Cultural offerings from the ’70s and early ’80s that used to seem like schlock, when juxtaposed to the current, even schlockier schlock, don’t seem so schlocky anymore. I recently heard “Borderline,” the first Madonna hit, on the radio when I was in a video store, and it made me involuntarily dance. It didn’t when it came out — there were far funkier songs going around, and Madonna’s music, though infectiously hooky, seemed sort of wannabe-funky and contrived. Now, in the wake of Diane Warren’s genocidal takeover of the radio waves and the horrifying success of Poppin’ Fresh thongsters like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, the old Madonna/Jellybean Benitez cuts sound newly organic and ingenious.
There are similar resurrections when one re-investigates the world of pop film from the ’70s and ’80s. John Hughes films that seemed sanitized at the time now look pretty edgy. And Robby Benson, critical whipping boy of the disco era, looks like a respectable actor, at least when compared with the some of the feckless young Hollywood jag-offs of today.
If a young man is a certain kind of teen idol, like David Cassidy, and teenage girls demand soft-focus posters of him oiled and shirtless with feathered hair, nobody will ever take his work seriously — there is a third dimension, image-wise, that such personae aren’t allowed in terms of public perception.
David Cassidy, looking back with new eyes, was actually a very talented teen idol — and Robby Benson, the David Cassidy of dramatic acting, actually had compelling charm and a wide emotional spectrum, but he got trapped in a sugary pubescent simp rut that kneecapped any respect he might have gotten.
Robin David Segal, aka Robby Benson, was too pretty to be taken seriously, but he was unusual — more “ethnic” than the average teen idol, also a bit more complex. He is always described as doe-eyed, but his eyes are more eerily religious, like backlit blue marbles. If Benson had been allowed (or had allowed himself) to develop a little more coolness and/or masculine, sexual alertness, his teary-eyed vulnerability would have had more legs. But since his supersensitivity was coupled with a cloying, chaste manner, he was written off as a dickless square. It didn’t help that the roles in which he was cast were so unctuously sentimental.
Male critics hated him with a nearly irrational fervor, and the sharper female critics didn’t have much use for him either — grown-ups were put off by the flocculent way Robby carried himself. Compared to other leading young men of the time (e.g., the strutting peacock magnificence of John Travolta in “Saturday Night Fever”), Benson moved on tippytoes, like he was carrying a dying baby bunny in a potholder. Benson represented a soft, sexless flavor that called for a taste nobody but grade-school girls and men who were light in the loafers wanted to acquire.
Thumb critic Gene Siskel wrote in 1986 about the uncomfortable experience of running into Robby Benson during a film festival, setting it up by describing Benson as “one actor to whom I have regularly given the most negative reviews in my 17 years as film critic”:
“Benson’s manner and voice make me squirm as soon as I see him on-screen. He always seems to be saying with every performance, ‘Please like me; I’m so helpless.’ This is not appropriate behavior for a 30-year-old actor … ”
Siskel was not alone. Most critics of that era were giddy with a fashionable hatred of Robby Benson — it was a mark of taste and sophistication. It may have been nearly impossible for Benson to get an unbiased review in such an atmosphere.
I first heard of Robby Benson as a very small child when “Ode to Billy Joe” came out in 1976 — a film based on the Bobbie Gentry song. Robby was 20 at the time, but could have easily passed for 14.
Robby is Billy Joe MacAllister, who jumps off the Tallahatchie Bridge. “Don’t seem like no good ever came to nobody on this bridge,” one of the characters offers in what is some of the least realistic-sounding dialogue ever to besmirch a screenplay.
Benson is very young, skinny, gawky and oily — a boy in the fullest wonk of adolescence. But even with screamingly bad lines and a face that looks as if it’s covered with margarine, Benson has a disproportionately large amount of sincerity and charisma for a teenage boy, and he projects a likable dignity even when flailing and squeaking through the worst pubescent discomforts.
Glynnis O’Connor, in the role of Bobbie Lee, Billy Joe’s love interest, has the worst job in the film, having to conjure a big ol’ wad of conviction delivering teenage “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” runoff like this memorable gem:
“I’m a brain, but ah’m a body, too, James, with desires, and somebody better pay attention to that. Mah blood is racin’, and mah ample breasts are burstin.’”
Wow, and she ain’t but 15. Tennessee Williams, if he hadn’t already drunk himself to death, surely had reason to with this kind of tribute.
The teenagers are bored hicks with hot pants on a sticky Mississippi summer. Benson, who is shirtless through a lot of this movie and covered with sweat drops the size of quarters, brings a nicely infectious enthusiasm to even the most mind-blowingly retarded lines, with his voice full of honking and horny teen musk. He successfully epitomizes being a Good Kid without being a total milquetoast and slanting off into abject gooberdom. No boy actor until River Phoenix revealed more sloppy emotion than Robby, especially during the Big Revealing Scene before the suicide.
He’s a weepy-eyed mess when he says “I love you” — what else could teenage girls want? Not much — this movie revealed the power to make the young girls cry that was to be Robby’s ticket as well as his undoing.
Benson’s next landmark effort was “One on One” (1977), which he co-wrote with his father, screenwriter Jerry Segal.
The film is a dumb and clumsily formulaic “Rocky” retread for the Clearasil demographic. Robby stars as a naïve, squeaky-clean high school basketball star who goes to college in the Big City and encounters all kinds of moral ambivalence.
The screen is filled with lingerings on Robby’s delicate face and cheesecakey body shots of him in super short-shorts and long tube socks pulled up to the knee. Despite his abject geekery, hot, mature women come on to Robby incessantly through the film in a way that could only be imagined by the actor’s dad: “You got great legs. Really sexy legs. I’m not kidding.”
There is an Evil Coach who wants Robby to give up his scholarship, blah blah blah, and a sexy older girl (Annette O’Toole) who tutors Robby and naturally has to fall for him, even though he represents the odious Jock World and she is an Intellecktual.
There are various obligatory scenes: Hick boy Benson is taken clothes shopping by a teammate and gets all pimped up in a bell-bottomed denim ensemble with wide-collar silky shirt. There is an actually hilarious spazz-out scene wherein one of Robby’s teammates gives him some uppers and he yodels and squirts around the court like Jerry Lewis. There is the L.A. party scene, wherein Robby watches in shock as creepy party people writhe and vomit and levitate. “They got straws in their noses!” Benson shrieks. Jeepers!
His ultra-naïveté is lamely unbelievable, but it informs the viewer that Robby Benson is the anti-James Dean: Robby is always articulate and goofily happy, unless being dogged by a clear and present evil. He’s a kindhearted, sensitive dorkwad who’s never embarrassed or ashamed. While James Dean was a mumbling, depressed, Aryan teen philosopher-king sophisticate who seemed to know all the answers, underdog Robby never knows anything — he’s totally wet behind the ears. His film roles seem always contingent upon his undergoing a continual process of childlike discovery and then triumphing with his goody-two-shoes-ism intact despite onslaughts of worldliness and corruption.
At the ending, Robby’s superior ballplaying obviously saves the day. The fans flood the court and put him on their shoulders.
Robby Benson gets the satisfaction of telling off the bully (oh, the joys of father-son dialogue writing): “You hung in there like grim death and I admire you for it,” oozes Mean Coach, who wants Robby to remain on the team.
“Sir? All the way up with a red-hot poker. I can play anywhere I want now,” Robby whispers with his bunny-boy face.
Roll credits, with Robby playin’ a little one-on-one hoops with his girlfriend and … hey, where did all these little kids of all colors come from? Well, come on! Everybody gets to play basketball with Robby Benson! The camera is trained on the hoop with the sun going down behind it as fast-cut edits show balls being sunk again and again. The sun glares into the lens in two white glowing rings, then … stop action! A ball is stopped mid-hoop, eclipsing the sun perfectly! Light shines behind Robby’s basketball in a perfect aureole! “Love conquers a-a-a-all,” wail Seals and Crofts, with lyrics by Paul Williams. Now that’s some delicious American cheese.
Critics didn’t think so. Many stooped to flat-out character assassination.
David Ansen, reviewing “One on One” for Newsweek under the headline “Doe-Eyed Dribbler,” had this to say:
“The less-than-convincing love story, unfortunately, brings out Benson’s delusions of grandeur as a scriptwriter … A similar protest could be lodged against Benson’s overly ingratiating performance, which makes innocence look like a form of retardation. Cute as Bambi and twice as smarmy … Benson seems destined for one of the most protracted adolescences on the screen (by 40 he should be ready to play psychopaths).”
