Low-carbing is the diet craze that will not die. And while the rules can be rigid — restricting the intake of white sugar, wheat, pasta and bread, and in some cases, fresh fruit — an ever-growing number of Americans are jumping on the Atkins train, convinced they’ve found the answer to their weight troubles. Suddenly, orange juice is the enemy and rump steak is looking pretty good. Fast-food giants like Burger King are even offering low-carb substitute meals (a steakburger wrapped in lettuce!).
But man cannot live on rump steak alone; occasionally, he may also want corn chips. And these days, thanks to the wizards in the prepackaged-food industry and their new faux-carb substitutes (including unlikely products like low-carb ketchup, ice cream bars and milk), he might be able to have a few. Instead of using the delicious but deadly white flour and sugar, these products use alternative staples: spelt, soy, nut flour, etc. (The good news? They are all made with fat, the bane of the ’80s dieter’s existence.)
But whether those replacement corn chips will resemble the actual goods is a different story. Salon decided to hold a taste test for some of the prepackaged and from-a-mix food products designed to replace the wheaty goodness of regularly carbed diets. Four guinea pigs showed up on a recent sunny Thursday morning to try out our selection of dishes, ranging from fettuccine to snickerdoodles: Mark Bittman, the “Minimalist” columnist for the New York Times and the author of “How to Cook Everything”; former Saveur editor Liza Schoenfein, now a freelance writer for Budget Living, Organic Style and Elle; Josh Friedland, the editor and owner of The Food Section blog, and Salon’s own Laura Miller.
All were dubious about the task at hand; Bittman went so far as to suggest that we’d chosen the wrong sample group. “I had a full dinner with pasta and bread last night, so how good could this taste to me?” he asked. “You should have people in here who haven’t eaten a muffin in six weeks.”
He had a point: To understand the true appeal of dehydrated low-carb mashed potatoes, perhaps it’s necessary to first survive on bunless hamburgers for six months. But we were unrelenting: why should low-carb dieters get treatment as second-class citizens whose tastebuds are set at a lower frequency than the gourmands among us? Let the food that promises good taste be tested as such.
Tally-ho!
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Keto Ketato Potato Mix
Ingredients: Oat fiber, soy protein isolate, dehydrated potatoes, calcium caseinate, dried cream powder, whey protein concentrate, milk protein isolate, natural flavor, salt. 90 calories, 11 g carbohydrates, 2 g fat.
Miller: This looks like mashed potatoes…
Bittman: I thought it was hummus.
Schoenfein: [Takes a bite.] This is very gluey — it tastes grainy, like it has powder in it.
Miller: It’s sort of like what you would imagine plaster would taste like. Salted plaster … with a vitamin-like aftertaste.
Bittman: It bears no relationship to potatoes. Is it an adequate substitute for potatoes? No. Is it an adequate substitute for potatoes from a box mix? I don’t know.
Miller: You know, on the South Beach diet, they tell you to eat puréed cauliflower, which I like better than potatoes anyway.
Schoenfein: Yeah, or puréed parsnips, with butter. They’re great.
Bittman: But parsnips have a lot of carbs.
Schoenfein: Oh, yeah. I forgot.
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Keto Macaroni & Cheese Dinner
Ingredients: Macaroni product (soy protein isolate, wheat gluten, durum wheat semolina, egg albumin, carrageenan gum, salt, potassium sorbate and sodium citrate), cheese sauce mix (dehydrated cheddar cheese, whey disodium phosphate, enzymes and sodium citrate). 130 calories, 7 g carbohydrates, 1 g fat.
Miller: That is nasty!
Schoenfein: Instead of doing Kraft for my 6-year-old, I sometimes make Amy’s Organic or Annie’s from a box. This is not the same.
Bittman: I like the noodles. They’re not noodles, but there’s something I like about them. And the sauce is actually like that regular boxed cheese sauce.
Schoenfein: [Leans toward the reporter conspiratorially.] They’re hard to chew.
Friedland: I think this is actually edible. Compared to boxed, anyway. This is not horrible.
Bittman: What are we saying? It’s not going to make you puke? That’s our highest praise: If it’s four in the afternoon and you haven’t had anything to eat all day and you’re plotzing, you would eat this!

Keto Fettuccine
Ingredients: Soy protein isolate, wheat gluten, durum wheat semolina, egg albumin, carrageenan gum, natural flavor, folic acid and salt. 130 calories, 7 g carbohydrates, 1 g fat.
Keto Tomato Sauce — Vodka
Ingredients: Tomato purée (water, tomato paste), imported San Marzano Italian tomatoes, heavy cream, extra virgin olive oil, imported Pecorino Romano cheese (sheep’s milk, culture, rennet, salt), vodka, fruit juice for color, microcrystalline cellulose, fresh garlic, salt, carrageenan gum, locust bean gum, xanthan gum, fresh basil, onion, citric acid and spices. 120 calories, 7 g carbohydrates, 9 g fat.
