Books
My dinner with Sontag
I crossed chopsticks with America's most ferocious intellectual -- and the sushi turned to ashes in my mouth.
I didn’t mean to get into a fight with Susan Sontag.
I had gone out to dinner with her for exactly the opposite reason. I was 25 and an aspiring writer, living in Beijing and cobbling together a living as a freelance journalist. When I came back to New York for my yearly visit in 2000, I got in touch with a friend from college, whom I will call Sting. Sting worked for “Susan” as a personal assistant and he invited me to an evening film screening and meal with him and his famous boss. Of course I said yes.
This would be my initiation into New York literary life. I admired Susan Sontag for writing boldly about the things I felt only men were allowed to write about: Big Ideas, the European canon, history. And she looked striking doing it. Perhaps some of her erudition, or her verve, would rub off on me.
After the movie, which turned out to be an interminably long and sad Hungarian film that she enjoyed very much and I found soporific, the three of us walked toward the East Village. Susan was intimidating. Her presence was just as penetrating as I had imagined it would be, her mane just as thick and flowing. Each sentence she uttered with complete conviction.
“This. Is. A. Good. Sushi. Restaurant,” she said as we descended the steps of a small place near St. Mark’s Bookshop. I wouldn’t have dared contradict her.
The dinner started out smoothly. We shared a large order of sushi, the glistening slices of fish sitting perfectly on their wooden slabs like tiny pigs. Sting and Susan talked familiarly as I interjected the odd comment. China was the only thing I knew anything about, and I clung fiercely to that small sureness like a drowning man to a life raft. Midway through the meal, Susan turned to me and asked what I did. I said I was a freelance journalist in China, hoping that we could just trade some meaningless chit-chat about China.
“So you must know about Bei Ling?”
“Who?”
“He’s a poet who was recently arrested there. He lives in the States and when he returned to Beijing to distribute magazines, was jailed for several weeks.”
I had never heard of him. The major Western Internet sites — CNN, BBC, the New York Times — were blocked in China, limiting my access to news. I had been working without an official journalist’s accreditation and so I had stayed away from thorny political issues, preferring to write articles about the demise of traditional Peking opera, and tampon companies making inroads into the Chinese market.
To my frustration, I found that there were only two stories that the Western press wanted to hear about China: the economy’s meteoric rise and the government’s oppression of its people. The iconic image of a lone man standing in front of a tank during the Tiananmen Square massacre of 1989 had not been replaced by a more complex portrait of China in 2000 in all of its contradictions.
I hesitated, not sure whether I should lie or not. I decided to adopt the know-it-all machismo of my new profession. Why lie? I was going to stand my ground.
“No,” I said, “I hadn’t heard about that.”
“You’re a journalist and you haven’t heard about that?” she asked, an edge creeping into her voice.
At that point I should have just apologized for being so ignorant, but guilt and pride and all manner of human folly intervened, so I said, “Oh, um, ahem … that’s kind of dissident news …um … ”
“What?”
“Dissident news. When you’re covering news in China, you don’t generally pay that much attention to the arrests of dissidents … um…”
My hands and voice were starting to quiver like jelly. I put down my chopsticks.
“Why don’t you?”
That arresting Sontagian stare you see emanating from book jackets and the pages of magazines? It had leapt off the page and was boring into me from across the dinner table. Her voice was low and commanding like a man’s, transforming her question into an order. She was ready for a fight, and to my surprise, so was I. If only I could break my habit of transforming declarative sentences into questions.
“Well, dissidents just don’t seem relevant sometimes?”
Sting tried to step in. “Maybe also you can’t read that kind of news in China?”
“The Western press should be covering that kind of story,” Susan said.
I was getting backed into a corner; the next thing I knew I would be defending the Chinese government.
“I don’t know why I didn’t see the story,” I said, backing down. “I’m just saying that there are bigger stories in China?”
She sensed my weakness and went in for the kill.
“So, you’re saying that the jailing of this poet isn’t important?”
I gasped. Susan Sontag was going to sit in a sushi restaurant in the East Village and tell me that the fate of this dinky, two-bit poet who lived most of the year in the States was more important than, say, the plight of the country’s 800 million farmers? The hubris!
“No. But in the grand scheme of all of the problems that China faces, I guess I’m saying it’s not. China has a lot of big problems that the Western press doesn’t cover. Poverty. You know, corruption,” I said, racking my brains. “Environmental devastation.” I looked over at Sting for help. He was drawing his finger across his throat.
We went back and forth for a few minutes, neither of us budging, before Susan turned away and ignored me for the rest of the meal. I tried to pick up my chopsticks but my hands shook too violently to lift even a single piece of sushi, much less choke it down.
We parted ways after dinner. Sting helped Susan get into a cab, and then he and I walked to the subway.
What a mortifying initiation into New York literary life. My petty insecurities had made me look like an ass in front of the most famous person I had ever had dinner with. I took solace in imagining that I had joined a pantheon of great minds who had locked horns with Susan Sontag.
“Do you want to know why she got so angry?” Sting asked.
“I don’t know, do I?”
“She was personally involved in getting that poet out of jail. She and other PEN writers petitioned the Chinese government for his release,” he said. “So you were basically taking her to task for being a Western intellectual with an inconsequential pet project.”
I started laughing. I had schooled Susan Sontag! Relief washed over me.
She was right to defend freedom of speech, but I was right about China’s having more basic and urgent problems. Dissidents might be a sexier sell than farmers, but they weren’t necessarily more important.
