He gives and he gives

Michael Jackson donates his stinky gloves to charity; Sharon Osbourne embarrasses Ozzy; and Bono denies hair transplant rumor.

Topics: Celebrity, Michael Jackson, Jude Law, Bono,

You know how Michael Jackson’s been accusing Sony of blocking the release of his 9/11 charity single?

Well, according to the Los Angeles Times, Jackson himself ditched the song “What More Can I Give?” when his advisors discovered the song’s executive producer had gay porn biz connections.

Which is not to say that Jackson’s abandoned all his philanthropic efforts. Far from it. Why, just the other day he informed celebrity researcher Baird Jones that even his smelly old gloves are selflessly donated to charity.

“I never reuse the glove that I wear during my performance; that glove belongs to that unique moment,” Jackson tells Jones during a meeting of the nose-free singer’s fan club.

“When my act is over, I put the glove in a very safe place so that it is not damaged or lost,” he says. “Later I give the gloves to a charity to be auctioned later. I never sell them for personal gain.”

Really, people, what more can he give?

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Slight problem

“I found Lara smart, sardonic and witty, but I thought I needed a bigger girl. If you’re going to have a villain, you don’t want someone who weighs less than your dog.”

Barry Sonnenfeld on his weighty concerns about casting wafer-thin Lara Flynn Boyle as the heavy in “Men in Black II,” in the Sydney Telegraph.

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Splitting hairs

Heard the rumor about Bono getting a hair transplant?

Not true, his handlers insist, despite what Coldplay frontman Chris Martin’s been blabbing to the press.

“Someone famous, someone who knows, told me Bono’s had a hair transplant,” Martin told the British music magazine Q. “Can you believe it? Bono? Some of those tufts have been stitched in.”

Bono’s spokeswoman says those tufts are all genuine, stitch-free Bono hair.

“Ha, ha, ha, what a load of nonsense,” she told Ananova.com, responding to the rumor.

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That Martin is a stitch!

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Look who’s talking!

“My wife said to Camilla Parker Bowles, ‘I think you’re fucking great.’ My eyeballs nearly flew out of my head.”

Ozzy Osbourne, in Rolling Stone, on his alarm when his wife, Sharon, swore in front of Prince Charles’ lady friend after he had asked her to ix-nay the earing-sway in Buckingham Palace. (“Oh, it’s quite all right,” Parker Bowles assured him. “We curse a lot around here.”)

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Jude Lawless?

Jude Law may not look like a car thief to you and me, but he apparently looked like one to a Romanian politician who recently accused Law of trying to swipe his brother’s car.

According to the U.K. tabs, Sen. Dinu Patriciu, convinced that the actor was trying to make off with his bro’s vehicle, stepped up and “threw a few punches” at Law before the actor’s bodyguard broke up the scuffle.

Turns out Patriciu’s brother sold his car to a rental agency, where Law, in Romania to film “Cold Mountain,” leased it.

“I was convinced he was a crook as he was dressed just as a real thief,” Patriciu explained after apologizing to the actor, “and I recognized the car — it was my brother’s.”

How do you say, “Dude, where are your manners?” in Romanian?

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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

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