Keto Tomato Sauce– Meat Flavor
Ingredients: Tomato purée (water, tomato paste), imported San Marzano Italian tomatoes, ground beef, extra virgin olive oil, fruit juice for color, microcrystalline cellulose, fresh garlic, salt, carrageenan gum, locust bean gum, fresh basil, xanthan gum, onion, citric acid, sucralose and spices. 70 calories, 7 g carbohydrates, 4 g fat.
Miller: The meat sauce reminds me of airplane food.
Bittman: I like the second sauce. What is that called? [Grabs jar.] “Meat flavor”? Why is it called meat “flavor”?
Friedland: They’re both pretty nasty.
Miller: These noodles are slightly less weird than the mac and cheese noodles.
Bittman: Again, high praise: You could choke them down. Yuck, the fettuccine noodles are bad.
Miller: Well, there’s no gluten!
Friedland: They’re not toothsome.
Schoenfein: And with the sauces: I don’t taste garlic, or spices, or olive oil.
Bittman: What is this brand, Keto? It sounds like it’s made in a lab, which it undoubtedly is.
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CarbSense Soy Tortilla Chips — Original flavor (lightly salted)
Ingredients: Masa corn flour, soy protein concentrate (non-GMO), safflower oil, black beans, oat bran, rice flour, sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, flax seeds, salt. 140 calories, 12 g carbohydrate, 8 g fat.
CarbSense Soy Tortilla Chips — Pico de Gallo flavor
Ingredients: Masa corn flour, soy protein concentrate (non-GMO), safflower oil, black beans, oat bran, rice flour, sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, flax seeds, seasonings (salt, torula yeast, chili peppers, onion, garlic, tomato powder, lemon powder, spices, cultured whey, celery, natural smoke flavor). 140 calories, 12 g carbohydrate, 8 g fat.
CarbSense Soy Tortilla Chips — Habanero flavor
Ingredients: Masa corn flour, soy protein concentrate (non-GMO), safflower oil, rice flour, black beans, oat bran, sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, flax seeds, seasonings (salt, spices, chili peppers, onion, garlic, autolyzed yeast extract, lactic acid, extractives of paprika, citric acid). 140 calories, 12 g carbohydrate, 8 g fat.
Schoenfein: [Takes an "original"-flavored chip.] They taste brown. Like cardboard.
Bittman: Yes, like sawdust glued together. [Takes a pico de gallo chip.] You know, if you put these flavors on it, it actually masks the sawdust.
Miller: [Takes an "original"-flavored chip.] This is horrible. [Munches thoughtfully.] Unless … you think of it as some sort of health snack. Like some hippie side dish. They just shouldn’t make it in the shape of a chip.
Bittman: As a health cracker, it’s excellent. As a chip it’s a failure.
Schoenfein: There’s a toasted sesame flavor that’s actually kind of nice.
Miller: It’s just the damn soy aftertaste that lingers.
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Keto Classic Corn Tortilla Chips
Ingredients: Soy protein isolate, soybean oil, soy protein concentrate, soy fiber, corn meal, soy lecithin, salt. 150 calories, 8 g carbohydrate, 8 g fat.
Schoenfein: Huh! [Chews hopefully.]
Miller: When you first bite into these it’s plausible. But then again in the finish…
Bittman: These are so bad that I actually want one of these… [Reaches for a tortilla chip from the previous round.]
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MiniCarb Soy Thins
Ingredients: Soy protein concentrate, tapioca, expeller-pressed safflower oil, sunflower oil, salt, potassium chloride, defatted soy flour. 120 calories, 8 g carbohydrate, 4.5 g fat.
Schoenfein: That wins. It wins on crunch. No graininess.
Miller: I agree. It’s like a wonton.
Friedland: There’s a gross aftertaste.
Bittman: [To Schoenfein.] I defy you to eat 20 of them. For 50 bucks!
Schoenfein: I would.
Bittman: For $25!
Schoenfein: No, you said $50.
Bittman: [Turns to reporter.] Please note that she would eat them for $50, but not for $25.
Miller: There’s still that soy aftertaste. Why do they have that when tofu is good?
Bittman: If you eat soy protein powder — and I do — there is a bitter aftertaste. Maybe tofu has the carbs that have been sucked out of this stuff? I don’t know.
Schoenfein: But tofu is yummy when we put sesame oil and chili oil and all those wonderful flavors on it.
Bittman: Maybe that’s the problem. It’s with the seasoning — whatever it is, it’s not counteracting the bitterness.



Keto Frosted Flakes cereal
Ingredients: Soy protein isolate, wheat gluten, almond flour, maltitol, corn bran, corn meal, potato starch, natural flavors, salt, and sucralose. 110 calories, 9 g carbohydrates, 1 g fat.
Atkins Morning Start Banana Nut Harvest cereal
Ingredients: Soy protein concentrate, soy grits, wheat gluten, corn bran, corn starch, maltodextrin, rice flour, walnuts, banana flakes, inulin, canola oil, natural flavor, sucralose (Splenda brand non-nutritive sweetener), caramel color, salt and vitamin E (mixed tocopherols) as natural antioxidants, and folic acid. 100 calories, 11 g carbohydrate, 2.5 g fat.
