Dave Eggers
“You Shall Know Our Velocity” by Dave Eggers
Stop squawking about the money, the youth and the fame -- there's a real writer among us, and Dave Eggers' new novel proves it.
I don’t think it’s possible for anyone who writes for a living to be objective about Dave Eggers’ second book — and first novel — “You Shall Know Our Velocity.” As a writer, I can’t be objective about Eggers at all, given the staggering, and to me somewhat heartbreaking, success of his bestselling memoir, “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.” There’s no point in pretending that writers aren’t envious. All I know is, if a book of mine ever got a paperback sale of $1.4 million and a few million more for the movie rights, I wouldn’t be bellyaching about the way the press covered it, as Eggers so famously does. That’s what makes you want to hate him. That and the money.
On the other hand, Eggers is a hero to writers. At least, he’s a hero to me, bucking his publishers, firing his agents, demanding this and that as he travels around — I love the guy. It’s a reliable measure of his ego, I guess, that when he formed his own publishing company he called it “McSweeney’s Books” and not “Eggers’ Books,” and that his foundation to teach writing to underprivileged children in San Francisco — where he lives, damn it — isn’t called “The Eggers Project” but “826 Valencia,” after its address. I doubt I’d have the energy to do what Eggers does even if I weren’t twice his age, or feeling like it when I look at his résumé.
There’s too much Eggers in my head, is what I’m saying. I need relief. And, presto! — that’s what Eggers’ new novel is about: headache relief.
I mean this literally. Will Chmlielewski, the hero and narrator of “You Shall Know Our Velocity,” is seeking relief for his head, which, on the inside, has been badly affected by the death of a friend and, on the outside, has been beaten to a pulp by a band of toughs. Will moves through the novel with a badly bruised and scabbed face, which everyone keeps telling him — and he keeps telling everyone — will heal to its former condition. It’s the same hope Will holds out for his mind. He can’t sleep without alcohol or masturbation.
“I tried to nap,” Will reports, “but now my head was alive, was a toddler in a room full of new guests. It jumped and squealed and threw the books off the shelves … My mind, I know, I can prove, hovers on hummingbird wings. It hovers and churns. And when it’s operating at full thrust, the churning does not stop. The machines do not rest, the systems rarely cool. And while I can forget anything of any importance — this is why people tell me secrets — my mind has an uncanny knack for organization when it comes to pain. Nothing tormenting is lost, never even diminished in color or intensity or quality of sound. These were filed near the front.”
Sounds a lot like Dave Eggers, doesn’t it? That’s another way “You Shall Know Our Velocity” works as a pain reliever. Eggers is a wonderful writer, bold and inventive, with the technique of a magic realist. “Everything within takes place after Jack died,” says Will in his opening line, “and before my Mom and I drowned in a burning ferry in the cool tannin-tinted Guaviare River, in East-Central Colombia, with forty-two locals we hadn’t yet met.”
The plot of “You Shall Know Our Velocity” is best recounted swiftly, since it hinges on motion and speed. Will (Thought) has a friend called Hand (Action). After Jack’s death in a car crash, they agree to make a six-day trip around the world — “six, six and a half” — flying from country to country and dispersing $80,000 to strangers, money that Will has suddenly come into and which plagues him with white, Western guilt.
“The grand design was movement and the opposition of time,” Will explains, “not drinking, biding, sleeping.” But the boys can’t seem to get anywhere, or anyhow not where they’re aiming. They want to go to Greenland and end up in Senegal. They head for Moscow and end up in London, and, later, at a Latvian orgy, unable to rent cars, unable to get visas, unable to book flights and missing them when they do. And “the waiting!” Will exclaims:
“Every drive to every airport in the world was ugly, lined with the backsides of the most despondent of homes, and every hotel lobby underlined our sloth and mortality. This, this unmitigated slowness of moving from place to place — I had no tools to address it, no words to express the anger it forged inside me … Where was teleporting, for fuck’s sake? Should we not have teleporting by now? They promised us teleporting decades ago! It made all the sense in the world … the one advancement that would finally break us all free of our slow movement from here to there, would zip our big fat slow fleshy bodies around as fast as our minds could will them — which was as fast as they should be going: the speed of thought.”