Gary Arnold of the Washington Post flamed Robby with “‘One on One’: An Unhip Hoopster”:
“[In] this poorly rationalized, wish-fulfilling starring vehicle … Benson seems to perceive himself as a romantic heartthrob and sentimental darling … The process of disintegration is built into Benson’s self-righteously sentimental conception of Henry, the kid underdog … Benson tries to have his cake and eat it, precisely the indiscretion avoided by Sylvester Stallone as Rocky, whose modesty made his fairy tale success more appealing. Benson also seems prone to vastly overrate his sex appeal. Here again he might have taken a useful cue from Stallone, who really has a potent sexual presence but probably enhanced it among both men and women by matching Rocky with a modest, ordinary girl like Talia Shire’s Adrian. Some people have the common touch. Other people merely flatter themselves that they have it while groping around for it. At this juncture Benson is still an amateurish groper … Really, Benson is going to have to learn how to moderate his fantasies if he expects us to keep a straight face.”
(Ouch. To think there was ever a time when Stallone was a Paragon of Humility.)
And then, in 1978, there was “Ice Castles,” the film for which Heartthrobby Robby will be best remembered because it was totally fetishized by preteen girls. This is the one film where Robby gets to act halfway cool — he’s not actually cool, of course, but he’s as cool as Robby Benson can get in a movie that’s built around a romance with a blind figure skater and that features a Marvin Hamlisch-Melissa Manchester soundtrack.
Robby plays an aimless young quitter who bags medical school and his hockey team — the one thing he doesn’t give up on is gurl Lexie (played by skater Lynn-Holly Johnson), when she goes blind after a triple axel by hitting her head on some patio furniture.
“Look at him: He’s a beautiful woman,” said my spouse, while watching this film, and he was right — with his long black hair and blue eyes, Benson could have been Charlie’s newest Angel, from the Upper East Side.
Robby tries hard to have some teeth in this one — he slurs his words to make himself sound tougher and more rustic. In the obligatory cheesecake scene, Robby has a phone conversation with his girlfriend while wearing nothing but white box-hugging boy panties that leave nothing to the imagination. A viewer wonders if Benson demanded this bod-shot in his contract, it is so strangely placed in the film — “All right, all right already, Robby, we’ll put your taut groin into the phone scene. Jesus.”
Robby emotes a lot in this film. He watches all of Lexie’s skating routines with a wet-eyed, heart-in-his-throat expression: Every little girl’s fantasy of a boyfriend’s face while watching them ice skate. It would be convincing were it not for the fact that no real young man would ever be capable of making that face without taking a lifetime of shit from his friends.
Still, in the big hollow sugar Easter-egg world of that movie, Robby Benson is perfect. He owns it. He plays the drippy, pansy-ass part on both feet like a man-boy with solid conviction. He might make you squirm, but that’s your problem. Resistance is futile — Robby did his job and gave 100 percent, and that is all we can reasonably ask of any actor. We can’t demand that they perform in a style that is less cringe-o-delic.
Reviewers hated this movie, too, but it is a Hollywood tearjerk-template classic. It remains a touchstone of childhood in the ’70s for an enormous number of American girls who loved the bejesus out of it, and Robby Benson best of all.
An interesting Benson-as-adult role is in the really clunky, dreadful film “Tribute” (1980). Robby plays the uptight, angry son of hammy, womanizing old Broadway hack Jack Lemmon, who gets a Medical Diagnosis at the film’s beginning, giving him X amount of time to live. Mandate: Snitty, tight-assed Robby and rascally, good-time-Charlie Dad must connect before Dad dies.
This movie is a doomed wad of sentimental, ego-barking horseshit, for which I blame Bernard Slade, who wrote the stage play and screenplay. Even Lemmon is sucking air, despite his enormous skill — probably because he was unable, after winning awards for the role onstage, to tone down his massive scenery chewing sufficiently for the intimate medium of film. Benson plays against type as a totally charmless cretin and does a pretty good job, considering that he is violently miscast and doesn’t get to use any of the tools in his bag of charisma tricks. When he’s playing angry, he has a tendency to go into a cartoonish, roaring voice that I can only imagine came in handy in 1991 when he was the Beast in Disney’s animated “Beauty and the Beast” — even when having ugly pangs of rage, Robby is still a bit on the cuddly side.
This is a movie only Gene Shalit goes down on the record for having liked, at least on the video box, which leads me to the conclusion that Shalit can either be bought for a six-pack of Milk Duds or has the worst taste in the history of American film critics.
In “The Chosen” (1981), based on the book by Chaim Potok, Benson plays a Hasidic boy who befriends a reformed Jewish boy (the consistently admirable Barry Miller) during World War II. I think Benson does a lovely job in this film. For the character of Danny, he developed a very thoughtful and interesting arrogance and self-composure. You can tell he did a lot of nice homework on the insular nature of the Brooklyn Hasidic community; he built Danny without standoffishness, but with an assured difference.
His enthusiasm is naïve, as usual, but (for once) this is totally appropriate to the role. There is a nice moment when it is revealed that he is already intimately acquainted with his new friend’s father, a scholar who has been suggesting books for him to read at the library. He looks shaken by excitement, almost terrified at how his hermetic world is suddenly expanding. You can tell, in this moment, that Benson, though he doesn’t pull off subtlety with much subtlety, has a proper respect for subtlety. This alone is almost enough to make him a good actor — added to his spooky good looks. He is likable and compelling in “The Chosen”; the religious nature of his character is a great excuse for the Glow of Wonder in his eyes.
The bumpy friendship between the two boys is very sweet and convincing. Miller, who plays Benson’s radical friend, is an underappreciated young actor of the same generation — he turned in some fine performances in “Fame” and “Saturday Night Fever” but never hit the big time, because, unlike Benson, Hollywood didn’t want to see him in his underpants.
A fairly wretched example of Benson’s later efforts was “Harry and Son” (1984), in which he plays the twee-spirited son of curmudgeonly, blue-collar Paul Newman — a diametric switcheroo on his father-son dynamic in “Tribute.” Robby plays a guy who is so ridiculously enamored of his Dad that it suggests some kind of gay Oedipal complex.
“Harry and Son” was directed, co-written and co-produced by Newman, which is the main problem — dear Paul, while a totally engaging screen presence, was wise to focus his future energies on salad dressing. This film almost feels as if Newman, like Tom Sawyer, wanted to see his own funeral, with everyone beating their chests and weeping about what a wonderful guy he was.
He does Robby no favors, letting him turn in a wildly overwrought and cheese-baked smiling-through-the-tears performance with gagging saccharine overtones. A better director might have raised an eyebrow at Robby and hollered, “Knock it off with that Lifetime Television Housewife Emoto-Porn shit! Act like a man with testicles!”
Critics were less kind.
The hilarious Rita Kempley of the Washington Post wrote in her review that “Harry and Son” was “a love story for guys with quiche on their breath,” and that Benson’s oversympathetic character “makes John Denver look maladjusted.” She went on:
“Benson, though he tries his durndest, is egregiously miscast as the pious young hunk. You can stuff him into a torn sweatshirt and tight jeans and put him in a sex scene with a nymphomaniac, but that don’t make him Tom Cruise … let’s face it, he’s about as sexy as white socks. Attractive, maybe, but sexy, el zippo. Richard Gere in a dual role as both Harry and Howie [the Newman and Benson roles] is the only way this film could work. Otherwise there’s entirely too much Sensitivity going on. And as we know, Gere has none … [The film is] like being stranded at the Friendship rack in a Hallmark card store.”
Richard Schickel trashed the movie, and Robby, for Time:
“As a director, Newman has set himself two obstacles: one is his own powerful presence as an actor; the other is Robby Benson’s lack of one … Still, Newman is inevitably a force to reckon with, and that makes his casting of the feeble Benson the more surprising; surely he knows he can hold the screen against a real actor … Benson is one of those performers who appear to be playing for the mirror instead of the camera; nothing interferes with his pleased self-contemplation.”
And that, as they say, was pretty much that for Robby Benson. He lost his leading-man status after being blamed (unfairly) for the mediocrity of his later films. Robby still did a bunch of other crap (including “Modern Love,” an autobiographical vehicle which he wrote and starred in with his wife, Karla DeVito, a singer who has the singular distinction of having performed with Meat Loaf), but was largely under the radar until he finally regained a certain legitimacy with his vocal role in “Beauty and the Beast.” He now teaches screencraft, does the odd role now and then, and frequently directs TV shows.
