President Obama
A detail from the cover of "Predator Nation" “Inside Job,” Charles Ferguson’s Oscar-winning documentary film on how government, Wall Street and academia colluded to deliver us the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, made a powerful case that something was very very rotten at the heart of the American political/economic nexus. His follow-up book, “Predator Nation: Corporate Criminals, Political Corruption, and the Hijacking of America,” can be considered the legal brief that dots every “i” and crosses every “t” in his argument. A tightly argued, profusely footnoted and deeply enraged castigation of everyone involved, “Predator Nation” isn’t just a factually unchallengeable account of how Wall Street blew up the global economy. It’s a denunciation, a call for justice and a warning: After getting away with the crime of the century, Wall Street still isn’t satisfied.
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Andrew Leonard is a staff writer at Salon. On Twitter, @koxinga21. More Andrew Leonard.
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