MiniCarb Apple Cinnamon Low-Carb Granola
Ingredients: Soybeans, almonds, oat fiber, polydextrose (fiber), soybean oil, cinnamon, natural flavors, sucralose (Splenda brand). 285 calories, 29 g carbohydrate, 15 g fat.
Keto Reconstituted Low-Carb Milk (“Enjoy the creamy-rich taste and texture of whole cow’s milk without all the carbs!”)
Ingredients: Water, cream, milk protein isolate, cellulose gel, carrageenan gum, tricalcium phosphate, potassium chloride, dipotassium phosphate, salt, soya lecithin, acesulfame potassium, vitamins A and D. 120 calories, 1 g carbohydrate, 8 g fat.
Schoenfein: The cereal I eat normally is as cardboard-y as any of this. It’s kashi — cardboard and twigs.
Miller: I like kashi. [Looks at Banana Nut Harvest box.] I love the cereals that this is an imitation of. They have tons of sugar in them but the ones with dried cranberries and almonds — they’re so good.
Schoenfein: [Tries the Frosted Flakes.] Kashi wins. This is awful. You know, these manage to get soggy even without milk.
Friedland: These Frosted Flakes have that dried-urine-in-the-subway smell.
Bittman is the first to experiment with the milk.
Schoenfein: Oh my God — did you see how thick that milk was?
Bittman: There’s a lot of shit in this milk. Can you look up “sucralose” on Google?
Friedland: Sugar works better as a cover for the soy taste.
Bittman: Banana Nut Harvest tastes like sugarless gum.
Schoenfein: [Tastes the granola.] Ooh, I like this one! [Takes another chew.] Oh! No! Oh no! Oh, it’s awful! I thought this was one where graininess might work in its favor, but no!
Bittman: I think it’s one of the least horrible things so far.
Schoenfein: We are doing a real disservice to these products by serving them with this milk. It’s sad to eat this way.
Bittman: Especially for no fucking reason. Because in three years, nobody’s going to care about this anyway.
Miller: I enjoyed the South Beach diet. But it’s not like this. For dessert, they tell you to have ricotta cheese with vanilla and some Equal. It’s not bad, because the cheese itself is good. And it’s all lean protein and fish.
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Keto Italian Style Biscotti — Chocolate Chip flavor
Ingredients: Protein blend (soy protein isolate, fresh whole eggs), butter, almond meal, enriched wheat flour, chocolate chips (maltitol, chocolate liquor, cocoa butter, lecithin, vanilla and sucralose), baking powder, polydextrose, natural flavors, acesulfame potassium and sucralose. 160 calories, 6 g carbohydrate, 9 g fat.
Schoenfein: This is fine.
Bittman: Chew and swallow before you say anything! Haven’t you learned your lesson yet?
Schoenfein: No, I think this is a passable substitute for biscotti.
Miller: If you had a cup of coffee to dip it into…
Friedland: [Dips it in his coffee.] It’s actually holding together!
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Ketogenics Blueberry Muffin Mix
Ingredients: Blueberries canned in water, soy protein, whey protein, gluten flour, resistant starch, sour cream, guar gum, polydextrose, lecithin, baking powder, natural and artificial flavors, salt, sucralose (Splenda brand), acesulfame potassium. Prepared: 215 calories, 7 g carbohydrate, 2 g fat.
Friedland: It’s holding together more in my mouth than I thought it would.
Schoenfein: It tastes raw, like it hasn’t been baked properly. I’m sure it has been; that’s just the taste.
Bittman: It’s sandy, powdery. But you should really be feeding this to people who haven’t had a muffin in three weeks. I had bread last night. Bread and pasta!
Miller: It doesn’t have too much of an aftertaste.
Bittman: It has 90 percent less carbs than other boxed muffin mixes.
Schoenfein: If it were fresh out of the oven or split and toasted and you put fresh butter on it…
Miller: Nothing made from soy flour tastes good.
Bittman: They need another base. I wonder if they’ve actually tried sawdust.
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MiniCarb Snickerdoodles
Ingredients: Almond flour, inulin, cornstarch (low-glycemic), vital wheat gluten, whey protein concentrate, natural flavors, spices, guar gum, baking soda, sucralose (Splenda brand). Prepared: 110 calories, 7 g carbohydrates, 2 g fat.
Bittman: What is a snickerdoodle?
Schoenfein: It’s a Midwest thing. This tastes a little bit like a swimming pool. Almost chlorine-y. I guess that’s the artificial sweetener.
Bittman: I wonder if years from now when we all die they’ll figure out we were all in this room together once. I can see the headlines: “Deaths all over the country from a previously unknown form of cancer. Doctors have only been able to discover that they were once in the same room together.” [Chews contemplatively on a snickerdoodle.] That shit is nasty! There’s butter and cream, and it’s still bad!
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Atkins Quick Quisine Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix
Ingredients: Maltitol, cornstarch (low glycemic), chocolate drops (maltitol, chocolate liquor, cocoa butter, soy lecithin and vanilla), maltodextrin, wheat gluten, polydextrose, whey protein, casein protein, potassium bicarbonate, baking soda, xanthan gum, natural and artificial flavor, salt, sucralose (Splenda brand non-nutritive sweetener), caramel color. Prepared: 70 calories, 16 g carbohydrates, 1 g fat.
