Fiction
Finding our religion
"Mission to America," Walter Kirn's delightful portrait of a nation at loose spiritual ends, outdoes the work of Tom Wolfe.
If only Tom Wolfe were a little bit brighter, he could be a novelist like Walter Kirn. Kirn picks an aspect of contemporary life — pharmaceutical personality adjustment (“Thumbsucker”), the frictionless, placeless existence of business travelers (“Up in the Air”) and now America’s spiritual yearnings — and uses fiction to map its nooks and crannies. Theme-driven novels have their drawbacks. Do I entirely believe in Mason LaVerle, the narrator of “Mission to America,” a missionary from a tiny, isolated Montanan sect sent out to find converts, cash and a wife to freshen up the gene pool? OK, not quite, but even if Mason often seems a too-worldly mouthpiece for Kirn’s own observations, what he has to say about what he finds on the road never fails to delight.
The Aboriginal Fulfilled Apostles, Mason’s people, practice a lovely, syncretic faith that embraces the Prince of Flocks (Jesus Christ), Hinduism, Native American pantheism and the sayings of their Seeress, the third in a series of matriarchal leaders. One of their major doctrines outlines “Edenic Nutritional Science,” a complicated eating plan designed to prevent the buildup of “tarry residue.” The AFA are most American in their preoccupation with food; they regard it as “more than physical sustenance; it was emotion materialized, hardened spirit, and its ingestion, absorption and expulsion mirrored the deepest patterns of the universe.”
Mason and his partner, Elder Stark, have been raised to believe that the residents of “Terrestria,” the outside world, languish in a state of spiritual starvation. What they discover is a populace glutted at a table overflowing with assorted and hand-tailored faiths. They meet teenage Wiccans and ski-bum Christians and, most disturbing of all, the very rich. Elder succumbs immediately to the seductions of junk food, sucking down gallon-size sodas and noshing on Cheetos, but when he sets his cap on converting an Aspen tycoon, the patriarch of the Effingham clan, Mason worries that Elder will lose his soul as well as his health.
Eff Sr. has an enormous, ersatz ranch, and struts around like a Wolfeian “man in full” — which naturally leads to a whole lot of tarry residue. When the Apostles meet him, his innards are so messed up he can’t even eat the meat from the bison herd he’s installed in what Mason describes as “the Effinghams’ sprawling, private fairyland.” The Effinghams also have a pack of wolves. Says Eff Jr.’s girlfriend, “They wanted wolves because wolves are rare And if one trophy eats another trophy, fabulous. It’s life’s tragic circle, and all on their own property. That’s a trophy in itself.”
Everyone Mason meets is chasing one version or another of Edenic Nutritional Science — a state of authenticity invalidated by the very fact that they have to chase it. One girl wants Mason to dress up in a “costume,” the kind of Western shirt he’s worn all his life, and pretend to rough her up in bed. He meets a born-again hiker whose core religious ritual is the recitation of his past misdeeds, obviously exaggerated: “Reliving his degradation had struck some spark in him and it was glowing now like a blown-on coal his thoughts were clearly still shoving him farther away, toward some ultimate dark drama that he might or might not have actually lived through but whose telling would let out the pressure inside his skull.”
Stashed up at the ranch, there’s a writer driven insane by the job of recording Eff Sr.’s banal personal philosophy and a courtesan of supremely artificial appearance who walks away with “the assured light steps of someone who’d made a profession of departures.” Mason’s quest provides the framework for a sketchbook of Americans vexed by matters of faith; the minor characters have that ideal mixture of idiosyncrasy and universality you find in great feature journalism. By comparison, the main story, about Mason’s thwarted love life, is a tad pallid, but it hardly matters. The Apostles, after all, are extravagantly Made Up. Everything else in “Mission to America” is the nation in full.
Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
50 shades of Shutterstock
Slide show: Everyone's favorite light-bondage bestseller illustrated by inexplicable stock photography SLIDE SHOW
This week, for roughly the millionth time, E.L. James’ romance-bondage trilogy “50 Shades” nabs the No. 1, 2 and 3 spots on the New York Times bestseller lists. We don’t get it either. Every page of that book, which famously began as “Twilight” fan fiction, elicits a sigh of confusion and weird secondary embarrassment. The question is: Who would read this? (The answer is: Apparently everyone.) It’s the same baffled, helpless feeling we get when we sort through stock photos on a daily basis. Stock photos – which have been the subject of recent outstanding Internet satire – are used by this site, and many others, to illustrate our flood of content. Many are plain and simple, but a good portion are flat-out mind-blowing. Why did anyone think that photo was a good idea? It only made sense to join these forces. And so, we present to you passages from the most head-scratching bestseller of our time, illustrated with the assistance of inexplicable stock photography.
Megaphone by Natalie Bakopoulos
Miracles happen, even in an Athens crippled by a garbage strike, to a young mother unsure of her ability to love
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) It’s the third week of the garbage strike and Athens has begun to smell. Bright-colored trash bags fill the curbs and alleyways, and we have learned to step over the rubbish and avoid the blocks that had become unnavigable. We know which stretches are particularly foul — a stretch along Mavili Square, or the entire top end of Monastiraki. Odos Athinas is a sea of trash, and Omonia is ghastly but we don’t go there anyway. May has gone from unseasonably cool to raging hot, and the garbage seems to be melting. In front of the museum it’s like yet another installation project. When I arrive each morning I want to wretch.
Continue Reading CloseNatalie Bakopoulos's first novel, "The Green Shore," will be published by Simon & Schuster in June 2012. Her work has appeared in Tin House, Ninth Letter, Granta Online, and The O. Henry Prize Stories 2010, and she is a contributing editor for the online journal Fiction Writers Review. More Natalie Bakopoulos.
Almost by Chris Pavone
She never thought of herself as ambitious, until motherhood and career collided in one horrifying hospital ride
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) It’s just before dawn when Isabel puts the final page down on the fat stack of paper that sits on the rumpled bedspread, next to an overflowing crystal ashtray and a crumpled soft-pack of cigarettes. She’d tried Wellbutrin and Xanax; she’d used patches and gum. In the end, the only thing that made her quit smoking was being pregnant.
But then, after everything, she couldn’t help but start up again. At first it was just a single cigarette per day, or two. Then it became a few, and within months she was back to full-throttle. Over the past couple of years, she’s tried to quit a few times, but not seriously. She anticipates — she accepts — failure. Because she doesn’t want to quit, not really. She wants instead to try, and fail.
Continue Reading CloseMemorial Day fiction: Are we there yet?
Salon exclusive: At the start of the summer fiction season, new stories from Chris Pavone and Natalie Bakopoulos
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) “Are we there yet?”
It’s a dreaded sentence. When it’s spoken by an anxious child from the back seat, it’s enough to make stressed-out parents wish they’d never taken a family vacation in the first place. And even if it’s delivered as a sing-songy punch line, from an impatient partner or spouse on a long road trip, it’s an irritating eye-roller of a joke.
So this Memorial Day weekend — the unofficial start of the summer vacation season, and therefore the summer fiction season — we asked two novelists to reclaim the sentence in a new and adult context. For our latest fiction project, there was only one simple rule: Each story had to include the line “Are we there yet?” in a fresh and surprising way.
Continue Reading CloseDavid Daley is the senior culture editor of Salon. More David Daley.
“Frankenstein” remixed
This masterful new adaptation of Mary Shelley's classic novel may be the best interactive fiction yet
Whatever interactive fiction is (and we’re still figuring that out) it suffers from all the problems of traditional fiction and then some. The vast majority of novels and short stories aren’t much good, but when a branching fiction — along the lines of the old “Choose Your Own Adventure” children’s books — fails to engage, the first impulse is to blame the form rather than the content. Let “Frankenstein,” just released by Inkle Studios and Profile Books, serve as a reproach to that reflex. The app is a creative, subtle and sensitive adaptation of Mary Shelley’s classic novella, and it has singlehandedly renewed this critic’s hopes for interactive fiction.
Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
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