Fiction
“Necklace of Kisses” by Francesca Lia Block
In this lyrical fairy tale, Weetzie Bat -- the post-punk heroine of Block's young-adult books -- finds herself all grown up.
It will surprise none of Weetzie Bat’s many admirers to learn that, in adulthood, her favorite word (or at least her current favorite) is “numinous.” Weetzie explains that it means “supernatural, mysterious, a sense of the presence of divinity,” and hastens to add that she would be sure to use it “if anyone ever asked me to be on that program ‘Inside the Actors Studio.’”
For those of you who are already bewildered, Weetzie — it’s her real name, thank you very much — is the post-punk L.A. fashion-plate heroine of several charming and distinctive young-adult novels by Francesca Lia Block. (You can read them all in the 1998 anthology “Dangerous Angels,” and you certainly should.) Dreamy, romantic and a little too self-involved, Weetzie is something like the hipster stepchild of J.K. Rowling and Judy Blume. Or to put it in a way adult Weetzie would embrace, she lives in a world where the characters from “Six Feet Under” have moved to Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s hometown.
On the one hand, Weetzie has dealt with her beloved father’s suicide and her mother’s alcoholism; she has had a boyfriend turn gay (and become her best friend instead) and close friends die of AIDS. On the other, she has confronted powerful supernatural forces, wielded for good, for evil and for the territory in between. She once had a genie emerge from a lamp, “of all things,” to offer her three wishes — warning her that wishes for world peace don’t work — and he reappears at a crucial juncture in Block’s newest novel, “Necklace of Kisses.”
It’s a dangerous gamble to take a beloved character — whom we first met when she and we were much younger — and fling her all the way forward into midlife crisis. (Block is also the author of several non-Weetzie young-adult novels and one intriguingly kinky volume of adult erotica.) In “Necklace of Kisses” Weetzie is a 40-year-old mother of two; she still wears vintage orange sneakers and a pink-and-green Pucci tunic, but she hasn’t loved any new music, she thinks, since Kurt Cobain’s death. (Unless you count the soundtrack to “Hedwig and the Angry Inch.”) Worse yet, her 20-year relationship with Max, the “secret agent lover man” she demanded from the genie, has gone stale. They don’t kiss anymore, let alone have sex, and since the horrific events of 9/11 Max just sits around fretting over the news.
So Weetzie packs up the Pucci and a few other favored items of clothing (a list is provided) from the cottage left her by her gay ex-boyfriend’s late grandmother Fifi, and moves into a fabulous structure known only as the “pink hotel,” chasing a kiss that never happened there between her and a handsome boy named Zane Starling 22 years earlier. I approached this story with considerable trepidation; could the adventures of middle-aged Weetzie, still overly obsessed with trying to emulate Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn, be anything more than precious, wan imitations of the originals?
Wonder of wonders: They could. In its series of phantasmagorical, quasi-erotic episodes, “Necklace of Kisses” offers Weetzie a chance to come to terms with who she was and who she has become, and the result is a heartfelt work of adult fantasy that sings in many voices. Yes, the pink hotel’s desk clerk is a woman who has turned blue from unrequited love, the chambermaid is a literally invisible Salvadoran immigrant, and the seductive room-service waiter appears to be the randy god Pan. (If Weetzie is to remain faithful to Max, he surely presents the greatest threat.) Yes, along the way Weetzie lends aid to a mermaid captured by a rich man and mutilated with plastic surgery, and a fairy princess trying to save her changeling son from evil elvish in-laws.
You almost expect all that. But “Necklace of Kisses” also reinforces what a lyrical but economical writer Block is. Her tributes to Los Angeles, “a city that was partly paradise, or at least pretending to be paradise,” with its smoggy sunsets, wild animals and night-blooming flowers, will make you pine for the place even if you think you hate it. When Weetzie seems too obsessed with fashion to be taken seriously (which is almost always), Block reminds us that her heroine also knows that “the world is a sad and scary place,” and fabulousness her only defense. A passage in which Weetzie (officially a vegan teetotaler these days) remembers her misspent nightclubbing youth captures the late-punk experience in two sentences:
“Stepping into that world of music and darkness and smoke and beer, where you could forget who you were because you hadn’t been it for that long anyway, where you could be a real artist, a stranger, dead movie star, broken doll, ghoul, gay boy, devil, princess, warrior, imagining you had found your muse, best friend, healer, beloved. Going home alone.”
