What's in a name? When it comes to Jimmy Kimmel's schlong, not much.
"I never felt the need to name my penis," the newly minted late-night talk-show host tells Maxim magazine.
Then again, he says, "My penis has a name for me. It calls me Jim."
Very imaginative on his penis' part.
But Kimmel gets a little more creative when there's ... um ... action involved. He admits to having come up with a rather unusual expression for pleasuring himself: "rubbing Rob Reiner."
"I made that up, but he doesn't know about it," Kimmel tells the magazine. "So don't tell him."
Wouldn't dream of it, though I'm sure there's a Meathead joke in there somewhere ...
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From the mouths of babes
"I cussed at a lady ... My daughter always said I had a potty mouth."
-- Courtney Love, explaining her recent air-rage arrest at London's Heathrow Airport to the press, upon her release by the police.
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Pool tool
Speaking of rubbing Rob Reiner ...
Owen Wilson apparently did a little more of that than he expected during his early days trying to make it big in Hollywood. After taking a job as a pool cleaner, he had delusions of sexual grandeur, but they never quite panned out.
"Based on the dirty stories in Penthouse, I thought I'd be beating the ladies off with a stick," the actor/writer/director tells Biography magazine, "but that wasn't my experience."
Hope those Hollywood mamas at least tipped him well.
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Can't argue with that logic
"She dyed her hair brown instead of blonde -- that does not confirm somebody's pregnant."
-- Madonna spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg, in a statement to the press on Heat magazine's recent, apparently untrue speculation that her client is pregnant based on the fact that the pop star has gone brunette and been spotted in baggy clothing.
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All's Farrell
Fred Durst will be so relieved.
Colin "casual sex" Farrell swears he and Britney Spears are not an item, and that reports that they recently fooled around are "a load of bollocks."
The "Recruit" star insists it was all pure, innocent fun at the film's premiere last week, where he was photographed with his arm around Spears and rumored to have gotten much closer than that.
"There was 25 of us there at that screening the other night," Farrell tells TV Guide Online.
And Spears' visit to the set of his film "S.W.A.T."?
"She came with her brother and had a look on the set and met everyone," Farrell tells the Web site. "It was nothing. They've all been around for the last week because of the 'Recruit' premiere. We're all enjoying ourselves."
Some of us perhaps a bit too much.
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