J.Lo ain’t no ho

Ben fronts for Jennifer. Plus: McConaughey pushes the naked bongo workout.

Topics: Michael Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, Arnold Schwarzenegger,

Don’t tell Ben Affleck that chivalry is dead.

The actor is doing everything he can — short of take out another full-page ad in the trade mags — to buttress his fiancée’s shaky reputation with the masses. It seems Affleck just can’t understand why Jennifer Lopez, the woman he so publicly loves to love, is someone so many people love to hate.

In Affleck’s opinion, all those J.Ho jokes and rumors about Lopez’s diva-ish ways are just … not … fair.

“She’s deeply misunderstood … in my opinion,” he says in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair.

Never mind the hanky dresses and the booty accentuation, those two split-second marriages and the long-term relationship with Puffy: Affleck sees Lopez as much more Madonna (not that Madonna) than whore.

“In the physical sense, she’s extremely chaste,” the man who once dated Gwyneth insists. “She is characterized as oversexed. I mean, the woman’s had five boyfriends in her whole life!”

And another thing Affleck will have us know, Lopez is not some spoiled Hollywood creature. Oh no.

“When Jennifer was starting out in the business, she wasn’t told she was superhuman. No one told her the world was her oyster because she was a Latino woman with a figure different than Kate Moss,” he told reporters during a press conference for his film “Daredevil.” “As a result, she learned to trade on her incredible work ethic. Everything she has, she got by herself. Unfortunately, this has been confused with naked ambition and I can tell you that certainly is not the case.”

Oh, and she’s brave, too.

Lopez, not he, “is always the one who goes downstairs to check if we hear a noise during the night,” he says.

Save it for the vows, Ben.

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Maybe if he keeps splicing on younger body parts …

“I would like to live forever.”

Michael Jackson expressing his heartfelt desire for immortality, in a British TV documentary.

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Beat this

Matthew McConaughey apparently doesn’t need anyone — including Ben Affleck — to apologize for that pot-fueled naked bongo session the police busted in on back in 1999.

He’s not ashamed of the smudges on his character. Not at all.

In fact, he apparently still enjoys a little semi-public nudity now and then. According to Entertainment Tonight, his “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” costar Kate Hudson and her husband, Chris Robinson, found him naked and howling at the moon during a visit to a remote cottage owned by Hudson’s mom, Goldie Hawn.

And he’s still a fan of the occasional bongo session.

“That’s a great form of exercise,” he tells the Toronto Sun. “Dancing and loving were the first original forms of exercise, long before any gymnasium was built. And I reckon more people ought to be getting in shape that way.”

Naked aerobics? Not at my gym, thank you.

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He’ll be back

“He’s looking forward to just getting back to work and being able to work out.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s publicist, Jill Eisenstadt, on her buff client’s progress after surgery for a torn rotator cuff, to the Associated Press.

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What Trista didn’t know

Recently rejected “Bachelorette” contestant Greg S. Todtman is acting like a star already.

The 28-year-old New Yorker was reportedly nabbed by John F. Kennedy airport personnel on Friday and accused of trying to smuggle cocaine aboard a flight en route to Los Angeles.

ABC spokesman Kevin Brockman has insisted that Todtman wasn’t carrying cocaine, but rather a sleeping pill for which he lacked a prescription.

“He said the last few days have been such a whirlwind for him, that all he wanted to do was get on the plane, take the pill and go to sleep,” Brockman told the Associated Press.

Winona, have we got a bachelor for you.

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Miss something? Read Thursday’s Nothing Personal.

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