Unlikely as it seems, in the end Block turns this novel about one vain woman’s search to renew herself into one of the most persuasive fictional responses to the horrors of 9/11. Weetzie may love the numinous things around her at the pink hotel, but to be happy even she needs more than genies, mermaids and fairies. She must face her unfulfilled dreams, her two grown-up daughters (OK, so one of them is actually a witch’s daughter who was dumped on her doorstep) and the fact that she still loves Max, wounded and depressed as he is, with all her heart. By the transformative final chapter I was weeping profusely. But don’t worry — if Weetzie actually behaves like an adult for the first time in 40 years, she still isn’t taking off the Hello Kitty wristwatch, no matter what her daughters think.
50 shades of Shutterstock
Slide show: Everyone's favorite light-bondage bestseller illustrated by inexplicable stock photography SLIDE SHOW
This week, for roughly the millionth time, E.L. James’ romance-bondage trilogy “50 Shades” nabs the No. 1, 2 and 3 spots on the New York Times bestseller lists. We don’t get it either. Every page of that book, which famously began as “Twilight” fan fiction, elicits a sigh of confusion and weird secondary embarrassment. The question is: Who would read this? (The answer is: Apparently everyone.) It’s the same baffled, helpless feeling we get when we sort through stock photos on a daily basis. Stock photos – which have been the subject of recent outstanding Internet satire – are used by this site, and many others, to illustrate our flood of content. Many are plain and simple, but a good portion are flat-out mind-blowing. Why did anyone think that photo was a good idea? It only made sense to join these forces. And so, we present to you passages from the most head-scratching bestseller of our time, illustrated with the assistance of inexplicable stock photography.
Megaphone by Natalie Bakopoulos
Miracles happen, even in an Athens crippled by a garbage strike, to a young mother unsure of her ability to love
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) It’s the third week of the garbage strike and Athens has begun to smell. Bright-colored trash bags fill the curbs and alleyways, and we have learned to step over the rubbish and avoid the blocks that had become unnavigable. We know which stretches are particularly foul — a stretch along Mavili Square, or the entire top end of Monastiraki. Odos Athinas is a sea of trash, and Omonia is ghastly but we don’t go there anyway. May has gone from unseasonably cool to raging hot, and the garbage seems to be melting. In front of the museum it’s like yet another installation project. When I arrive each morning I want to wretch.
Continue Reading CloseNatalie Bakopoulos's first novel, "The Green Shore," will be published by Simon & Schuster in June 2012. Her work has appeared in Tin House, Ninth Letter, Granta Online, and The O. Henry Prize Stories 2010, and she is a contributing editor for the online journal Fiction Writers Review. More Natalie Bakopoulos.
Almost by Chris Pavone
She never thought of herself as ambitious, until motherhood and career collided in one horrifying hospital ride
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) It’s just before dawn when Isabel puts the final page down on the fat stack of paper that sits on the rumpled bedspread, next to an overflowing crystal ashtray and a crumpled soft-pack of cigarettes. She’d tried Wellbutrin and Xanax; she’d used patches and gum. In the end, the only thing that made her quit smoking was being pregnant.
But then, after everything, she couldn’t help but start up again. At first it was just a single cigarette per day, or two. Then it became a few, and within months she was back to full-throttle. Over the past couple of years, she’s tried to quit a few times, but not seriously. She anticipates — she accepts — failure. Because she doesn’t want to quit, not really. She wants instead to try, and fail.
Continue Reading CloseMemorial Day fiction: Are we there yet?
Salon exclusive: At the start of the summer fiction season, new stories from Chris Pavone and Natalie Bakopoulos
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) “Are we there yet?”
It’s a dreaded sentence. When it’s spoken by an anxious child from the back seat, it’s enough to make stressed-out parents wish they’d never taken a family vacation in the first place. And even if it’s delivered as a sing-songy punch line, from an impatient partner or spouse on a long road trip, it’s an irritating eye-roller of a joke.
So this Memorial Day weekend — the unofficial start of the summer vacation season, and therefore the summer fiction season — we asked two novelists to reclaim the sentence in a new and adult context. For our latest fiction project, there was only one simple rule: Each story had to include the line “Are we there yet?” in a fresh and surprising way.
Continue Reading CloseDavid Daley is the senior culture editor of Salon. More David Daley.
“Frankenstein” remixed
This masterful new adaptation of Mary Shelley's classic novel may be the best interactive fiction yet
Whatever interactive fiction is (and we’re still figuring that out) it suffers from all the problems of traditional fiction and then some. The vast majority of novels and short stories aren’t much good, but when a branching fiction — along the lines of the old “Choose Your Own Adventure” children’s books — fails to engage, the first impulse is to blame the form rather than the content. Let “Frankenstein,” just released by Inkle Studios and Profile Books, serve as a reproach to that reflex. The app is a creative, subtle and sensitive adaptation of Mary Shelley’s classic novella, and it has singlehandedly renewed this critic’s hopes for interactive fiction.
Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
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