I remember (I swear I remember) seeing Benson mentioned on a Web site, maybe five years ago, that was about Hollywood stars who had Bravely Come Out of the Closet. I realize now that site must have been a hoax — Robby Benson is a married father of two — but it said he was gay and had bravely come out and told the world he wanted to live openly as a gay man.
The announcement made sense to me, which is why I never forgot it; it made his Michael Jackson gentleness make sense. The site featured a vintage picture of Robby wearing overalls and no shirt, smiling his shy-girl smile with sunlit eyes in what I thought was a field of yellow daisies.
I had a gorgeous, baby-faced male friend who was an infantilism pinup boy in his late twenties (“infantilism,” in this context, means a fetish in which adults dress up like babies and are changed and pampered by other adults, with large high chairs and other oversized, baby-centric fetish apparatus.) There would be shots taken of him in diapers or footy pajamas, sucking his thumb or a bottle. I realized that the picture of Robby Benson on this Web site looked exactly like my friend in one of his infantilism shots. His face was too innocent — it was innocence way past the age that there should be that level of innocence in a face. It looked unsettling and perverse, like baby clothes on a grown man.
Aha, I thought — that’s why grown men hate Robby Benson, and only the little girls understand. It wasn’t his acting, per se, but his act.
Robby Benson seems to be a question of values. He was from a pre-MTV era; “coolness” was unusual, then, and now it is a staunch corporate requirement of everyone from the age of 4 up. OK, Robby wasn’t cool, but why is that a thought crime? He gave everything he had on the screen — he was just one of those people whose best wasn’t good enough, at least in the eyes of the adult world. His biggest flaw was an excess of cute ingenuousness, which isn’t so bad when you think about it. Some people just can’t help being children all their lives.
Last week, in Miami, I stayed at a self-described “gay hotel,” mostly for the kicky interior: Every room featured, over the bed, an enormous photo portrait of Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra. She was, after all, the ultimate queen.
A friend of mine in his 60s once told me the story of accidentally running into Elizabeth Taylor with her entourage in an alley in New York. He was a successful model and Princeton architect — no stranger among beautiful people. But the sight of Elizabeth, even in the mid-’70s (when the wattage of her once perfect beauty was already slightly dimmed), was, the way he described it, something like being shot with a gun in the chest by Beauty itself. It wasn’t just her fearful symmetry, or her big-bang eyes, but the power of her being, the animation of her character. For him it was life-altering — in a lifetime of looking at art, that split-second encounter in a New York alley was still the encounter with beauty that left him most dumbstruck, some 30 years later. What he felt for Elizabeth Taylor instantly was something akin to the seismic power of pure love.
Like uranium, Elizabeth Taylor was an unstable element that could be variously refined unto many enormous potentialities. She was a weapon of mass obsession that could be deployed as a means of focusing tsunamis of international money. She was a love bomb — and, like any bomb, the very fact of her existence was a phenomenon that demanded a certain severe, almost Calvinist moral scrutiny. Such power, after all, is terrifying — and the tabloids never seemed quite so grateful as when the person hardest hit by Elizabeth Taylor’s own radioactive fallout was Taylor herself.
Elizabeth Taylor wasn’t a celebrity so much as a part of cultural consciousness with as much resonance as an established religion or a letter of the alphabet — an impossible equation that really irritated the scientific mind in people, since she was always considerably more than the sum of her parts. Her majesty both inflamed and infuriated men (for whom she had a crippling weakness and compulsion to collect).
Richard Burton kept his twice-wed wife in line by undermining her. The New York Times obituary this morning had this ghastly quote:
The notion of (Richard Burton’s) wife as “the most beautiful woman in the world is absolute nonsense,” he said. “She has wonderful eyes,” he added, “but she has a double chin and an overdeveloped chest, and she’s rather short in the leg.”
This, I think, was how Burton kept his own ballast: by breaking Elizabeth down into criticizable parts — bruised fender, bad hubcaps — he could teasingly deny her the satisfaction of his comment on her as a total driving experience. He couldn’t acknowledge all the power she had under the hood. It probably would have pleased her too much, and upset their ongoing libidinous struggle to passionately conquer each other.
Elizabeth Taylor’s collaboration with life compelled her to suffer: as if to atone for her wealth, and smite her own perfect appearance. But these catastrophes created, ultimately, a common experience and parity with her audience. Of all people, Elizabeth Taylor is not a star that should have had the Common Touch, but she did. She was, in a sense, her own portrait of Dorian Gray — a walking, talking Faustian contract replete with whiplash plot points and reversals of fortune that might have killed someone not so well grounded in their own humanity (like her dear young friend Michael Jackson).
The friendship she shared with Jackson, which seemed so utterly bizarre in the 1980s, seems less so now: They were both declawed jaguars kept as ornaments dead center in the dictatorship of fame. Their lives had been deprived of any semblance of normalcy — but the suffering of human life is unavoidable, even for stars of such magnitude. There is no cure for life, and this is where they must have been a comfort to each other. Michael did not have Elizabeth’s fortitude of ego or breadth of character; he was, in the end, tragically incapable of being a mere human being — but humanity was Elizabeth Taylor’s fallback position, and her saving grace.
She was the only conceivable human embodiment of Cleopatra, and, offscreen, a sick, lonely, grieving person of weak constitution, prone to grave illnesses and emotional disasters. She was the impossible luxury of White Diamonds (one of her many fragrances) — and she used this wild surplus of personal glamour to champion AIDS back in the earliest days, when it was still perceived as the most frightening stigma on earth — the bubonic plague of sexual deviants — when no other persons of rank and profile had the balls to publicly acknowledge it, let alone lend their full weight to raising money for medical research.
When Elizabeth Taylor’s full power was unleashed on-screen, her portrayals were more than the sum of acting: She was capable of engraving herself in certain emotional states on your consciousness forever, to the point of symbolizing them.
Her chemistry with Montgomery Clift was so palpable in “A Place in the Sun,” you can practically taste both the honey and the razor blade of blinding new love on your own tongue.
The itchy quality that Elizabeth brought to the role of Maggie the Cat in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” traversed the screen and became the shorthand for that eternally wretched feminine state of gnawing, incurable desire — that devouring inner combustion that comes of wanting more from your experience of love than your love object is capable of delivering.
Her very first breakthrough role, in “National Velvet,” crystallized the sincere innocence and honesty of a teenage girl in love with her horse, riding to the very limits of her strength right into the fiery mess of life, with all its fear and pain and hope — sweetly, bravely, with inspiring optimism. Elizabeth Taylor seemed to preserve this courageous innocence in herself offscreen, through whatever life handed her: hails of rose petals and diseases and pills and divorces and savage indignities like John Belushi. Her acting worked so well because she was truthful with herself, and with us — a real, honest citizen who cheerfully bore the punishments of her life while showing no bitterness and protecting no vanity.
Various mystical cosmologies speak of the spiritual goal of dissolving into union with the rest of everything — a process that is usually achieved through the dismantling and gradual erosion of the ego, unto enlightenment (or its cultural equivalent).
Even at the center of attention in Hollywood, Elizabeth Taylor was never too precious to protect herself from ego plunder. She engaged with life on its own terms, even as it periodically killed her hopes and her looks and her love life and her health and her reputation. Ultimately, she was unperturbed, and unshakably generous in her good humor, particularly when the jokes were at her expense. She bravely put her best chin forward and gave life the simple love of an honest, human, achingly beautiful young girl.
Elizabeth Taylor was an impossible vision driving by in a dreamy convertible that every girl wants to be and every boy wants to marry. She leaves in her wake a dazzling aura, a lingering whiff of perfume, a red-hot sexual need and an enduring, indestructible ability to inspire love.
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“I’m tired of pretending I’m not special anymore.” – Charlie Sheen
It has been a red-letter week for the grand-mal celebrity meltdown.
Charlie Sheen has proven himself to be the poet laureate of all once and future megalomaniac sex-addicted crackheads, and John Galliano’s once brilliant design mind unraveled like a cheap acrylic Christmas sweater in a Marais bar, where he dressed down French patrons in a torrent of Nazi jackbooted verbal abuse, prompting excommunication from the worlds of both Natalie Portman and the house of Dior.
