Brittany Murphy
“Just Married”
The groom is a doofus, the bride has genuine screwball talent, but there's nothing funny about a dead dog.
No actress can take a punch like Brittany Murphy. In “Just Married,” she gets zonked in the nose at least twice and thumps her head on the edge of a doorway as her young husband, played by Ashton Kutcher, carries her bumptiously over the threshold on their wedding night. Those are decidedly tired, unfunny gags — and yet Murphy, who understands that slapstick is an art, plays them so brightly that she makes you feel you’ve never seen them before. When she’s accidentally zapped with a football (thrown, of course, by Kutcher), she doesn’t pull the old “Oh! My nose!” Marcia Brady routine. Instead she pops back up with a dizzy, radiant smile, as if it were all in a day’s work. She’s got a knack for playing ditzy lightness with some intelligence behind it. In a Hollywood universe where virtually no one knows how to either direct or play screwball comedy, she’s the closest thing to a Carole Lombard that we’ve got.
It’s too bad that the movie around her, Shawn Levy’s “Just Married,” is so disappointing. Its premise is workable, and its script (by Sam Harper) manages to toss off a few good lines, but it takes a number of awkward running steps at the beginning and then founders irrevocably midway through. Murphy is a rich girl (her parents are David Rasche and Veronica Cartwright, the latter of whom has absolutely nothing to do but does get one of the movie’s funniest lines, a gag about her character’s ridiculous nickname) who falls for average-joe Kutcher.
The two fall in love immediately after that football incident, move in together shortly thereafter, and decide to marry, much to Murphy’s father’s dismay. Then they set off on a European honeymoon that drives them further and further apart. Part of the problem is that while Murphy understands certain rules of politeness and good behavior while traveling in a foreign country, Kutcher, a sports-loving dude who has no qualms about wearing a knit cap with an American flag on it, doesn’t make many friends on the Continent. Within hours of his arrival, he’s blown the wiring in a swanky French resort hotel by trying to plug a cheap vibrator into the wall.
“Just Married” seems potentially promising at the beginning: It starts out at the end of the newlyweds’ journey, and we see the warring couple scowling and simmering as they make their way through the airport. The sequence is an echo of the opening of “The Philadelphia Story,” in which Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn go at each other with warrior animosity that’s barely playful. No longer united in wedded bliss, they’re as separate as can be, and they go at each other physically and psychically, nudging and jostling one another as if each felt the universe was too tiny to hold the both of them.
But by the middle of the movie, the memory of that opening sequence has lost its charge, simply because you wonder what on earth Murphy is doing with a dodo like Kutcher. For one thing, he causes an accident that results in the death of her pet French bulldog. It’s played lightly, and for laughs (even though the dog-lover in me still flinched), but the problem is that it’s the sort of joke that a doofus like Kutcher’s character would find hilarious. (And it doesn’t have the looped-out absurdity of, say, the dog-in-a-cast routine in “There’s Something About Mary.”) One of the movie’s central plot points is that he lies to Murphy about how the dog died. But he wasn’t all that nice to the poor critter while it was still alive. And who would feel good about marrying Murphy off to a guy like that?
Kutcher (who’s best known for his work on “That ’70s Show”) is good-looking in that now-generic ’70s hipster way. (He looks like he’s on the verge of getting arrested for impersonating a Stroke.) But he thinks simply acting like a regular guy is the same as playing one — he doesn’t know how to give his character any extra zing, and he hurls his jokes at us like an athletic beach bum engrossed in a killer game of jai alai.
He’s leagues behind Murphy, whose half-out-of-it charm also has a peculiar razor sharpness. In “Just Married,” there’s no doubt about which character, and which actor, has the chops. Murphy, with her runny nose and even runnier mascara, certainly knows how to work her innocent, girly-girl looks. But a football in the nose isn’t nearly enough to get her down. She could kick the ass of any guy any day; she deserves a worthy ass to kick.
Stephanie Zacharek is a senior writer for Salon Arts & Entertainment. More Stephanie Zacharek.
Brittany Murphy’s husband found dead
39-year-old screenwriter Simon Monjack passes away five months after his Hollywood actress wife
Actress Brittany Murphy and her husband Simon Monjack arrive for the Max Azria 2008/2009 fall collection show during New York Fashion Week in February, 2008. The husband of Brittany Murphy was found dead at his Los Angeles home late Sunday, five months after the Hollywood actress died, police said.