On their way to nowhere in particular, Will and Hand cross paths and lock horns with a variety of exotics — peasants, prostitutes, elegant Frenchwomen in dark cafes — none of whom seem to want Will’s money. He literally can’t give it away. In the cities, it causes pandemonium and never less than a quick escape. In the country, among African subsistence farmers, it throws Will into confusion — about money, charity, justice, his motives and such. Sometimes he calls his mother, which is no help. In Senegal, a statuesque Parisian named Annette joins Will and Hand for a midnight swim and tells them that they live in “the fourth world,” something Will can’t understand.
“Not the first world,” says Annette, “the world we are from, not the second or third world, so many people treading water. This is different. The fourth world is voluntary. It is quick, small steps from the other worlds … Everyone is sleeping and we are here, in the sea. That is the fourth world. The fourth world is present and available. It’s this close.” As Will grows more paralyzed, Hand, already his opposite in this regard, becomes bolder and more active. “Any thwarted movement was an affront,” Will agrees, “was almost impossible to understand. It was so hard to understand No. But with every untaken step a part of the soul sighs in relief.” Hand remarks, “Let’s go, dipshit.”
If it sounds a bit sophomoric, it is. So is “On the Road.” So was “Emile.” A certain crabbed critic for a paper of record has complained about Eggers’ “shaggy-dog plot” and “self-indulgent yapping,” but I think she’s showing her age. A writer is among us, however imperfect, and he’ll only get better if we leave him alone.
Peter Kurth, a regular contributor to Salon Books, is the author of "Isadora: A Sensational Life." He lives in Burlington, Vt. More Peter Kurth.
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Our new partnership with McSweeney’s
Great new stories from a publisher we greatly admire
Today, Salon is proud to launch a new content partnership with McSweeney’s, the little San Francisco publishing outfit with a very big cultural footprint. We’ll be frequently running pieces and excerpts from the various McSweeney’s divisions — McSweeney’s Quarterly Journal, the Believer, Wholphin and McSweeney’s Books — exclusively on Salon.com. The first piece is Elif Batuman’s fascinating “Missed Encounters With the Movies,” an excerpt from the Believer’s Film Issue.
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Kerry Lauerman is Salon's Editor in Chief. Follow him on Twitter: @kerrylauerman. More Kerry Lauerman.
Kids’ movies that aren’t for kids: The top 10
Will "Where the Wild Things Are" be a smash or a flop? Either way, it joins an august list of kidult classics
A still from "Spirited Away" 
A still from “Spirited Away”
I haven’t yet seen the Dave Eggers-Spike Jonze film adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s “Where the Wild Things Are,” which might be the most eagerly anticipated big movie of the fall season. But let’s be honest about that anticipation: Part of it is an earnest desire to see Jonze’s apparently gorgeous fantasy construction, and part of it is mystified wonder mixed with schadenfreude. How do you turn a beloved picture book for small children — a book with almost no text, predicated on evoking an imaginative response — into a Hollywood movie, the most literal-minded and imagination-supplanting of all art forms?
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Dave Eggers For better or worse, Dave Eggers will always be known as the author of the quasi-fictional memoir “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius,” a 2000 bestseller that recounted his experiences raising his little brother after the sudden deaths of their parents. (He began writing it, I should note, while employed as an editor at Salon.) That sudden rise to literary celebrity threatened to turn Eggers into a Generation-X cult figure or avatar of sincerity, but viewed in retrospect he handled the lightning strike of success about as well as anyone could. He has refused to be trapped by the highly self-conscious literary voice of that book and, more impressive still, has tried to turn his success toward real-world ends.
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John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph play parents-to-be in this movie by real-life couple Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida.
Maya Rudolph (left) and John Krasinski in "Away We Go." In “Away We Go,” Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski play Verona and Burt, a young, resolutely unmarried couple in their 30s who are looking forward, sort of, to having their first child. The pregnancy was a surprise, though not necessarily an unhappy one, and the couple busy themselves making all kinds of necessary and unnecessary preparations for the baby’s arrival: Burt, who has an unexciting job selling insurance futures, wants to be the kind of dad who knows how to “cobble” (Verona politely points out that the rather aimless activity he’s engaged in, as he monkeys around with a knife and a piece of wood, is actually “whittling”); Verona, a no-nonsense medical illustrator, is more concerned with practicalities, but she also has her own emotional issues to deal with. Her parents died when she was in college, and she barely wants to admit to the sadness she feels that they won’t be around to see their grandchild.
Continue Reading CloseStephanie Zacharek is a senior writer for Salon Arts & Entertainment. More Stephanie Zacharek.
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