Schoenfein: It tastes like Play-Doh.
Bittman: Play-Doh has carbs. This tastes like cardboard.
Miller: I feel like I’ve just had nine Diet Cokes.
When the taste test was over, all four testers were rubbing their bellies with some unhappiness, and a few were opening and closing their mouths, as if trying to remove a sticky substance from their tongues. “We’ve determined that low-carb food tastes worse than low-fat food,” Miller said.
After a pause, she reconsidered: “I think this is actually unfair to low-carb diets, because you don’t need to eat this stuff to be on one. You can eat fresh, lean foods that have nothing in common with these mixes.”
A young woman sleeps in her bed, in the embrace of someone who has a leg draped over her thigh and an arm comfortingly around her middle. When the alarm clock buzzes, jolting this spooning pair to consciousness, we realize that they’re not a romantic couple; they are best friends and roommates, Hannah and Marnie.
It’s an early, lovely moment in “Girls,” the new HBO series created, directed, written, produced and, really, detonated onto the pop landscape by 25-year-old Lena Dunham. Dunham stars as Hannah, who is joined in bed by Marnie because Marnie is avoiding having to be touched by her over-kind swain, and because both girls like to stay up late watching reruns of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.”
These details, along with the image of two friends snoozing happily entwined, make the moment emblematic of a dynamic central to “Girls’” appeal and its importance. Despite Dunham’s protestations about not wanting to be some symbolic emissary from the land of young ladies (Sorry, kid, you’re it!), this is what she’s telling us about Women Right Now: that the lives of contemporary Mary Richardses and Rhoda Morgensterns are not based on pursuit or enjoyment of hetero congress; rather, they are often most firmly and warmly wrapped around each other.
You have likely already read something about the sex on “Girls,” which in early episodes, at least, all takes place between straight, sort-of-realistically-bodied young people. What you’ve read is true: the show’s abundant sex – as experienced by its four female leads – is either boring and unsatisfying, porn-fantasy-driven and unsatisfying, nonexistent and unsatisfying, or performed as conquest (Jessa says after bagging an ex, “That was me showing that I cannot be smoted. I am unsmoteable”) and yet … unsatisfying. Sex for these young women is an awkward element in their lives, and whether you think that this characterization is hilariously awful, worryingly awful, or whether it prompts you to reflect, once again, on how everyone else but you is a prude, there is no question that “Girls” features some awful, awful sex.
But part of the point of “Girls” is that the sex, and the guys with whom the sex happens, are not the point. Instead, as titularly advertised, “Girls” is about girls, and the fact that they do make connections – emotional, intimate, irritating, satisfying, pleasurable, lasting. Just not, so far anyway, with men. The show, among many other things, is crucial and corrective testament to the ways in which women’s friendships with each other have flourished and changed during the same period in which their liberties and status have increased.
Minutes into the first episode, Hannah sits naked in a bathtub eating a cupcake, laughing pityingly with a betoweled Marnie about Marnie’s emasculated boyfriend. When the boyfriend accidentally comes into the room, it’s clear he has no place in this room of unclothed communion. A similarly awkward entrance occurs later, during one of several scenes in which one of the four lead characters sits on the toilet, making serious confessions (of pregnancy, for instance) to a girlfriend while peeing. The bodily closeness depicted on “Girls” makes flesh the role these women play in each other’s lives: They are the non-sexual lovers of each other.
It’s the girlfriends who provide the physical affirmations usually associated with boyfriends. “You are beautiful, shut up,” Marnie tells self-deprecating Hannah. “Your skin is, like, hauntingly beautiful,” Long Island girl Shoshanna says to her worldly cousin Jessa. “When I look at both of you, a Coldplay song plays in my heart,” Hannah tells Marnie and Jessa, kidding but serious. In one scene, having been meanly rejected by a boy because of her virginity, Shoshanna desperately asks her friends if they would have sex with a virgin, meaning her. “Oh Shosh,” Jessa says kindly, “if I had a cock, it’s all I’d do.” You get the feeling that she means it; if they could provide that kind of fulfillment for each other, they would.
This same-sex affinity feels extremely contemporary, part of what has prompted critics to write about the show as revolutionary. But noting female friendship as a (or the) primary source of emotional sustenance only feels strange in the context of relatively recent history; in fact it’s a dynamic that is very old.
For the many centuries during which marriage was regarded as an economic and a socially ratifying necessity, rather than as an institution from which women could reasonably hope to derive emotional or sexual pleasure, intense social and physical bonds between women were an accepted part of life. From Celia and Rosalind in “As You Like It” to Hermia and Helena in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” whom we’re told were as close as “two lovely berries, moulded on one stem,” Shakespeare regularly used the assumed closeness (and sometimes the bed-fellowship) of women as a plot device. Much of what we learn of the fate of Samuel Richardson’s Clarissa Harlowe is from letters to her best friend, Anna Howe. Then there’s Lucy Montgomery’s Anne Shirley, who meets her “bosom friend” and “kindred spirit” in Diana Barry.