My mortification began to fade as we walked. Her obstinacy, like mine, had not been fueled by a lofty sense of moral responsibility. We had both been motivated by personal passions and insecurities. And that was perfectly fine. In the end, she had schooled me too.
I live in New York now. When I read about Susan’s death, I felt like Luke Skywalker at the moment of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s death: a sharp ebbing of the Force. I am still an aspiring writer who swears every other day that I am going to quit news and devote myself to letters. (I try to follow what Susan revealed in her biography as the secret to her success: “I did what all writers do. I went to all the parties I was invited to.”) But this past week was one when I was finally glad to work in news. Susan’s death came just days after the tsunami hit South Asia. I work at UNICEF as a Web site editor, and I spent long days last week doing the mundane work of news: editing stories, checking captions against photos, making sure the home page did not have too much unsightly white space. The Web site raised millions of dollars in donations. At night I went home and cried.
The depth of my sadness took me by surprise. I tried to weigh the death of one famous writer against the deaths of 120,000 uncelebrated people. The stories sat next to each other on the New York Times Web site and they had the same nonsensical fight that Susan and I had had. Which was more important? Literature or journalism? Ideas or reality? New York or Asia? These were the very things I felt caught between. You couldn’t say which was more important. It was simply a very sad week.
Val Wang is a writer and editor living in Brooklyn. More Val Wang.
“People Who Eat Darkness”: The disappearing blonde
A true crime story set in Tokyo illuminates the complicated truths behind media cliches
Joji Obara and Lucie Blackman (Credit: Estate of Lucie Jane Blackman) Lucie Blackman, 21, went out for the afternoon in 2000, phoning her roommate and best friend Louise to arrange a meeting later that night. Lucie never showed up, and within a few days she’d become one of those vanished blondes whose fates fuel headlines and hours of speculative media coverage. She was British, a former flight attendant, and she and Louise were living in Tokyo. They were also bar hostesses, a profession with a very specific meaning in Japan, difficult to explain to foreigners and not entirely clear to the Japanese themselves. Lucie both did and didn’t match the classic Missing Blonde profile, and for a while the mystery of what happened to her threatened to lapse into permanent obscurity.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Corporate criminals gone wild
The maker of the documentary film "Inside Job" has a new book excoriating Wall Street -- and President Obama
A detail from the cover of "Predator Nation" “Inside Job,” Charles Ferguson’s Oscar-winning documentary film on how government, Wall Street and academia colluded to deliver us the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, made a powerful case that something was very very rotten at the heart of the American political/economic nexus. His follow-up book, “Predator Nation: Corporate Criminals, Political Corruption, and the Hijacking of America,” can be considered the legal brief that dots every “i” and crosses every “t” in his argument. A tightly argued, profusely footnoted and deeply enraged castigation of everyone involved, “Predator Nation” isn’t just a factually unchallengeable account of how Wall Street blew up the global economy. It’s a denunciation, a call for justice and a warning: After getting away with the crime of the century, Wall Street still isn’t satisfied.
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Andrew Leonard is a staff writer at Salon. On Twitter, @koxinga21. More Andrew Leonard.
Can you identify?
Science shows that the only way around some readers' prejudices is to trick them
(Credit: Shutterstock/Salon) The news of recent research documenting how readers identify with the main characters in stories has mostly been taken as confirmation of the value of literary role models. Lisa Libby, an assistant professor at Ohio State University and co-author of a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, explained that subjects who read a short story in which the protagonist overcomes obstacles in order to vote were more likely to vote themselves several days later.
The suggestibility of readers isn’t news. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s novel of a sensitive young man destroyed by unrequited love, “The Sorrows of Young Werther,” inspired a rash of suicides by would-be Werthers in the late 1700s. Jack Kerouac has launched a thousand road trips. Still, this is part of science’s job: Running empirical tests on common knowledge — if for no other reason than because common knowledge (and common sense) is often wrong.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
“The Aleppo Codex”: The bizarre history of a precious book
A reporter traces the shadowy fate of the definitive version of the Hebrew Bible
Matti Friedman An ancient and priceless book, a murky history of evasions and coverups, an underground of sinister and possibly violent dealers, a former spy who drops tantalizing hints and a wily 84-year-old millionaire who says stuff like, “The problem with this story is that it could damage your health”: Are these the ingredients for a cheesy, improbable historical thriller? Yet “The Aleppo Codex,” Matti Friedman’s account of his attempts to learn the history of one of the world’s most precious books, sports all of these assets, and it’s nonfiction. If reporting this story damaged Friedman’s health, it probably happened when he realized what he’d stumbled into and his reporter’s heart started beating in doubletime.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Augusten Burroughs: Conquer trauma by letting it go
Salon exclusive: The best-selling memoirist says past horrors haunt us because we think about them too much. Stop
Augusten Burroughs Many people continue to feel influenced and even controlled by the things that happened to them a long time ago. Sometimes, people harbor dark, traumatic memories from childhood. Or fragments of memories — incomplete scenes, uncomfortable feelings, perhaps even a sense of certainty that something specific and terrible happened to them, but little more than this.
Others experienced something traumatic in adulthood that continues to affect them day to day many years later. Maybe an assault has left a person afraid to leave their home or enter a particular neighborhood.
Continue Reading CloseAugusten Burroughs' many books include "Runnning With Scissors," "Dry," "Sellevision," "Magical Thinking" and "Possible Side Effects." His latest book is "This Is How." More Augusten Burroughs.
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