She depends on Mike

Zeta-Jones pooh-poohs diaper slam about her old man; brew-ha-ha for beery Courtney and David; Sharon has Depp thoughts about Ozzy biopic.

Topics: Celebrity, Johnny Depp,

I don’t know what you’re dressing as for Halloween this year, but Catherine Zeta-Jones is apparently passing herself off as a very patient person.

During an open Q&A session with fans last week at a department store in Toronto, where she was promoting a new fragrance, the actress fielded questions from a moderator.

But according to the upcoming issue of Us Weekly, things got a little wacky toward the end of her appearance.

“People began shouting out questions,” one source tells the magazine. “One guy yelled out, ‘Whose diapers do you prefer to change: your baby’s or your husband’s?’”

And while the moderator was said to be “appalled” by the rude reference to Michael Douglas’ advanced age (58; Zeta-Jones is 33), Jones, the source said, “didn’t seem bothered.”

Maybe she was giving the query some serious thought.

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Fat’s not where it’s at

“Putting on the weight was fun for the first two weeks but then you have to wake up at 2 in the morning and eat two burgers and go back to bed. And at 7 in the morning — eating a stack of pancakes. You still haven’t even swallowed your last meal, and you’re having to sit down for another one. So that wasn’t fun.”

Mark Wahlberg on the many miseries of having to gain weight for a role (in “Pride and Glory,” which was later canceled), in an interview on the Britain’s Radio 1.

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Friends, lovers and drinking buddies

If you’ve ever wondered what Courteney Cox and David Arquette have in common, here’s your answer: a love of beer.

The couple apparently have a special Guinness kegorator, which keeps the beer at the exact right temperature, in a privileged place in their Los Angeles home. But disaster struck recently at the hands of a BBC crew, which unwittingly unplugged the contraption during the filming of an at-home interview with the beery duo.

When Arquette poured himself a less-than-perfect pint, he nearly lost it.

“It was ugly,” he says, “but Courteney and I kept cool and immediately ordered up another keg.”

Let’s hear it for the stout of heart.



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Juicy bits

Devastating news: You may never get to watch Liza Minnelli and David Gest gallivant around their home while a bunch of random “dinner guests” keep them company and sing songs. Yep, the “Liza & David” show is off before it ever was on. VH1 says Gest didn’t hold up his end of the bargain. “David Gest redefines the term ‘control freak,’” a source from the show told the New York Post. “He was almost insane.” His worst offense might have been continuously canceling shoots at the last minute, or it may have been the fact that he reportedly insisted that crew members remove their shoes and wear surgical booties while filming inside the couple’s apartment. Booties!

Is the Prince of Fucking Darkness set to become king of the big screen? Sharon Osbourne has announced that she is deep in negotiations with a major studio for the rights to a biopic of her husband. And she has her ideas about who’ll play him: Johnny Depp. “I have a dream of who it could be, but I don’t know if he’ll do it,” she told the Hollywood Reporter. “He’s a brilliant actor.” And not just any actor can look convincing biting a head off a bat.

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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

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