The term “Boston marriage” was used during the late 19thcentury to describe unmarried women who lived together in long-term partnerships. In “Bachelor Girl,” a history of single female life in the United States, Betsy Israel writes that around the same period, near-romantic female bonds were encouraged by parents. Two girls, meeting perhaps in school, would be “‘smashed’ – think of best friends going steady – and once smashed, they’d learn trust, loyalty, tolerance, patience.” Of course, all that social growth was supposed to be in service of marriage. “Once they’d mastered these skills,” Israel writes, “they would be able … to transfer them onto a marital relationship. Even if those who wed never felt quite the same about their husbands.” For a long time, there was no questioning the sexuality of women who held hands, slept side-by-side, confided in each other or wrote long love letters to one another.
It wasn’t until the early 20th century, as marriage came to be treated as a union based on love and sex, that same-sex friendships began to be seen as competitive to the closeness a woman was supposed to feel to her husband, and thus as sexually suspect. Marriage historian Stephanie Coontz has described how, by the end of the 1920s, American psychoanalyists “were warning that one of the most common ‘perversions of the libido’ was the tendency of teenage girls to fix their ‘affections on members of the same sex.’ Such perversions, they claimed, were a serious threat to normal development and to marriage.” The fix, Coontz writes, was to discourage social unions between women and encourage more early sexual experimentation between the sexes. Networks based on female camaraderie, trust and dependence began to break down.
These mid-20th-century decades are the ones on which most of us have drawn, until recently, our understanding of how a woman’s life is supposed to proceed. They were years in which women made stupendous social, economic and professional strides, yet during which they were still told to pursue, and mark their graduation to adulthood with a “traditional” marriage, in which a man is lover, confidant, provider, partner and companion. These were also years in which messages about women’s behavior toward women were nasty; girls were hair-pullers, back-stabbers and bitches, always after each other’s jobs, wardrobes and men.
Now, it seems, we are coming out on the other side of the looking glass. The median age of first marriage for women has been rising steadily since the late 1980s. Marriage – while still widely fetishized as some kind of goal – is no longer the only acceptable marker of maturity. The idea of young adult women living, working, earning, spending and having sex on their own, outside of marriage, is, in many parts of this nation, not aberrant, but an expected phase of life, a norm.
These are Dunham’s “Girls,” and while the privileged Oberlin grads depicted on the show are members of the demographic statistically most likely to eventually marry – and to enjoy successful companionate marriages – their walks down aisles might well not take place for a decade or more. During that period, the people with whom they are likely to form their most intense emotional partnerships are, like the smashes of old, other young women. Except now, the smashes are happening not in anticipation of unfulfilling marital futures, but in advance of potentially happy marriages; they’re not a reflection of the powerless quandary of women compelled to marry practical strangers for money and social acceptance, but rather of a generation of women who, even if they don’t yet have real power, experience historically unprecedented autonomy and freedom.
Yes, we’ve seen friends on television before. From Mary and Rhoda to Laverne and Shirley to, yes, the show that must not be named but to which “Girls” is always compared. But Carrie and her brightly colored cadre made history in almost cartoonish fashion, in which material consumption was supposed to be symbolic of social liberty (until it just became material consumption), in which friendship was a public performance enacted in expansive shiny clubs over jewel-colored cocktails. Those flamboyantly drawn expressions have given way to Hannah and Marnie, who breakfast in their grim apartment kitchen, Marnie listening with irritation as Hannah slurps her cereal milk and talks with her mouth full, like regular best friends, not fabulously implausible best friends.
Their life is not one of aspirational adornment, but of the quotidian realities of (even privileged) young adult life, in which the people you trust and argue with and talk to at the end of the day about your job, whom you share beers and breakfasts with, are your girlfriends.
It’s hard to talk about the role of female friendships without making them sound like placeholders for marriage. But it sells female friendship very short to regard it as some kind of training ground for later, committed heterosexual (or homosexual) partnership. These relationships take place not in some liminal state, as women are waiting for “real” life to begin; marital partnership no longer defines “real” life. Young women, older women, unmarried women – they are simply living their actual lives, not dress rehearsals for them, and the bonds they form with each other are as real, as varied, as complex and often as long-lasting as the ones they may or may not form with romantic and sexual partners, and as fraught and as true as the love they may or may not feel for their kids.
These women are, make no mistake, partners, spouses, family to each other. They get mad at each other for being late for dinner, for sleeping with the wrong people. They are jealous, possessive, dismissive of and bored by each other, sometimes in the emotionally manipulative style associated with lovers. Fighting over that too-adoring boyfriend, Marnie tells Hannah that she can’t understand because “you’ve never been loved this much.” She pauses. “Except by me. I love you that much.” While Jessa at one point turns to Hannah and issues a line that could have been taken from either romantic comedy or drama: “I am not a character for one of your novels. Stop staring at my face so hard.”
The bad stuff – the fighting – is as much a part of adult connection as the good stuff, and the good stuff – the love – is there in abundance in “Girls.”