Several weeks ago, before any of this went down, I saw John Galliano’s recent designs in Manhattan’s newly re-opened Dior store. I believe I saw foreshadowings of his meltdown in those designs. I trashed the new Dior collection. I have been a longtime Galliano fan, but I felt his new designs were cynical, weak and irresponsibly barbarous.
Because I have spent several years translating fashion statements into English, I could literally read from the clothes that John Galliano was in a deeply miserable place — the clothes themselves seemed to be screaming in agony.
Fashion is a language of references.
Galliano had always been the master of the Marie Antoinette-cum-Scarlett O’Hara-cum-imperial concubine look. But something about the new too-lavish details and hyper-expense suggested to me all the semiotic indicators of megalomaniacal dictator chic: a whorish criminal rococo for those who wanted to flaunt it.
I recognized Dior’s new look as emanating from a certain dirty flavor of kleptocracy: I felt it was a look for Russia — the sexy new Wild Wild East for entrepreneurial land sharks and hookers, made deliberately to “adorn mistresses and new trophy wives in the sartorial equivalent of hula skirts made from 500-euro notes.”
“Not to put a peasant in the punch bowl,” I wrote, “but Dior would make an ideal costume department for the Vlad Putin Hollywood vehicle, ‘Kremlin, Inc.: Too Fast, Too Furious.’ Moscow, after all, does not believe in understated elegance.”
The idea that celebrity is toxic is one of the arguments I make in my first book, “A Massive Swelling: Celebrity Re-Examined as a Grotesque, Crippling Disease.” I had a hunch that the hot psychological mess that was befouling the gowns and tuxedos of so many celebrities had a direct political analog/corollary, but I hadn’t read enough things, and it was all too murky for me to really substantiate.
Now, I think it’s all falling a little more clearly into place. (Bear with me, the dots do connect.)
A recent article in the Atlantic spoke about the new global plutocracy — a loose-knit international coalition of first- or second-generation multibillionaires who hang around the World Economic Forums in Davos, Switzerland, and Bilderberger meet-ups and tend to view themselves as a separate community of interests informed by an interest in protecting their lifestyles of outrageous fortune.
They are a class unto themselves, in other words.
Top designers — members of Galliano’s own elite social class — became his apologists: Donatella Versace commented that there is no justification for the insults but that she doubted Galliano had “meant to be racist.” Giorgio Armani attributed Galliano’s meltdown to a “moment of weakness,” and told fashion reporters, “You can’t expect exemplary behavior from an eccentric man like him.”
Certain “exceptional” people — either by name or industry — happen to have some power and/or agency over large, swirling shit-storms of money. If these people have weak, fractured, underdeveloped egos, they tend, after a while, to go Boom. And the translation of these meltdowns, I believe, no matter what is said about Hitler, really boils down to two words: Stop me.
People like Galliano know they’re not OK — they want someone to stop them, and nobody does. Since they make so much money, they are allowed to flail around nurturing their darkest impulses and perversions. Untethered rich people act out the unrestrained id of toddlers and madmen — they shit everywhere, literally or figuratively — and their class-peers excuse this batshit crazy behavior as being mere “eccentricity” or “creativity.”
An emotionally fractured superstar can foam around with rabies and bite people for years. Galliano’s absurdly over-the-top anti-Semitic tirade — and Mel Gibson’s, for that matter — has to be seen for what it is: a social form of Suicide by Cop.
At some point, the successful human commodity literally has to sabotage him/herself and stop being a functional commodity in order to save his/her own life, because the circles he/she inhabits will merely milk the cash cow, enable the ongoing self-destruction, protect it by hiding it, and “yes-man” a moneymaking one-person industry — literally — to death.
Donald Trump commented that CBS will rehire Charlie Sheen because he gets ratings, and ratings are the only thing that matters. Mel Gibson got away with slurring Holocaust denials in Hollywood — the Israel of the Americas — because he was still raking in cash in the movie theaters. John Lesher, a prominent agent, told the New York Times: “People here will work with the Antichrist if it puts butts on seats.”
Power is a phenomenon that contains a personal component — big power tends to emanate in the character of the person who wields it. The personality of a particularly pungent boss can be felt throughout an entire company — the new Dior collection contained the character of Galliano, because he was the mind responsible for it. This is politically apparent as well.
The Bush administration took an imperialist stance, rooted in delusions of American exceptionalism — i.e., America decided to view itself as Charlie Sheen. Because of America’s tiger blood and Adonis DNA, the U.S. was too special to be understood by any normal country, so we decided to do strafing runs in our underwear before we had our first cup of coffee. Karl Rove’s secretive, post-reality, ideological hubris resulted in a credibility gap that the American political system has yet to recover from. Dick Cheney’s personal cornered-rat paranoia resulted in policies that ushered in a preemptive war on a sovereign nation — and ever since, we are a nation that debates the merits of torture and lives in fear. Neoconservative fiscal policies ushered in the fastest, most balls-to-the-wall economic calamities that have ever happened in America. And American life, as a result, took on the morose character of the Bush administration: We became isolated, paranoid and morally bankrupt and ultimately broke — a dry-drunk nation, in other words, that had totaled its car and lost all daddy’s money.
The cultural superstructure tends to mirror what’s going on with the prevailing power structure. Celebrity artists are emotionally labile, oversensitive people whose inner hard drives are often incapable of processing all of the weird input they get. Like canaries in coal mines, celebrities are early warning systems — they are social malaise barometers: They tend to act out the psychological impulses motivating the prevailing sociopolitico-economic power structures around them.
Exploding stars seem to have the same illness shared by oligarchs, plutocrats, dictators, tyrants and serial killers. For the sake of discussion, let’s call it Extreme Morbid Elitist Narcissism (X-MEN). It turns people into Superheroes that need to fight their biggest and only deserving enemy: themselves.
There is no comfort in perceiving yourself as being so exceptional as to be utterly divorced from the family of man. The inner poverty of having no common language of human experience — nobody bigger than you, in your own mind, no equal or superior on earth or in heaven — is deadly. To think of yourself as glaringly exceptional — whether you are a designer or an actor or a country — is to invite the most grievous form of hellish isolation. The super-elite person/class/nation who hates him/her/itself must punish and humiliate itself in the absence of a thunderbolt-hurling Zeus that will do it.
Even in the midst of an alcoholic blackout, anyone who grew up in this world in the last 50 years and ever owned a belt knows that shouting “I love Hitler” in an open space isn’t going to go over well. But tyranny doesn’t always manifest in racial cleansing, cannibalism, zipping your enemies into leather duvet covers with raccoons, or MC Hammer sunglasses. Tyranny is, at its root, the same disease that informs the self-defacement of plastic surgery addicts and/or the personal dictatorship of anorexia.
The Tibetan Buddhists view grandiose self-regard as not just a poor way to live and horribly embarrassing, but as a klesha: literally, a poison.
Richness and specialness is an expansive personal hell — but ironically, people like John Galliano, Charlie Sheen and Moammar Gadhafi are even more terrified of escaping their hell than they are of living in it. To recover from their terrible specialness would mean they would be forced to recognize themselves as being potentially unspecial. Associating with the Great Unwashed and suffering unbearable indignities like flying coach again is something that people (or nations, or class structures) with “Adonis blood,” or “tiger DNA,” or the mandate of heaven, and/or several bazillion dollars regard as a fate worse than going down in a hail of bullets or going to jail (which at least means they are still exceptional: This makes them legendary outlaws, which in this demented mind-set is still way better than admitting you have real problems.)
In the lack of a dialogue about political economy and its effects on individual psyches, capitalist nations instead indulge the delusion that these things are unrelated. We are tacitly encouraged, as a society, not to see corruption as the product of elitism and power — not class-related, in other words — but accidental every time, a result of the personal weakness of the powerful individual, who we are encouraged to view as an aberration — mentally ill, an addict — an exception to the rule, rather than the norm.
The super-rich are so over-engorged, so coddled, so disgusted with themselves, they are turning into demons, because they have lost all touch with reality and all faith in the boundaries of a sane world. And when tyrants and stars, nation-states and classes believe they are Nietzschean übermenschen, beyond good and evil, there is, quite frequently, a body count.
John Galliano, people close to him have commented, is dying. He is murdering himself before our very eyes.
There are some people who think that Charlie Sheen might have had something to do with the death of porn star Chloe Jones, including his ex-wife, Denise Richards. Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger, Brittany Murphy … Idi Amin, Stalin, Hitler, John Galliano. No matter how you slice it, we are all watching this genocide on TV, and not stopping it.
