Movies
“2 Fast 2 Furious”
John Singleton's sequel to the brainless but exciting "The Fast and the Furious" is utterly indefensible -- and no fun either.
If I believed in the concept of “guilty pleasures,” “The Fast and the Furious” would have been one. (I’ll be damned if I feel guilty about what I enjoy.) The fun of that film was watching a hot-rod movie on a scale Roger Corman could only have dreamed about when he was cranking out exploitation pictures. It was brainless and fairly sleek and, unusual for action movies today, the action scenes were cleanly, clearly shot. You could always tell just what was going on. There was no way to defend “The Fast and the Furious” as a good movie, but it seemed to tickle some people, even though they knew it was trash. A friend of mine went to see it in California with her husband while they were waiting out the days before she went into labor. She later told me that the audience consisted almost entirely of teenagers who, inspired by the picture, raced out to their cars as soon as it was over and, en masse, peeled out of the parking lot. And I know one highbrow critic who even considered putting it on his 10-best list for the sheer pleasure of pissing people off.
However, guilt might be an appropriate reaction for anyone who actually enjoys the sequel “2 Fast 2 Furious.” It’s a terrible movie, stuck in plot idiocies and big, noisy set pieces like a tire mired in mud. The only member of the original cast who returns is the lead, Paul Walker (dead from the neck up). No longer an undercover cop, he’s making his living as a street racer when U.S. Customs enlists him to nab a big-time bad guy (Cole Hauser, who looks like the star of a porno you’d never want to watch). Walker, in turn, enlists an old, estranged buddy (Tyrese, in the role of Angry Black Man Who Has a Problem With Authority) who blames Walker for busting him years earlier.
The movie is essentially a pissing contest between the type of guys who likely have their chests waxed. Walker can be fairly hilarious (unintentionally, that is) as he tries to talk ghetto, like an Abercrombie & Fitch model (Darien’s most wanted?) who’s gone shopping for hip-hop CDs. Watching him here, you realize how much easier his dead-air presence went down in the first movie because that concrete teddy bear Vin Diesel was around to liven things up.
After the snazzy job he did on the remake of “Shaft,” I had hoped the director, John Singleton, might bring some of the same chops to this project. It starts promisingly, with racers and onlookers gathering in the streets of Miami for a nighttime drag race. With hoochie mamas and muscle cars on equal display, the thing looks like a NASCAR rally hosted by BET. But Singleton never finds any rhythm or juice in the script. (He tries to liven things up with one really unpleasant scene where the bad guys torture a corrupt cop with a rat.) And the action sequences aren’t confusingly shot (by Matthew J. Leonetti) and edited (by Bruce Cannon), but they lack anything as sheerly flabbergasting as the moment in the first movie when a sports car tucked itself neatly under an 18-wheeler and zoomed along between two sets of monster-size wheels.
The rapper Ludacris is on hand as a former racer turned mechanic and, as has been the case with a lot of hip-hoppers who’ve appeared in movies, he’s got an easy, ingratiating presence. And I loved looking at the petite model Devon Aoki, as a female racer, with her tough little China-doll features. (I especially enjoyed looking at her in the tartan miniskirt she wears in one scene. Her car is neat, too. A pink convertible with plush, fuzzy seats that looks like a princess phone on wheels.) Singleton, though, seems more interested in watching as Eva Mendes, playing the undercover Customs agent posing as the sleazo villain’s girlfriend, performs something very akin to fellatio on a grape. Somebody call AAA.
Charles Taylor is a columnist for the Newark Star-Ledger. More Charles Taylor.
Pick of the week: Haunting, gorgeous “Oslo, August 31st”
Pick of the week: "Oslo, August 31st" is a wrenching voyage of discovery in Norway's suddenly trendy capital
“Oslo, August 31st” is, as the title suggests, an evocation of one day in the Norwegian capital, as experienced by a troubled young man who’s facing the end of summer and the end of his youth. It’s a marvelously constructed personal journey, both wrenching and bittersweet, whose emotional ripple effects stay with you for days and weeks afterward. While much of international art cinema can seem overly talky or conceptually alien to American viewers, this second feature film from Norwegian director Joachim Trier is a dynamic, even breathtaking visual experience without much dialogue or any philosophical heavy lifting, following the bony, handsome, exceedingly vulnerable Anders (Anders Danielsen Lie) through coffee shops, nightclubs and bodies of water, en route to an ambiguous final destination.
Continue Reading Close“Moonrise Kingdom”: Wes Anderson’s mid-’60s love story
Bruce Willis and Ed Norton are at their best in the rapturous summer fantasy "Moonrise Kingdom"
Tilda Swinton, Bruce Willis and Edward Norton in "Moonrise Kingdom" All the details of Wes Anderson’s rapturous and hilarious mid-1960s New England summer romance “Moonrise Kingdom,” taken one at a time, are plausible. Indeed they are more than plausible; they’re perfect, from the fitted uniforms and yellow canvas tents of the troop of “Khaki Scouts” headed by cigarette-smoking Edward Norton to the achingly picturesque island home where the brood of children belonging to Bill Murray and Frances McDormand sit around listening to the Leonard Bernstein recording of “A Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra.” (I’m not going to bother questioning whether that record existed in 1965; some production intern probably spent half a day tracking down its history.)
Continue Reading CloseMovie assailant punches a kid, becomes a folk hero
A 10-year-old gets punched in the face for being too noisy at "Titanic" -- and the Internet applauds the beating
(Credit: iStockphoto/IBushuev) It’s a general rule of thumb that a grown man doesn’t get a lot of support for knocking out a 10-year-old child’s teeth. But Yong Hyun Kim has won himself a few fans lately for doing just that.
Back on April 11, the 21-year-old Washington state man settled in with his girlfriend to enjoy “Titanic” in 3D — right in front of a boy known only in police documents as KJJ. What ensued led to a night in jail and a charge of second-degree assault.
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Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.
“The Intouchables”: Racial comedy, French style
"The Intouchables" is the biggest foreign-language film of all time. Some critics say it's also racist
A still from "The Intouchables" Here’s a startling news item: “The Intouchables,” a lively if largely predictable Parisian comedy about a wealthy quadriplegic and his ne’er-do-well immigrant caretaker, has become the biggest international success in the history of French cinema. Indeed, according to some sources — and these things are notoriously difficult to measure on a global and historical scale — “The Intouchables” is now the biggest non-Anglophone film of all time, with a worldwide gross approaching $300 million.
Continue Reading CloseMale grooming: The movie
From beard contests to ball cream, Morgan Spurlock's "Mansome" goofs through modern-day male narcissism
Jack Passion in "Mansome" American men are bewildered about their place in the cosmos, or so we have been told repeatedly over the last 20 years. They don’t know whether to thread their eyebrows or wield a welding torch, and end up trying to do both at once (which is inadvisable). As comedian Adam Carolla laments in a scene from Morgan Spurlock’s documentary “Mansome,” the old-time certainties of gender identity have melted away: Women are flying fighter jets and men work at the hair salon; there are no longer “chick jobs and guy jobs.”
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