At the end of an early episode, Hannah, recovering from a series of life’s traumas, dances by herself in her bedroom to Robyn’s “Dancing on My Own.” Marnie arrives home; they laugh at the day’s indignities, and then, before you know it, they’re dancing – happily, freely, satisfyingly – together.
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The startling intensity that we saw this week in response to Susan G. Komen for the Cure’s decision to pull its grants from Planned Parenthood — an intensity that prompted the Komen foundation to reverse its decision today — may be the best thing that’s happened to the conversation about reproductive rights in this country for decades. It certainly should be.
Practically since Roe v. Wade was decided in 1973, reproductive rights activists have been left to play stilted defense against ideological opponents who grabbed the language of morality, life, love and family as their own, always deploying it with reference to the fetus. The rhetoric around reproductive rights, which has more recently begun to creep into arguments over contraception, has become suffocating in its emotional self-righteousness, but too muscular, too ubiquitous to effectively combat.
But the overreach by the Komen foundation, while surely intended to strike yet another blow on the side of antiabortion activism, succeeded instead in waking a powerful constituency — armed with precisely the language and emotional heft they’ve been lacking for too long.
That this week’s blow against Planned Parenthood came not directly from John Boehner’s House of Representatives – which, ever since taking power a year ago promising to focus on jobs, has manfully focused on the single task of attacking women’s reproductive rights – but instead from a popular, officially nonpartisan organization dedicated wholly to women’s healthcare somehow brought this argument into the open.
The response to Komen was surely so tinderbox explosive because it had been building with every politically theatrical investigation launched by Cliff Stearns and every grisly abortion scene enacted on the House floor by U.S. Rep. Chris Smith. But it was not just Washington wonkery, and was not ginned up or amplified by professional political cranks. It was the reflexive kick of a shin hit just below the knee, and the visceral anger spilled everywhere, from a Planned Parenthood Saved Me tumblr and onto Facebook, where people posted images of Komen’s pink ribbon cut in half. It poured from bank accounts, including that of New York Mayor and former Republican Michael Bloomberg.
It came from often dispassionate media figures like Andrea Mitchell, was tweeted by novelists like Judy Blume, Terry McMillan and William Gibson, actors Ellen Barkin and Martha Plimpton, politicos like Donna Brazile, Reps. Gwen Moore and Jackie Speiers, former Speaker Nancy Pelosi and from 22 senators including Frank Lautenberg, Al Franken and Kirsten Gillibrand, who signed a letter urging Komen to reverse its decision. It came from callers to radio programs, announcing their intentions to drop out of Komen races, and from the American Association of University Women, which canceled a scheduled service event with Komen. In the three days after Komen’s announcement of its Planned Parenthood break, Planned Parenthood received more than $3 million in donations, said PPFA president Cecile Richards in a press call on Friday.
More than that, though: The starkly observable attack against something as crucial and basic as breast exams for poor women, as well as the fact that so many divergent voices were pulled into it, meant that the conversation was not about partisan politics; it was about women. For the first time in what feels like forever, passion and fury were being loudly, proudly given in a full-throated voice, on behalf of women – women as moral actors; women as citizens with rights, health, bodies, freedoms; women as people with families and economic concerns.
Taken together, these factors mark this as a watershed moment in the contemporary conversation about reproductive rights. This is a story in which we see the possibility of a turned tide, a new way to gauge how the public actually feels about women’s rights and health, and a new way to talk about it, as well. Because what we saw this week was big. It was mass. It was emotional. This was so different from the various polls activists on both sides of the abortion question are always throwing around, polls that depend so much on how a question is asked; polls that offer far less clarity than head-banging confusion about where America stands on the issue of reproductive heath. This was not a poll. This was America announcing that it cared about women’s health, and more specifically, that it cared about Planned Parenthood.
In many ways, the activism that forced Komen to backtrack was ignited by Boehner’s House Republicans a year ago, when they voted to cut off all funding to Planned Parenthood because it provides abortion services. This despite the fact that since 1976’s Hyde Amendment, no federal money has been able to be used to provide abortion services. The organization Republicans want to squash provides more than 800,000 women a year with breast exams, more than 4 million Americans with testing and treatment for sexually transmitted diseases, and 2.5 million people with contraception, which prevents unintended pregnancy and thus abortion. But playing to what they must imagine is overriding public sentiment, Republicans have worked tirelessly to lodge the image of Planned Parenthood as an abortion factory deep in the American imagination.
A year ago, some of the anger at this strategy began to bubble over. In response to Smith’s description of a second trimester abortion, read on the House floor, Democratic U.S. Rep. Jackie Speier went to the House well and described her own painful second trimester abortion. “For you to stand on this floor and suggest that somehow this is a procedure that is either welcomed or done cavalierly or done without any thought, is preposterous,” Speier said, directing her comments at Smith. “Planned Parenthood has a right to operate. Planned Parenthood has a right to provide services for family planning. Planned Parenthood has a right to offer abortions. The last time I checked, abortions were legal in this country … I would suggest to you that it would serve us all very well if we moved on with this process and started focusing on creating jobs for the Americans who desperately want them.”
