Abortion
Looking abortion in the face
My second-trimester baby had a genetic abnormality, and I decided to terminate my pregnancy. I know exactly what I did, I wept for the fetus I killed -- and I have no regrets.
The pro-choice and anti-choice world is abuzz with debate and discussion about Frances Kissling’s 7,500-word essay titled “Is There Life After Roe: How to Think About the Fetus.” I found the article fascinating for a variety of reasons, not least because it is aligned in many ways with my current thinking about abortion.
I had a second trimester abortion. I was pregnant with a much-wanted child who was diagnosed with a genetic abnormality. I made a choice to terminate the pregnancy. It was my third pregnancy, and I was very obviously showing. More important, I could feel the baby move. We had seen him on the ultrasound; I have a very clear memory of his two tiny feet, perfect pearl toes, footprint arches, round heels. This was, for me, a baby, not a “clump of cells” as an older woman, steeped in the arcane language of the early feminist movement, called him. He was my baby, and I chose to end his life.
Let me be very clear here. I support absolutely the right to abortion. I give financial support to Planned Parenthood, to NARAL. I am fanatical on this issue. I believe that every woman is entitled to choose when and if to end a pregnancy. I also believe that to end a pregnancy like mine is to kill a fetus. Kill. I use that word very consciously and specifically.
I have no regrets.
I made a choice based on my own and my family’s needs and limitations. I did not want to raise a genetically compromised child. I did not want my children to have to contend with the massive diversion of parental attention, and the consequences of being compelled to care for their brother after I died. I wanted a genetically perfect baby, and because that was something I could control, I chose to end his life.
This decision was not without its terrible costs. I mourned this baby’s death. The night before the termination I lay awake, feeling him roll and spin within my body. I wept for the death of the baby inside me, and I also wept for the death of the “fantasy baby,” the perfect baby I lost when the amnio results came back. I was catapulted into a six-month depression after the abortion, a depression that ended only when I got pregnant again. On Yom Kippur I wrote an essay about what I had done and read it before my congregation. One of the lines in that essay asked how I could apologize for being so inadequate a mother that I would not accept an inadequate child.
Everyone knows now how early a fetus becomes a baby. Women who have been pregnant have seen their babies on ultrasounds. They know that there is a terrible truth to those horrific pictures the anti-choice fanatics hold up in front of abortion clinics. When I was wheeled into the operating room, I begged my doctor to make sure my baby felt no pain before he was torn out of my womb. I knew the grim truth of a D&E (dilation and evacuation) — I knew he would be dismembered — and I wanted him dead before this happened. My doctor told me that he would make sure my baby felt no pain. You see, all this is horrible, and grim, and terrible to think about. But contemporary women know the truth about abortion, and those of us who remain firmly committed to a woman’s right to choose need to accept and acknowledge that truth, or we risk losing our right completely.
I talked yesterday to my brilliant friend and role model Lynn Paltrow, a woman who has devoted her life and career to pregnant women and their rights. Lynn represents women who have been charged with various offenses because of drug use when pregnant. Lynn said something truly brilliant, I thought. To be relevant to the contemporary world, to be valid, the pro-choice movement must listen to pregnant women. We must listen to the woman and value her words. A woman who is unwillingly pregnant, whose pregnancy at, say, 10 weeks, is nothing more than a source of desperation, of misery, knows one truth and we must respect it and honor it. A pregnant woman whose 4-month-old fetus has Down syndrome knows another truth, and we must respect that, too. A pregnant woman whose batterer kicks her in the stomach, trying to end her baby’s life, knows another truth. Respecting the truths of these pregnant women allows us to deal in shades of gray, to liberate ourselves from the straitjacket of the black and white.
I know why the feminist movement (of whom I am a proud member) has been so wary of using the language of fetal life. A senator who uses the phrase “partial-birth abortion” is exploiting a rare procedure to attack our broader right. I also know a woman who had two “partial-birth abortions,” or D&Xs (dilation and extraction) as they are more accurately called. My friend Tiffany is a carrier of a terrible genetic abnormality. In addition to other defects, her babies developed with no faces, with no way to eat or breathe. They were doomed. The only way to extract them without hurting her chances of ever having another baby was through a D&X.
Tiffany named her children. She mourned and mourns their deaths. She is the face of the “partial-birth abortion.” If we listened to women like Tiffany, we could acknowledge the value of the babies they lost, and defend absolutely their right not to carry them full term, not to force themselves and their babies to undergo the trauma of a doomed birth.