Firefighters responding to an emergency call found British screenwriter Simon Monjack dead at the Hollywood Hills residence, police spokesman Sgt. Louie Lozano said.
The preliminary cause of the 39-year-old Monjack’s death is natural causes, he told The Associated Press.
“We concluded there no signs of foul play or any criminal activity involved,” said Sgt. Alex Ortiz, another police spokesman.
Continue Reading CloseFull autopsy for actor Brittany Murphy released
Pneumonia, anemia, prescription medications along with menstrual period led to her death
Brittany Murphy’s autopsy report details how pneumonia, severe anemia and prescription medications killed the “8 Mile” actress.
The report released Thursday states the 32-year-old actress’ menstrual period left her in a weakened state after contracting pneumonia. The report states prescription medications found in Murphy’s system were consistent with treatment of a cold or respiratory illness, but contributed to her death.
The actress had been complaining of severe abdominal pain for seven to 10 days before her death. But the report states the actress’ husband and mother thought it was related to Murphy’s period, which they told investigators was often severe.
Murphy died Dec. 20 and her death has been ruled accidental.
Did doctor shopping kill Brittany Murphy?
The star may have had a lethal collection of legal drugs from many sources, all of whom were powerless to stop her
Actress Brittany Murphy poses on the press line at the "Moto 9" party at The Lot studios in West Hollywood, Calif. on Thursday, Nov. 8, 2007. (AP Photo/Dan Steinberg)(Credit: Dan Steinberg) There was a time when a celebrity’s sudden death almost invariably meant illegal drugs, a secret stash of heroin (Janis Joplin), a fatal speedball (John Belushi). More recently, stars’ poison of choice is the legal and prescribed kind: Health Ledger OD’d on cold medicine; Anna Nicole Smith took sleep aids; Michael Jackson pumped himself full of anesthetics. And so it seems with Brittany Murphy, the bubbly and bright actress who died of cardiac arrest at 32.
The coroner’s notes allegedly claim a pharmacopia in Murphy’s bathroom cabinet: Topamax (for seizures or migraines), methylprednisolone (a steroid), fluoxetine (an antidepressant), Klonopin (for anxiety), carbamazepine (for seizures or bipolar disorder), Ativan (for anxiety), Vicoprofen (pain reliever), propranolol (for hypertension, migraines or anxiety), Biaxin (an antibiotic), and hydrocodone (a narcotic pain reliever). Gone are the days of shameful crack pipes and empty gin bottles. “No alcohol containers, paraphernalia or illegal drugs were discovered,” the report stated. If only that could help.
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Rahul K. Parikh is a physician and writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. He wrote the Vital Signs column on Salon in 2008-2009. His pop culture-medical column, PopRx, runs on alternate Mondays.
More Rahul K. Parikh.Brittany Murphy’s sad, sudden end
She never became Hollywood's It girl, but she was as daffy and heartbreaking as her A-list contemporaries
U.S. actress Brittany Murphy arrives to launch the summer sale of the Harrods department store in central London, Monday, June 27, 2005. Harrods Chairman, Mohamed Al Fayed on Monday took Murphy on a tour of the store's best bargains. (AP Photo/Matt Dunham)(Credit: Matt Dunham) She was an adorably clueless high schooler. She was a self-destructive mental patient. She was a newlywed. A nanny. A rapper’s girlfriend. A barmaid. And a two-dimensional Texas blonde. She was never a marquee star, finding herself instead in the role of the scene-stealing second or third banana. But whether she was playing a penguin or a beauty contestant, Brittany Murphy, who died Sunday morning at the cruelly young age of 32, took every role she played and made her characters loveable and flawed and startlingly, daringly human.
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Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.
“Little Black Book”
Why has Brittany Murphy traded in a perfectly respectable, promising career to appear in dopey movies like this?
The company behind “Little Black Book,” Revolution Studios, has described it as a “dark” comedy. Dismal is more like it, notably for the way the movie takes morally specious behavior, dresses it up to make it cute, teaches the heroine that she did a bad thing that hurt people (a notion that’s treated as refreshingly novel) — and then, in the end, rewards her for her bravery and honesty in having come clean with her dirty deed. If this is dark, it’s dark lite.
Continue Reading CloseStephanie Zacharek is a senior writer for Salon Arts & Entertainment. More Stephanie Zacharek.
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