It was around this time that a viral “Thank You Planned Parenthood” meme cropped up online. With participants noting the instances in which they had relied on PPFA for birth control, breast exams, gynelogical care, and yes, abortions. Twitter, Facebook and blogs began to be dotted with “I stand with Planned Parenthood” emblems. Comedian Lizz Winstead kicked off a tour called “Planned Parenthood, I am here for you.”
But this recent wave of defense of Planned Parenthood has remained broad, ambient. The politics of the congressional witch hunt have been so labyrinthine, so convoluted, that it has been difficult to know how to effectively harness an angry response. When, last fall, Rep. Cliff Stearns launched an investigation into PPFA’s bookkeeping, the move was so needless, such a trumped-up piece of political stagecraft (since PPFA does receive federal funds, it must scrupulously account for every dime it spends, no special investigation required) that it was hard to even know how to make sense of it, let alone respond. This week, a caller to WNYC’s “Brian Lehrer Show” professed her belief that the Stearns investigation centered on whether Planned Parenthood was performing late-term abortions.
The demonization of Planned Parenthood should have awakened the country to the radicalism of the right, and how far it has pushed the political conversation. It’s been hard to measure the degree of the radicalism, so slowly and unceasingly has it crept across our consciousness and the political discourse. But it’s important to remember how mainstream Planned Parenthood used to be. It was the respectable, even Republican, advocate for women’s health, including reproductive services; the leaders of the National Abortion Rights Action League were the activist agitators. Sen. Prescott Bush, the father of President George H.W. Bush, served as treasurer of Planned Parenthood’s first national fundraising campaign. Richard Nixon signed the family planning legislation in 1970 that authorized its federal funding.
As a congressman, George Bush and his wife, Barbara, were reliable friends of the organization. Barry Goldwater’s wife, Betty, was a founding member of Arizona Planned Parenthood; President Gerald Ford’s wife, Betty, was a high-profile supporter of the group. More recently, Ann Romney, wife of the 2012 GOP presidential front-runner, donated $150 to Planned Parenthood in 1994. And when a Romney relative died of a botched abortion in 1963, the family asked that memorial donations go to Planned Parenthood.
But what happened this week was a clarifying moment. Right-wing extremism, coming this time not from the partisan mill but from a mainstream women’s organization, was put in a direct and unflattering spotlight. Suddenly, so much was clear, and finally, the response was unified and thunderous. Right-wing overreach — and the backlash it inspired — feels a lot like the way other radical GOP power grabs in the last year have galvanized the public to fight back. Attacks on collective bargaining, public workers and unions by Republican governors in Wisconsin, Ohio and Indiana have produced mass mobilization in those states, the likes of which we haven’t seen in decades. Public workers – cops, firefighters, nurses, teachers, paramedics, sanitation workers – once were the proud backbone of the middle class. Now they find themselves derided by the GOP as the new welfare queens who are taking more than their fair share. Ohio voters repealed a law that abolished collective bargaining in November, and pro-union organizers in Wisconsin have forced a recall election for Gov. Scott Walker.
Efforts to restrict voting rights are likewise waking up the citizenry; Maine repealed a law that banned same-day voting and registration in November, and Ohio blocked a voter photo ID bill. Even on the issue of reproductive rights, a draconian “personhood” amendment to the state constitution failed to pass in Mississippi, one of the reddest of the red states. Overreach by the right has re-inspired movements – unions, voting rights, women’s rights — that have too long been dormant and too easily dismissed by their ideological opponents as outside the mainstream of American values, when in fact, they used to represent the most American of values.
For defenders of Planned Parenthood, and more broadly for reproductive rights activists, this moment of repositioning is a valuable one. Until now, it has proven very difficult for advocates to resuscitate their side with language anywhere near as powerful as that used by antiabortion forces. Instead they have relied too heavily on the fungible, limp, endlessly open-ended language of “choice.” (Even among “pro-choice” advocates, the “I choose my choice!” joke from “Sex and the City” has become a ubiquitous critique.)
But what happened this week was powerful. It was mass. It was direct. It was emotional. And it restores women as the moral center of this conversation — which is where they belong.
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Last week, the summer’s surprise blockbuster, “Bridesmaids,” was released on DVD, after a spectacular run both in the United States and abroad. The fortunes of the film, which starred a brace of funny women and dealt equally in fart jokes and friendship, were regarded as crucial to the future of women in entertainment.
Hollywood, perpetually on the verge of never making another movie for anyone but teenage boys, was in need of a slap in the face, reminding it that women buy tickets, fill theaters, tell friends they loved it — and know men who are occasionally eager to see the opposite sex portrayed compellingly on celluloid. “Bridesmaids” delivered a wallop, bringing in more than $280 million worldwide, and drawing an audience reported to be a third male, and largely over 30.
But has it actually whetted the film business’s appetite for more female-driven projects? Salon called Lynda Obst, producer of movies like “Sleepless in Seattle,” “Contact” and “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days,” the television show “Hot in Cleveland,” the author of “Hello, He Lied” and all-around movie sage, to see what, if anything, has changed in her town this summer.