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Sarah Palin may be a lady, but she ain’t no woman.
I confess, it was pretty riveting when John McCain trotted out Sarah Palin for the first time. Like many people, I thought, “Damn, a hyperconservative, fuckable, Type A, antiabortion, Christian Stepford wife in a ‘sexy librarian’ costume — as a vice president? That’s a brilliant stroke of horrifyingly cynical pandering to the Christian right. Karl Rove must be behind it.”
Palin may have been a boost of political Viagra for the limp, bloodless GOP (and according to an ABC/Washington Post poll she has created a boost in McCain’s standing among white women to a 53 over Obama’s 41). But ideologically, she is their hardcore pornographic centerfold spread, revealing the ugliest underside of Republican ambitions — their insanely zealous and cynical drive to win power by any means necessary, even at the cost of actual leadership.
Sarah Palin is a bit comical, like one of those cutthroat Texas cheerleader stage moms. What her Down syndrome baby and pregnant teenage daughter unequivocally prove, however, is that her most beloved child is the antiabortion platform that ensures her own political ambitions with the conservative right. The throat she’s so hot to cut is that of all American women.
I don’t want Sarah Palin being the representative leader and custodian of my rights, my Constitution and my country any more than I want polygamist compound leader Warren Jeffs baby-sitting for my preteen goddaughters.
As a woman who does not believe what Palin believes, the thought of such an opportunistic anti-female in the White House — in the Cheney chair, no less — is akin to ideological brain rape. What this Republican blowup doll does with her own insides in accord with her own faith is her business. But, like the worst and most terrifying of religious extremists, she seems very comfortable with the idea of imposing her own views on everyone else.
I did not think that women being downgraded to second-class, three-holed chattel would be a pressing concern in my lifetime. I thought it was like polio, or witch burning — an inhumane error that had already been corrected. But after eight years of Republican hegemony, and now the potential ascendance of this sheep in ewe’s clothing, I am so mortally offended I feel like it is really time for women to be angry, hardcore and disgusted again. Not just with old white Christian patriarchs and their hopelessly calcified, religiously condoned misogyny, but also with the self-abnegating, submissive female Uncle Tommies whose ambitions and eagerness to please the powerful males of their tribe are so desperate that they would sell out their sovereignty over their own bodies. And yours too.
Republicans have — in a P.T. Barnum, sucker-born-every-minute kind of way — successfully framed themselves as the custodians of Christian ethics and conservative family values. This stance successfully masks their wholesale class war against the majority of their supporters, who continue to vote blatantly against their own economic interests in thrall to this deliberate emotional manipulation. It was the media critic Douglas Rushkoff who pointed out, several years ago, that Republican politicians were employing marketing techniques perfected by Clotaire Rapaille. Rapaille, broadly paraphrased, introduced a theory that approximately 80 percent of all decision making is done at the level of the limbic system — our lowest, most colorless, reptilian emotional level. Republican strategies are consistent with a belief that the voting process, for most people, is full of feelings — but devoid of reason.
Sarah Palin, in this light, makes so little sense that she makes perfect sense. She speciously represents a new power paradigm of the Nice Mommy: the opposite of Hillary (the Mean Mommy), the opposite of Oprah (black, and therefore foreign), the opposite of Martha Stewart (another Mean Mommy). In her support for women on women’s issues, she has done everything but volunteer for her own circumcision. She tacitly promises a roll backward into old-fashioned sexual roles — like Old Testament-style old. Her morality is fixed, predictable and inflexible. There are those who will find comfort in the fact that they will know exactly what can be expected from Palin: Free will subordinated to obedience of an airtight, evangelical interpretation of the demands of God, country and Republican men.
The choice of Palin represents what the Christian right is really saying to the women of America. The subtext: It’s a Faustian bargain, girls. To elevate your sex to power and respectability, you must first give us the keys to your chastity belt.
It is unsurprising that the morally compromised fraternity of corruption-infested Republican robber barons and war profiteers came up with this stunt, but we must regard it in the same light as the rest of their treasonous, criminal behavior. We must regard Sarah Palin as the Carmella Soprano of the GOP — an enabling wife of organized crime, who sees, hears and speaks no evil of the boys in her old-boy network for whom she does this ideological lap dance.
It is a kind of eerie coincidence that Sarah Palin is being sprung on the public at the same time as the bimbo/frat-boy titty comedy “House Bunny,” which features a poster of a beautiful young lady with Playmate-style bunny ears, big, stupid eyes and her mouth hanging open like someone just punched her.
Sarah Palin is the White House bunny — the most nauseating novelty confection of the evangelical mind-set since Southern “chastity balls,” wherein teen girls pledge abstinence from premarital sex by ceremonially faux-marrying their own fathers.
Sarah Palin is the sexual front of the culture war and the embodiment of the bold social engineering stance of the new authoritarianism that Republicans have been employing ever since they stole the election in 2000. As a result of conservative Republican policies, America has proved itself to be too rife with fraud, bureaucratic constipation, self-inflicted economic calamity, cronyism and incompetence to effect any positive movement anywhere at all, even at home.
But, the Republicans seem to be saying, at least we can offer you the hope of putting women back in their place.
Bristol Palin will no doubt be a fine example as a first teen, particularly now that her mother is inflicting an old-fashioned shotgun wedding on the hapless, horny, condomless youth who impregnated her.
The Republicans are, in effect, saying: We’re not going to win this race on the basis of being the better candidates. Barack Obama is going to make you think. You don’t like thinking. Here’s an It Girl vice president who is easy on the eyes, you stodgy old white baby boomer. She’s like a grown-up version of Mary Ann from “Gilligan’s Island.” She embodies the raw conviction that everything the Republicans have ever done has been right. She’ll make you feel better about yourself for voting for Bush. Twice.
Relax: The war is God’s plan. (Or whatever.) Women, even if they are vice president, can always look pretty, worship their husbands in the fear of God and never, ever resist invasions from unwanted sperm.
Sarah Palin and her virtual burqa have me and my friends retching into our handbags. She’s such a power-mad, backwater beauty-pageant casualty, it’s easy to write her off and make fun of her. But in reality I feel as horrified as a ghetto Jew watching the rise of National Socialism.
She is dangerous. She is not just pro-life, she’s anti-life. She is the suppression of human feeling and instinct. She is a slave to the compromises dictated by her own desire for power and control. Sarah Palin is untethered from her own needs and those of her family, which is in crisis, with a pregnant daughter, a son on the way to Iraq and a special-needs infant.
She should, however, be a galvanizing point for women everywhere. Not to support her candidacy but to rebel against the Republican Party and take back the respect and equality so hard-earned by the women’s liberation movement in the 1970s.
We’ve been shanghaied. This is sick. We need to slap the face of our bad frat-boy date and walk home from this drive-in movie. Sarah Palin may put out to be popular, but the rest of America’s women don’t need to do the same.
If not, what the hell? John McCain should go the whole Hugh Hefner route and have eight V.P.s that all look exactly like Sarah Palin.
It’s McCain’s world, girls: You’d just live in it.
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Saturday, June 28, was a swampy 92 degrees in Washington; the sidewalks on Pennsylvania Avenue were frying. Flamboyant activist group Code Pink was scheduled to kick off a tent-city vigil for peace and democracy in Lafayette Park, across the street from the White House. “Let’s bring this world-changing form of protest back to our nation’s Capitol!” shouted the Code Pink Web Site.
Code Pink welcomes anybody “willing to be outrageous for peace.” But despite its emphasis on “joy and humor,” its ruckus-raising techniques often cause me and my liberal community, who tend to agree with its politics, to regard them with distaste and embarrassment. Why did these shrieking middle-aged women in pink novelty hats believe this manner of protest was going to be effective in Congress, let alone in an almost completely co-opted media climate that seems hellbent on ignoring them?
In Lafayette Park, across the street the White House was there, mute and elegant in the shade behind its black iron gate on its dark, immaculate lawn. But it was already 3 p.m. and Code Pink was not here, nor were there tents. There were a few hardcore peaceniks straggling about; several people in wheelchairs with hand-scrawled signs; a guy wandering around wearing an OPEC sheik costume.
