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GOP pranksters plan a "Gilligan" attack on Kerry, Bono gives Turlington away, and Beckham is batted about like a football. Plus: Who will play Ronald Reagan in the miniseries?

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Leave it to the GOP pranksters to prove once again that they are high school bullies in bad suits. Their plans for the 2004 race include sending “attack mascots” to Democratic candidate appearances to heckle and unnerve. They are proudest of their idea to send a Thurston Howell III look-alike to a John Kerry speech. But Kerry’s spokesman, David Wade, suggested the GOP “should lay off the ‘Gilligan’s Island’ imagery before we cast George W. Bush as Gilligan in the remake.” (U.S. News/ Washington Whispers)

Not only does U2′s Bono work tirelessly as a rock star, an international ambassador for Third World debt reduction, and a crusader against AIDS, but he also takes time out to give away brides! He played dad for supermodel Christy Turlington (whose father died from lung cancer two years ago) at her wedding to Ed Burns in San Francisco this weekend. The bride wore Galliano, the groom wore a tasteful dark suit, and there were no reports on whether Bono wore his trademark shades. (E Online)

We can’t seem to dramatize real life fast enough for the made-for-TV-movie market. First there were reports that Sharon Stone will play Hillary Clinton in an A&E biopic. Now there’s news of a movie about former prez Ronald Reagan‘s relationship with wife Nancy Reagan, and the front-runner for the latter role is Judy Davis, who seems just right — both temperamentally and dress size-wise. Ronnie’s role hasn’t been cast, but one wonders where the producers will find someone who can capture Reagan’s aura. If HBO dramas are any model, the producers will probably end up hiring a Brit — they seem to play American better than homegrown actors. (N.Y. Daily News)

My goodness, it seems as if superstar footballer David Beckham‘s future is being tossed around like — a football! First Manchester United (Beckham’s current club) announced that several teams both in Italy and Spain wanted him. But on Saturday the owner of one of the leading teams in the Beckham chase, AC Milan — who happens to be Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi — said, “There are many better ways of spending money, earned with such sacrifice, rather than signing Mr. Beckham.” All these guys had better figure it out, so Posh Spice will know where she’s going to be hanging her cute clothes. (Guardian)

– Karen Croft

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After trading his pink and purple Pucci dress for a spiffy tux, Harvey Fierstein (best actor in a musical for his role as Edna Turnblad in “Hairspray”) gravel-voicedly offered to bear all our children — and “raise them well.” Edie Falco got in a snarky remark about not having been nominated for best lead actress in a play for her role opposite her Tony date Stanley Tucci in the revival of “Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune.” (Vanessa Redgrave took home that award for her work in Eugene O’Neill’s “Long Day’s Journey Into Night.”) But small, round “Hairspray” star Marissa Jaret Winokur got in the evening’s best line, offering Camryn Manheim a run for her “this is for all the fat girls” rallying cry at the Emmy awards a few years back. “If a 4-foot-11, chubby New York girl can be the leading lady in a Broadway show and win a Tony, then anything can happen,” she said while accepting the award for best lead actress in a musical. Here’s the complete list of Tony winners. And click here to check out what each winner had to say.

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The good news for Edie Falco (and for “Sopranos” fans far and wide)? We may be getting more “Sopranos” than we were told to expect. “I’d planned out an arc for Season Five that would have ended the show,” the HBO show’s creator David Chase said. “But as we’re getting into it, we’re finding there’s a lot more material. We could cram it into 13 episodes, but I don’t know that it’s the right thing to do. So there may be additional episodes.” Chase warns that the extra shows might take a little extra time — and mean that viewers won’t see a new episode of the mob hit until February or March of next year. Just so long as they don’t include Uncle Junior singing … (N.Y. Daily News)

Guess who’s Liz Phair’s favorite actor. Go on … guess. Nope. It’s Keanu Reeves. “I love Keanu Reeves,” the smart chick/alt rocker gushes in the upcoming issue of Blender magazine. “He’s such a hunk.” For those who demand an explanation, Phair offers this: “I feel too bookish, so I tend to like guys who are opposite from me. I find myself very turned on by big and stupid.”

Will we soon not have George W. Bush to kick around anymore? John Dean, former counsel to President Nixon, contends that the stink around those not-yet-located weapons of mass destruction in Iraq smells vaguely familiar to him. “In the three decades since Watergate, this is the first potential scandal I have seen that could make Watergate pale by comparison,” Dean writes in his column on FindLaw’s Writ. “If the Bush Administration intentionally manipulated or misrepresented intelligence to get Congress to authorize, and the public to support, military action to take control of Iraq, then that would be a monstrous misdeed.” What does Dean think that means for our current POTUS? “To put it bluntly, if Bush has taken Congress and the nation into war based on bogus information, he is cooked.” He should know.

And speaking of putrid aromas, MSNBC insists that the reason it hasn’t debuted Jesse Ventura’s prime-time talk show as promised is not because the former Minnesota governor’s TV presence stinks. Rather, network execs insist that they’re merely wrestling with a few minor details, like getting a set big enough to hold the 6-foot-4 former WWF star and his feather boa, too. He is “a big man,” the New York Times points out, “so big that producers have struggled to find a set that can properly accommodate him without appearing like a dollhouse.”

Notoriously tempestuous Ventura might want to take note of Sharon Stone’s recent declaration in the July issue of Good Housekeeping: “Once you’ve had a brain hemorrhage, you just don’t have a temper anymore. You realize that once your head blows up, having a temper tantrum is the last thing on earth that would be interesting to you!” (Liz Smith)

— Amy Reiter

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