Sopranos' Ralphie: Why'd they pair me with Janice in that sex-toy scene? Reese "what a loser" Witherspoon turns to cinammon rolls. Plus: Old flame bounces back to court with Jordan.

Topics: Michael Jackson, Celebrity, Jennifer Lopez,

Actors like to complain about the hardships of doing sex scenes, but few are required to do what Joey Pantoliano and Aida Turturro had to do in bed together on “The Sopranos” this season.

Still, Pantoliano says he really didn’t have a problem with his character, Ralphie, being violated with an … um … vibrating sex toy during a particularly racy scene with Turturro’s Janice.

Well, OK, maybe he had one problem. He might have preferred someone else to do the violating.

“As an actor, I would have preferred it to be Adriana … or Carmela … or Dr. Melfi,” Pantoliano tells the Weekly Standard magazine. “I called up ["Sopranos" mastermind] David [Chase] and said, ‘David, why Janice? What are you doing to me?’”

Chase, for his part, just laughed, Pantoliano recalls, but ultimately, he says, that was to be expected.

“That was the key with these characters,” he says. “The writers love getting them in compromising situations. They love getting them up the tree and then figuring out how you get them down.”

Or off.

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Who’s taking bets?

“The difference between me and People magazine is that he’ll still be the sexiest man alive in my eyes when he’s 100 years old.”

Jennifer Lopez on the enduring nature of her love for Ben Affleck, to People magazine.

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She’s losering it

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Reese Witherspoon wants us all to know that fame and her reported $15 million-per-picture salary have not changed her a bit.

“I’m still the loser I always was,” the button-cute actress tells Rolling Stone magazine in its upcoming issue. “I’ve never been a really cool person.”

And she can be a bit moody, too.

“Sometimes I cry from sleep deprivation,” she says. “The dogs wake you up, then the kid wakes you up.”

But she has her own special method of easing the pain.

“I eat a lot of cinnamon rolls,” she says.

She never was a really fat person, either.

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Name the flakiest body part

“I can only think it’s his brains, not his nose, that needs the most treatment.”

Jutta Schmidt, a cleaning lady who watched as Michael Jackson dangled his baby off a Berlin hotel balcony, trying to make sense of what she saw in an interview with the New York Post.

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Who’s fouling whom?

To Air is human, but Michael Jordan’s ex-girlfriend Karla Knafel does not seem to be in a particularly forgiving mood.

Knafel, the singer whom Jordan accused last month of trying to extort money from him, has filed a countersuit in Chicago Circuit Court, alleging that the basketball superstar promised to pay her $5 million in exchange for her silence about their affair, in which she claimed at one point to have become pregnant with his child.

Now Knafel wants the $5 million she says she was promised, plus interest, but she’s no longer in the mood to keep silent.

Among the more alarming accusations spelled out in Knafel’s countersuit, posted on the Smoking Gun, is that Jordan told her, just a few months after he married his wife Juanita back in 1989, that she shouldn’t “be worried about his marriage, that he had a ‘business arrangement’ with Mrs. Jordan, that he considered Mrs. Jordan to be ‘hired help’ and that his agent and manager, David Falk, advised him to marry Juanita in order to maintain his favorable public image.”

Yikes! Who’s going in for the rebound?

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“When I saw her in that I thought, ‘phwoar.’ I wish she’d wear things like that at home.”

Guy Ritchie on his wife’s sexy leather-bustier get-up in the new Bond flick “Die Another Day,” to the U.K. Sun.

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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

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