A hunger striker — a small, intense man with Rasputin-blue eyes who calls himself “Start Loving” — sat cross-legged in view of the White House with a handmade sign: Wage Love Vigil Day # 132. Start Loving, who has the words “wage love” tattooed across his nose in blue letters, wore a pink scarf to show solidarity with Code Pink. He was concerned about their absence: “They’re the only group that I know that is worth a damn in this,” said Start Loving. “Everyone else you can ignore. One [Code Pink member] told me the other day that she was getting discouraged. I immediately started to cry because if those guys give up, we have no hope. They’re the only game in town.”
“Code Pink does a hell of a lot. Code Pink has the power,” agreed Christine DeFontenay, a beatific looking older lady. “The people who protest torture and abuses of the Constitution are us old guys! I’ve been keeping a vigil across from Cheney’s [residence] every Wednesday now for eight months, every week. Other people are joining me, I am getting lots less abuse. I’m gonna save Cheney’s soul. On the weekends, he’s changed the route he takes home so he doesn’t have to see my signs — ‘America’s Shame’ and ‘Torture Is Terrorism.’”
Changing Cheney’s route, if not his mind, I agreed, was something. “It is!” said DeFontenay. “Every little bit helps.”
I watched the Torture Abolition and Survivor’s Support Coalition, a small group of torture survivors from Central America, Africa and the Middle East, launch their “Peace Train” — a row of cardboard boxes covered with tempera paint redolent of grade-school murals; images of brown people hugging, interracial hands shaking over wobbly lettering: It’s OK for Both of Us to Win.
On a bandstand, a middle-aged woman exhorted onlookers to “hop on board” the Peace Train. “It’s not OK to fight and do torture and violence. The peace train does not run on hate!” A group of earnest middle-aged people picked up the “Peace Train” and began dutifully trotting it around the bandstand to the Cat Stevens song. “The rainbow of love is our caboose! Now we’re going chugga-chugga-chug.”
I thought: I love peace, but why would any adult human who ever owned a nice belt want to be seen with this eyesore? Why does the peace movement have to dress and act like an irritating children’s birthday party? More to the point, how was this peace demonstration supposed to convert the hearts and minds of the executive powers across the street, when the main event — the tent city, and Code Pink, its most vital supporters — didn’t even bother to show up?
Two days later, I dropped by the Code Pink house in Washington. In the spirit of Princess Diana (who often wore dresses evocative of the flag of the countries she visited), I threw on a pink silk Lily Pulitzer thing from my Republican Slut collection to put the women at ease, hoping it wouldn’t come off like a Trojan Dress.
Located in a brick row house on Capitol Hill, the Code Pink house is its rallying point for Washington actions. It serves as a base for activists from Code Pink’s 250 local chapters around the globe. Inside, the atmosphere resembled a grubby, renegade sorority installation at FAO Schwartz — the underground headquarters of Barbie’s rebellion. The basement is where pink happens: stacked to the low ceiling beams with crates of pink garments, tubes of glitter, glue, colored pens, cardboard signs, oversize papier-mâché heads of Bush, Condoleezza and a sneering Cheney. Upstairs, coltish young interns in shorts and tie-dye T-shirts sat around on pink couches, typing furiously on laptops. A lone young man was stuffing manicotti in the kitchen.
In the parlor, Code Pink executive committee member Gael Murphy sat cross-legged on one of the couches. Murphy, who also works with United for Peace and Justice, was a warmly robust, welcoming and intelligent presence with a firm handshake. She quickly dismissed Code Pink’s absence from Lafayette Park. “That wasn’t our protest,” she said. “We were just going to come out and support it, but the main organizers decided not to go through with it.”
Murphy seemed tough enough to address my skepticism about Code Pink head-on, so I was obvious about it. Do the group’s self-admittedly obnoxious tactics, like those employed by other militant ideologues like PETA and ACT UP, actually win over as many converts to their cause as they alienate people who are their natural allies? Given a mainstream media climate that almost entirely ignores peace demonstrations, are such demonstrations actually demonstrating anything, if nobody is watching?
Murphy didn’t flinch. She launched into an articulate, sound and uninterruptible tirade on the issues consuming Code Pink. True: While Code Pink Members are regularly getting arrested, they — and the larger peace movement as a whole — still can’t get arrested, so to speak, when it comes to getting commensurate media coverage for the antiwar movement.
She was particularly urgent on the subject of the Democrat-controlled Congress, which had just ushered in another $165 billion in funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. I got the impression that as a member of the press just sitting there, listening, I was giving Ms. Murphy an almost medical form of relief for her inflamed buildup of talking points, prepared for a distant and disinterested media that doesn’t generally ask for them.
“We’ve arrived at a point where it obviously didn’t work,” she said of Code Pink’s disruptions in Congress. “We didn’t stop the Iraq war funding; we haven’t gotten the Democrats to change policy. We’re feeling our tiaras have lost their glow, and that our predictable attention-getting and disruption has run its course.”
Murphy cataloged the “legitimate” work the group does behind the scenes (which, I had to admit, I had failed to recognize in my blindness from the glare of their prom dresses). Code Pink, Murphy insisted, worked with Congress to help Iraqi women visit the U.S. to participate in Code Pink’s 2006 Iraqi Women’s Delegation war protests. They organized lobby days, wrote “Pink Papers” on the condition of women under occupation and U.S. military reparations for Iraqis, and gathered information for groups involved in the larger peace movement. Murphy told me that Code Pink opened an occupation watch center in Baghdad (as part of United for Peace and Justice — a group whose accomplishments Code Pink seems to feel comfortable occasionally taking credit for without direct acknowledgment).
“Our visibility, our pink, our street theater, is to get [the message] into the media that there is opposition, that there is an antiwar movement,” said Murphy, sounding a little desperate. The problem — the same as that of the military — seems mainly to be one of recruitment: Even groups like MoveOn.org have enormous trouble getting people out to protest. “There’s a huge gap between being against the war and doing something about it as a citizen,” Murphy added.
The strategy of loud pinkness, useful in terms of visibility, must evolve, said Murphy. “Yes, it’s good to be on Jon Stewart or ‘Saturday Night Live.’ But we’re being trivialized. That isn’t all of what the antiwar movement is, or all of what we are. If it’s not working anymore, if it’s served its purpose, we need to nimbly and quickly move on to something that is effective.” Murphy described a new Code Pink effort to educate city mayors on how the war was draining local coffers.
Medea Benjamin strode into the house, creating a flurry of excitement. A co-founder of Code Pink, Benjamin is a small, wry and wiry woman who looks more like a member of Congress than someone who shouts at them in the halls. She speaks five languages and has two postgraduate degrees (one master’s in public health from Columbia University; another in economics from the New School of Social Research).
“I’m a very serious person!” she insisted. “I used to work for the United Nations. I have lived and worked in refugee camps around the world. Did I ever think that at 56 years old I’d be wearing tiaras and going to Congress and holding up signs?”
I asked about the difficulty of “waging peace” — how, after all, is one proactively peaceful? She gave me an ironic smile; her eyes — naturally sad, downturned at the outside corners — flashed a bit flinty.
“One goes to Congress every day and one takes one’s head and hits it against the wall,” she said. “You know that saying, ‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results’? Because we believe in democracy, we think if we do the same thing over and over — demand that our elected representatives actually represent us — they will. But it’s hard to be peacemakers when we’re almost treated like terrorists. We keep getting arrested, thrown in jail, threatened. And we’re treated like that by Democrats.”
Like Murphy, Benjamin was an unceasing font of well-articulated and atrocious facts, relayed in an almost breathless run-on monologue. “The Democrats — who are supposed to be our friends! — are as bad as the Republicans. That latest $165 billion for war is just astounding. Not a peep from the public; the media almost buried the story. We were in Congress that day in the tunnels, going after every congressperson we could find, saying, ‘Don’t do it!’ Ready to throw bloody money onto the floor of the gallery when they voted. Not covered by the media at all. We were thinking, ‘Well, I hope history at least records that there were some people there who tried.’”
Lack of media coverage and its result — an inability to get exhausted working people off the couch to fight an invisible battle — has endlessly frustrated and discouraged Code Pink. “We have had eight demonstrations of over 100,000 people — some much larger — that got virtually no attention, no response from the White House,” Benjamin said. “C-SPAN is the only mainstream media that isn’t censored. We get cut out of everything else.”
