SALON

Wednesday, Oct 2, 2002 4:00 PM UTC

Liza adopts cast; Miss Piggy loses her Dogg

It was a bad week for canines, but justice triumphs as a guy named Cox directs a biopic about John Holmes.

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Topics: Celebrity,

Lisa Marie Presley may have nabbed a humongous diamond ring (6 or 7 carats!) when she married Patricia Arquette’s ex Nicolas Cage, but Arquette herself seems to have snagged a much larger gift from her betrothed, actor Thomas Jane: a baby.

Or at least a baby-to-be.

According to the upcoming issue of Us Weekly, Arquette and Jane, who announced their engagement just a couple of months ago, are expecting a little bambino. It will be their first, but Arquette’s second: She has a 13-year-old son, Enzo Rossi, fathered by musician Paul Rossi.

“She’s five months pregnant,” one of Arquette’s buddies told the magazine. “She’s showing now.”

Soon the little fetus will be almost as big as Presley’s honkin’ rock.

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Get this man a Kleenex

“I never throw books away, ever, under any circumstances. I’d rather blow my nose on my hand without a handkerchief, in public, than throw a book away.”

– Maxim publisher Felix Dennis on his profound respect for the written word, in recently launched Readerville magazine.

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Surely they Gest

Don’t let Angelina Jolie get wind of this …

Liza Minnelli and her husband, David Gest, have reportedly decided that adopting one child simply isn’t enough for them.

The couple’s 3-year-old adopted daughter, Serena, is due to move in with them in January, but they’re not yet satisfied. In an upcoming interview on the BBC, Minnelli, 56, says she and Gest, 48, are hoping to take in not one, not two, but three more unsuspecting tykes in the next few years.

And you thought those plans for a reality TV show were ambitious …

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It’s a quandary

“I don’t know if to say, ‘Wow, that’s wonderful,’ or apologize to them.”

– “Flashdance” star Jennifer Beals on the reemergence of some of the styles — sweatshirts with the necks cut out and leg warmers — she popularized back in the ’80s, in the New York Daily News.

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Juicy bits

Snoop Dogg not a fitting example for children? Who could have predicted that? Launch.com reports that the rapper’s cameo appearance has been snipped from the made-for-TV movie “It’s a Very Muppet Christmas Movie,” which will air in December on NBC. No one knows for sure why Snoop’s moment in the Muppet sun has been eclipsed, but rumor has it it’s because of his recent appearance in porn videos. Miss Piggy will be so disappointed.

Further proof that it’s a dog’s life … new pops George Stephanopoulos was tossed out of a Barnes & Noble store in D.C. after his pet dogs made too much of a ruckus in the magazine section, the Washington Post reports. “I was in the periodical section reading Lewis Lapham in Harper’s, and Gilbert [his dachshund] wanted to go over to check out the bestsellers,” Stephanopoulos tells the paper. “It was all over in a minute and a half. I was asked to leave and I left.” Ruff day.

The man most qualified to play the late, famously well-hung porn star John Holmes? Val Kilmer, apparently. According to Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, Kilmer’s signed on to play Holmes in the upcoming biopic “Wonderland.” Lisa Kudrow, Kate Bosworth and Josh Lucas are currently in talks to co-star. James Cox, who says Kilmer was his first choice to play Holmes, will direct. We’re not even going to comment on the aptness of the director’s last name.

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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

More Amy Reiter.

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