Did the success of “Bridesmaids” make a difference to your business?
Yes. It had the biggest impact of any women’s movie that I can remember in my career.
In your whole career, which began with “Flashdance” in 1983?
Yeah. It came at a moment when any movies for women, women’s comedies — forget dramas, there are no dramas for anybody — but women’s comedies, women’s thrillers were going to get put by the wayside forever. Women’s projects were dying everywhere. That’s why the opening of “Bridesmaids” was so critical for every woman in features, why its success was attended with such profound interest by every woman writer, producer and director in town.
The second important factor was that there were no stars in the movie and it wasn’t tracking in advance.
And that matters because it means that it was the material, not a movie star, that drew people to theaters?
Yes. Its success wasn’t automatic. A star opens a movie. Sandra Bullock opens a movie. But there was nobody in this movie who had ever been in a movie before, so it’s the hardest kind of movie to open.
It means that its success was due to the fact that people enjoyed it, and gave it good word of mouth once the movie started screening. Which leads us to the gigantic thing, which was the revelation that women can open a movie, and also, that this [women's movie] crossed over. Men came. It drew women of all ages and it drew guys and was a major hit. And not just domestically, which is part two of this gigantic thing, because the movie business right now is being driven by international box office.
Comedy doesn’t usually travel well. Movies that travel are movies with very little dialogue, usually dependent on action or family content or big international stars. But “Bridesmaids” did very well internationally. The concept was easy to understand in all languages. It gave us a clue as to what movies will work internationally with women in them. So what we learned is: Broad comedies will sell abroad, even with broads.
What are the immediate effects of this?
There are suddenly projects for women! I’m pitching one right now that is a female-based comedy and people are really responsive to it. And then my directing debut, which was dead in the water at New Line, went from having no momentum to having momentum, the weekend right after “Bridesmaids” opened. “Bridesmaids” meant that the idea of being able to make a movie about women was resuscitated.
Well, for now. What if the next female comedy flops?
If the next one flops, who knows? Two action movies flop and it means nothing; one women’s movie flops and it’s the end. But “Bridesmaids” was followed immediately by the success of “The Help,” which was terrific because that was driven by women too.
So what we’re finding in the American market is that younger male eyeballs are disappearing in large numbers, going to video games, going to the Internet. But women are going to the movies, if you make movies for them.
Now, does this mean we will stop making movies for the younger male quadrant? No, because the young male quadrant likes the same movies as international audiences — action movies, man movies.
Man movies?
“Ironman,” “Spider-Man,” “Batman.” Man movies.
Are studios pursuing women’s projects or are people just feeling like they can pitch them again?
I think the latter. But I think studios were suddenly receptive to them.
This is not the first time in recent memory that a woman’s movie has done well and studios have failed to notice in any permanent way. “The Devil Wears Prada,” your movie “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days,” “Sex and the City” have all been big women-driven hits, and yet women’s movies were on the brink of extinction.
Studios have institutionally short memories when it comes to women’s movies. “Sex and the City II” did better internationally than it did domestically, which would have made you think that they would have noticed it. I mean, that’s what inclines Fox to make “Ice Ages”; sequels do so well internationally. But studios don’t seem to generalize by the same rules in women’s movies as they do for other movies.
Every time a woman’s movie does well, it’s a brand-new fact. Every time we rediscover the female audience, it’s astonishing.
So it’s possible that despite “Bridesmaids’” success, four years from now you and I will be having the same conversation about the death of women’s comedy?
Yes.
That’s depressing. But back to the success of “Bridesmaids.” There was a certain amount of social awareness around going to the movie. Because of the press it got, women seemed to be aware that going to see the movie was not just about enjoying it, but about sending a message to Hollywood. Do you think that had an impact on its box office?
Well, I know there was tremendous awareness in Los Angeles that we had to open this movie. I believe it happened in New York too, but I don’t know that that happened nationally.
What happened nationally was that there was a hunger for something for women to relate to, because there’s usually nothing out there for them. It’s what happens with an urban audience with Tyler Perry.
I had a sense from friends in other cities that they were going with their girlfriends and that they knew it was made for them. It’s so rare that there’s a movie made for them. It generated such excitement.
You would think that that excitement alone would send a message that there is an eager audience out there for material about women.
Well, I think you can see a lot of that reaction on television. It is the year of women on television. Television is much more female-friendly than Hollywood. There are a tremendous number of female executives, and when they see something like “Bridesmaids,” it’s much easier to react fast to it, and there’s less institutional resistance. They love the zeitgeist.
But timing-wise, this season of television was already a done deal before “Bridesmaids” opened, so it can’t have been a reaction, can it?
Well, the [final] decisions about this current fall season were made at the upfronts, which roughly coincided [Editor's note: actually, directly coincided in mid-May] with the opening of “Bridesmaids,” so there actually could have been a connection.
But also, I have just been through the next season of creative development and let me tell you it’s just as female-friendly as the one that’s on air now. There are shows about women and girlfriends and not just couples. There is television about women, for women. Real women.
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