Benjamin has been vocal on the subject of Iraqi refugees; she has been to Syria and Jordan to meet with them. “The U.S. is doing nothing to help these millions of people whose lives we destroyed,” she said. Despite trying, Code Pink has failed to draw mainstream attention to the refugees’ plight. “We called a very serious press conference [with an Iraqi] refugee whose husband had been killed because he worked for the U.S. government — we had one Japanese reporter that showed up, that was it,” Benjamin said. “That same day, a group in Berkeley was doing a witch’s exorcism of the Marine recruiting station. The media was all over that. That’s the climate that we live in.”
This was a bit hard to digest in light of the recent arrest of a Code Pink member at the same Marine recruiting station in Berkeley, who happened to be topless — but I understood her frustration. Code Pink finds that it can’t be taken seriously when it wants to be taken seriously, even though its legitimate work is substantial and deserves to be taken seriously. Such is the sharp double-edge of the glitter tiara.
Benjamin reserved her most evident bitterness for progressive Democrats. “Have you seen them join us in a sit-in at the White House? No. They did civil disobedience around apartheid in South Africa — they did civil disobedience for Darfur. Sixteen of them got arrested; we went to them, and we said, ‘Fabulous. Now can we do that around Iraq? Join us, do a dignified sit-in in front of the White House.’ They hemmed and hawed. We couldn’t even get Barbara Lee to do it.”
I found it easy to admire Benjamin’s quixotic pluck and grasp of the issues. Although I didn’t say it, it occurred to me that apartheid and Darfur were issues that were comfortable to Congress — and to mainstream media — because of their high-level celebrity endorsements: Darfur had Bono, apartheid had Springsteen, AIDS had Elizabeth Taylor. It was mainstream media stars — and the mainstream media that built them — that ultimately allowed these issues to get enough momentum for serious support.
Again, though, Code Pink seems at least partly to blame for its own lack of political support. Benjamin seems to expect congress members to attend Code Pink proceedings, and bring their limelight with them, because she’s morally right. But her demands begged the question — in terms of security, let alone political image — why would Nancy Pelosi support a movement that has been parked outside of her house, denouncing her publicly for two years? Why should the Democrats, for whom Benjamin reserves such special loathing, come over to her side of the iron tutu and do her the favor of legitimizing Code Pink?
Benjamin, slumping in her patio chair, shot me a weary expression. “Look, the most heinous thing that George Bush has done is the war in Iraq. The Democrats have not only given George Bush what he asked for, they gave him more than he asked for because they didn’t want to deal with the war issue in October, right before an election. Here we are, on the eve of an election for president, with Bush using diplomacy to cut a deal with North Korea and the Democrats pushing a war policy with Iran.”
What was her pet theory about this? “All [the Democrats] care about is power,” she said. “They want the war to be George Bush’s problem, not theirs. They could be doing so much more to get other Democrats to vote against the war, and to build this movement with us, to gather a million people out on the street. The people have been so snookered by Democrats and Republicans — so blind to the fact that neither party is working in the interest of the general public — that it’s been virtually impossible to build a strong movement.”
Benjamin and Murphy admitted that Code Pink’s approach needed revamping, but both seem addicted to the theatrics. Both were more than hot to discuss their upcoming action — a “blockade” of Rep. Gary Ackerman’s office to protest his resolution calling for a blockade of Iran. “We’ve seen this before,” Benjamin said. “Sanctions resulted in 500,000 Iraqi children being killed! What are we gonna do? Sit by and say, ‘Oh, let’s write another paper about this? Let’s take three months out and write a book?’ We have to speak out immediately.” Benjamin paused. “Gary Ackerman is the only member of Congress who is also a friend of my family,” she said with a grin.
Benjamin and Murphy seemed to share a compulsive germ: this rowdy game of dress-up and protest, an obsession as chronic and irresistible as canvas to painters, or beaches to surfers. Devotees and enthusiasts don’t measure success the same way as non-fanatics; as my mother, the incredibly broke jazz pianist once said, “You’re a successful artist if you get to keep doing it.”
I confessed to both women that I never would have known about Code Pink if they didn’t disrupt congressional proceedings in pink tiaras. “That’s right,” said Benjamin. “Without the tiaras, you wouldn’t be here. You know: ‘If it bleeds it leads.’ Code Pink is a manifestation of crisis, of a lack of democratic vehicles through which we can express ourselves. We’re a manifestation of a broken system. You might not like the way we manifest it, but we’d like people to reflect on how broken the system is.”
I was beginning to feel a bit like a big-mouth bass: Lured by a bright pink artificial fly, doing the hula on the surface. It struck me how necessary pink tiaras were in the informational black hole that enables the inscrutable machinations of Washington to move forward without public scrutiny. A successful movement depends on a media that will grant it public legitimacy. Without it, the peace movement is left to masochistic zealots like Benjamin and Murphy: They crash Congress every day and destroy their own dignity for just the tiniest effect — a nearly inaudible yelp from the dust speck of peaceful Whoville.
I came away from the Code Pink house believing that guerrilla theater is more critical than ever. For activists, Benjamin and Murphy represent the thin pink line separating the American peace movement from muteness, invisibility and depression unto disbandment. “We are committed to being a direct action movement,” said Benjamin. “We shed light through theater, through disruptions. We’re going to keep doing that as long as it serves.”
Code Pink may have lost a little heart, temporarily, but the ladies haven’t lost their way, or their flair: I was touched that Benjamin went out of her way to compliment my fishnet stockings.
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The writers’ strike was resolved, but not soon enough, apparently. The wounds were deep. Much blood was lost. Oscar was deprived of oxygen, and sustained a great deal of brain damage.
It must have been grim at that academy meeting, just a few weeks ago. No writers, just a bunch of liminal Hollywood power brokers in $6,000 Brioni suits sitting glumly around a large obsidian table in one of the Carrara-marble, earthquake-proof bunker-vaults deep in the ground under CAA, too depressed even to eat their grilled seafood salads.
“Editors,” someone finally said, the idea light bulb suddenly reflecting off his hairless scalp.
“Huh?”
“Fuck the writers. They’ll all eventually eat each other like the Donner party. We have editors. This Oscars? We break new territory.”
Eyes peer up hopefully through $3,000 Japanese glasses frames made of hammered titanium and hand-carved wood.
“This year? All new: all old. We just montage the living shit out of it. Wall-to-wall montages of Oscar footage recycled from the last 80 years.”
“Great.”
“Thank God.”
“Let’s go home.”
Five minutes later, a symphony of bloot-bloots and black Mercedes doors automatically popping open, then the roar of fresh German engines as the identical cars began their climate-controlled trips through the poisoned brown air, back to their home garages in Glendale and Brentwood.
The montages, it must be said, were so numerous and so mind-blowingly stupid as to border on sadism.
Jon Stewart, who hosted, presented it as a joke, but they actually did show a montage completely devoted to the uses of binoculars and periscopes in movies over the years.
The unlovable animated Seinfeld Bee character from the vastly disappointing “Bee Movie” introduced some technical award with — no joke — a bee montage.
There was a montage devoted to production design. A montage devoted to How the Oscar Ballots Get Cast.
For nearly every major award, there was a montage of all 79 other winners from the past.
In short: This year, Oscar honored the heart-touching magic of the film industry’s celebration of life by sucking every possible ounce of spontaneous life, marrow and energy out of the event by waterboarding it to the point of gag-reflex failure with canned montages.
Hollywood executives were firmly convinced for the past several months that writers were worthless. So, all in all, the evening was sort of like “Romeo and Juliet,” but without a script: a frictionless battle between the Montage-Yous and the Crapulets. They both lost. Actually, we all did.
Even though the event was way more lame than lamé, it feels wrong even taking potshots at the Oscars now. It’s like picking on Britney Spears, at this point — it’s so easy, it’s not even sporting. Oscar is elderly, and in dire need of hipness-replacement surgery. In his dotage he is tiresome, dull and earnest, and employs a lot of doddering repetition about how movies “touch the soul” and “inspire others to dream.”
Even Jack Nicholson, perhaps because of his symbiotic link to Oscar, looked frail when talking about the “common link that touches the (heh heh heh) ‘humanity’ in all of us.” You know when Jack is having a hard time looking convincingly inhumane at the Oscars that some power grid in hell is in the grips of a rolling blackout.
Hollywood is always a lopsided reflection of the political situation we’re in.
In this sense, performing artists, classically a fairly high-strung, hypersensitive lot, have always been pretty effective canaries in the cultural coal mine. What they’ve been telling us, lately, is that we have a very, very sick culture on our hands.