Listen to the pregnant woman. Value her. She values the life growing inside her. Listen to the pregnant woman, and you cannot help but defend her right to abortion.
Ayelet Waldman is the author of "Love and Other Impossible Pursuits," "Daughter's Keeper" and of the Mommy-Track mystery series. She lives in Berkeley, Calif., with her husband, Michael Chabon, and their four children. More Ayelet Waldman.
An overdue abortion access expansion
Will Congress let the military cover abortions in the cases of female soldiers who suffer rape or incest?
Jeanne Shaheen, Dianne Feinstein and Patty Murray (Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite) As political dares go, this one could hardly have been more blatant. “[Republicans] say they didn’t launch a war on women,” Sen. Barbara Boxer said Wednesday, “so we’re giving them a chance to walk this back.” She added, “Personally I say it’s a war on women, and the more they protest it the more I say it.” And Sen. Barbara Mikulski channeled ”Network” (or maybe old-school feminist rage): “We’re mad as hell and we’re not gonna take it anymore.” Even Harry Reid got in on the action, saying on the floor yesterday, “Republicans deny they’re waging a war on women, yet they’ve launched a series of attacks on women’s access to healthcare and contraception this year. Now they have an opportunity to back up their excuses with action.”
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Irin Carmon is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @irincarmon or email her at icarmon@salon.com. More Irin Carmon.
“Not allowed to speak”: GOP silences D.C. rep
Rep. Eleanor Norton tells Salon how Republicans wouldn't let her talk at a hearing to ban abortions in her district
House Republicans seem to have learned this much in the past few months: It looks bad to turn away a woman from a hearing on women’s health. So when D.C. congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton was denied the courtesy of testifying at a subcommittee hearing yesterday in her district on banning abortions after 20 weeks, Chairman Trent Franks, R-Ariz., suggested a compromise of sorts.
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Irin Carmon is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @irincarmon or email her at icarmon@salon.com. More Irin Carmon.
Abortions made public
States want more data on abortion patients. Zealots want their hands on it. Shame is the new anti-choice strategy
(Credit: Cannaregio via Shutterstock/Salon/Benjamin Wheelock) It was an “anonymous informant,” Operation Rescue claimed last week, after someone slipped them the April records of 86 women who were treated at Central Family Medical. The clinic’s lawyer was blunter. “It certainly appears to me that a crime was committed,” Cheryl Pilate told the Kansas City Star. Though the clinic (which performs abortions) had already reported a break-in to a locked dumpster, Pilate said it wouldn’t have contained patient records, which are shredded. The “informant” must have gotten the documents – containing names, addresses and details of procedures – another way.
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Irin Carmon is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @irincarmon or email her at icarmon@salon.com. More Irin Carmon.
Texas’ abortion enforcer
Fifth Circuit Court Judge Jerry Smith makes sure that the state's antiabortion legislation gets upheld
Jerry Smith Here is what the state of Texas considers “irreparable harm”: Continuing to provide Planned Parenthood with federal funds for the Texas Women’s Health program, which it has done for several years. Here is what it does not find harmful: immediately denying healthcare access to tens of thousands of women who have been going to Planned Parenthood affiliates for basic health services that aren’t abortions.
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Irin Carmon is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @irincarmon or email her at icarmon@salon.com. More Irin Carmon.
The myth of the “morning-after abortion pill”
There's a reason why people mistake emergency contraception and abortion: The right intentionally confuses the two
(Credit: Shutterstock/Salon/Benjamin Wheelock) It started around February, when Republicans were still eager to talk about contraception. The Obama administration, or so Mitt Romney charged in Colorado, was forcing religious institutions to provide “morning-after pills –in other words abortive pills — and the like, at no cost.”
It was, of course, a lie. Romney was conflating two different pills: emergency contraception, known as the morning-after pill, which prevents a pregnancy; and chemical abortion, or mifepristone, which ends a pregnancy of up to seven weeks’ gestation and isn’t covered under the new guidelines. Since both pills were marketed in the U.S. around the same time, even some pro-choicers have gotten confused. But Colorado happens to be the epicenter of people confusing them on purpose. It’s the birthplace of the Personhood movement and home to Focus on the Family, both of which have strategically called emergency contraception “abortion” on the scientifically unproven basis that they could block a fertilized egg from implanting.
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Irin Carmon is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @irincarmon or email her at icarmon@salon.com. More Irin Carmon.
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