It was a terrible, tooth-gnashing year of hideous self-reflection, for America: the ugly flipside of cultural narcissism. Our country, on the back end of a rapacious tear of sophomoric jerkbag behavior, is moving into the slightly more mature adolescent phase of starting to hate its own smell.
I am the greatest country in the world / I am the piece of shit at the center of the universe.
After shaving its head and driving drunk around the globe with no panties, calling itself the Antichrist, and finally abandoning its children, totaling its SUV and getting its ass kicked in the parking lot of the Persian Gulf, America is realizing that it is internationally loathed, broke, soulless, tasteless, fat, drunk, malicious, greedy and stupid, and has been generally behaving like a lousy excuse for a world superpower for long enough to lose all its friends and position.
So, since America hates itself this year, Oscar gave the biggest trophies to foreigners:
Best supporting actress: Tilda Swinton — British.
Best supporting actor: Javier Bardem — Spanish.
Best actress: Marion Cotillard — French.
Best actor: Daniel Day-Lewis — British.
Conspicuously missing from this Oscars was any loose talk of politics or the war, until the designated time block for dissent during the presentation of the documentary film awards. This was especially weird: Why, if they didn’t want to acknowledge the outside world, did they get a truth teller like Jon Stewart to host the thing?
But it isn’t totally shocking when you consider that ABC, which owned the Oscars this year, is owned by Disney. The whole night seemed conspicuously laundered through Robert Iger’s Great Disney Sanitizer — as if the academy came down with heavy threats and successfully imposed a gag order on the evening (a moratorium on natural speech so suppressive and creepy that I took to calling it the “Iger Sanction”).
This Oscars was noteworthy, though, if only because it featured the worst musical interludes since the Great Debbie Allen Interpretive Dance Meltdown of 1999.
The Disney movie “Enchanted” somehow had three completely unsingable, perversely idiotic, overproduced, melody-free songs nominated.
Amy Adams sang the first of these: a frantically upbeat anthem about being vermin and doing menial labor — kind of a “Whistle While You Work” number that had suspiciously happy housewife/sweatshop/totalitarian overtones.
Kristin Chenoweth sang the second “Enchanted” mess: a musically schizophrenic orchestral pseudo-calypso duet with a Rastafarian who was virtually invisible onstage because nobody bothered to light him. This big song ‘n’ dance number was somehow supposed to convey the “cultural diversity of New York’s Central Park” via a kick line of white senior citizens, brides and grooms, a gymnastic troupe of dancing boys in hard hats and Con Edison drag, a flock of tuba players and, most offensively, a mariachi band wearing sombreros … the likes of which I have never, ever, ever seen in Central Park. In short, it was the kind of illegal gathering that, in the Rudy Giuliani era, would have gotten you shot.
The third “Enchanted” number had waltzing couples dressed like Cinderella and Prince Charming, which could only have been choreographed by John Ashcroft or a 6-year-old girl.
To karmically rebalance these mortal offenses, Bob Fosse must rise and vengefully return from his grave to fan-kick down the door of Robert Iger’s summer home and terrorize him with zombie jazz hands.
In the nominated movies, it was a big year for painfully long shots of people having private moments, and great swirls of emotion moving just enough under the eyeballs to be perceptible — a forced march straight into the head and soul of the actor.
In a year where most of the actresses were shielded from their own regrettable taste by professional stylists like Rachel Zoe, best supporting actress winner Tilda Swinton, at least, was bravely and refreshingly fashion-forward enough to look bonkers. She wore no makeup and what looked like a velvet Isamu Noguchi coffee table, and spoke in insouciant, artistic free verse about Oscar’s naked buttocks in the great weirdo-artiste tradition of Dustin Hoffman.
That was pretty much it for iconoclasm during the evening. They really should learn to invite Björk every year.
The best moments were the unplanned injections of humanity: the ruinously beautiful Marion Cotillard’s sincere, if stumbling, acceptance speech; Jon Stewart arranging for Marketa Irglova — the woman from “Once” who, with Glen Hansard, sang “Falling Slowly,” a baldly nice and stirringly emotional ballad — to come back and give her acceptance speech after she’d been rushed off the stage.
The issue of Iraq was finally allowed to chug out all at once: A handful of grunts in Iraq presented the award for best documentary short subject via satellite. Hollywood deity Tom Hanks was ceremonially trotted out to lend gravity to the award for best documentary feature, a category that pitted three films about the Iraq war against Michael Moore’s “Sicko.”
The winner, Alex Gibney, the filmmaker responsible for “Taxi to the Dark Side,” urged the audience to “hope we can turn this country away from the dark side.”
Helen Mirren introduced the award for best actor with the following:
“Ambition. Amorality. Greed. Deviousness. Misery. Venality. Remorse … All facets of the rainbow of human behavior.”
And Daniel Day-Lewis won for his savage role in “There Will Be Blood.”
Day-Lewis is a wonderfully fluid actor, but frankly, that role, while a perfectly credible Wild West, crotchety old brown-toothed prospector ultimately devoured by his own rottenness, wasn’t the most mind-blowing performance of the year. The movie was, however, based on the Upton Sinclair story “Oil,” and the role was an excellent allegory for a nation that gets ruthlessly strung out on greed for the black crude, loses its soul, abandons its children and brings about its own demise through unchecked hostility.
I know I am not alone in my contention that Viggo Mortensen deserved a special Oscar for his full-frontal nude fight scene in “Eastern Promises.”
Tommy Lee Jones was recognized with a nomination for “In the Valley of Elah,” an important bummer of an Iraq movie that certainly won’t make anyone feel good (but makes you a better human being if you see it).
Tommy Lee Jones was really superb in that role: His wonderful face has always been almost but not quite handsome, in a messed-up way — in this film, he looks almost like an early proto-human skull that was reassembled from bashed fragments and covered with grayish-pink modeling putty. Some unfortunate truck stop on the evolutionary highway. A great craggy simian brow and trout mouth. But his black eyes were crammed to the support beams with an incredibly complex emotional reality — a skillfully compartmentalized man in a state of controlled crisis. Really amazing.
And Clooney — sigh. He deserved the trophy as well, but Hollywood knows he’s a lifer and he’ll be around for a while. There’s time for Clooney later.
Joel and Ethan Coen, of course, were the night’s big winners, taking home the awards for best adapted screenplay, best directing and best picture for “No Country for Old Men.”
While I like the Coens, it is important to bear in mind that in their lifetimes, Ingmar Bergman, Akira Kurosawa, Federico Fellini and Alfred Hitchcock never received Oscars for best director. Kevin Costner did, though.
Not that anyone asked me, but “Michael Clayton” was, in my opinion, the best film of the year. There was a lot more to it than its just being Clooney’s “Erin Brockovich.”
Screw imperial corporate greed-bag awfulness, and that goes for Hollywood too, George Clooney, via Michael Clayton, said under his breath, loud enough to hear. Glitz is meaningless. Greed is deadly. Vanity is overrated. But you can humbly, slowly accrue some virtue, some small but real heroism, by navigating the sometimes-invisible line between doing your job well and doing the right thing.
Despite having one of the best social diatribe screenplays since “Network,” what was interesting about “Michael Clayton” was the way it dialed your focus way down to the quiet private battles of the imperfect everyperson — the unwitnessed, unrewarded slog of trying to amass good decisions and do some small immediate good day to day — and failing sometimes, despite fighting the good fight, and winning sometimes in a way that goes largely unrecognized.
Like good photography, “Michael Clayton” elevates the normal into the sublime by seeing its own world with such razor clarity that it expands the viewer’s perceptions by reframing them with a bigger, more generous awareness.
Nan Goldin, for example, looked at her ragged life and saw art springing all around her, even in the mirror at her own punched-out face. Real life, for all its broken noses, cigarette butts and bad decisions, is more beautiful than the L’Oréal illusion, or six hours in the grip of Rachel Zoe — provided you can muster enough emotional intelligence to feel your way out of a paper bag, and you’re not so desperately afraid of offending people or not looking pretty that you can’t move your face or be funny anymore.
Compassion. It’s the new Scientology. A new theology for the rich and famous. Ruthless greed and inhumanity, Hollywood seems to have recently realized, are as suicidal as an OxyContin habit: It can really only take a career, or an art form, or a nation, so far.
Well, in terms of national consciousness, maybe it’s a start.
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For more Salon coverage of the Oscars, click here.
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