SALON

Saturday, Dec 3, 2005 12:46 AM UTC

A man’s right to choose, take three

Yet another look at Dalton Conley's call for men's rights in abortion decisions.

By

Topics: Broadsheet, Love and Sex,

I’ve just gone through the many lovely and sensible letters Salon readers posted in response to my partial defense, yesterday, of Dalton Conley’s call for a greater role for fathers in the pregnancy decisions of mothers. In case you missed it, I argued that a man deserves the right to call for his partner’s abortion when the woman wants a kid and he does not. It was, to say the least, controversial — and several letters stopped me cold. “So when do we start herding pregnant women onto armored trucks at gunpoint?” asked one reader. I have to say, it’s a good question.

Because on reflection, I’m not sure I really meant what I said. While reading the letters, I kept wondering, What the hell was I thinking to say that men should have the right to compel women to have abortions? Did I actually say that? Because isn’t that insane?

Yeah, it is a little bit insane. Because what I should have said was this: It’s really unfair that men don’t have more rights in matters of disputed pregnancies; men should, I think, have some say when the woman wants the kid and he does not. Probably most men — myself included — would want to have some input in whether or not they become parents. But I also should have noted that there’s something impractically nutso about the idea of compelling a woman to have an abortion if she wants the kid and he doesn’t, and that even if I espoused that position, I’m not sure how serious I could have been.

Maybe, as many readers said, this is one of those problems with no good solution. I still think Dalton Conley was right to point out how unfair things are today. But life’s unfair, some readers said wryly. When a woman wants the child and the man does not, or vice versa, that’s a puzzle you’re not going to solve.

Farhad Manjoo is a Salon staff writer and the author of True Enough: Learning to Live in a Post-Fact Society. More Farhad Manjoo.

Next Article

Related Stories

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

The week in 10 pics

close X
  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • Thumbnails
  • Fullscreen
  • 1 of 11
  • Lisa Montgomery embraces her nephew Thursday after a tornado tore apart her home in Cleburne, Texas. The twister killed six people and destroyed entire swaths of the North Texas town.
    Credit: AP/LM Otero

  • Jack McMahon, the defense attorney for abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, speaks outside the Criminal Justice Center in Philadelphia Tuesday. His client was convicted of killing three babies in his clinic, and will serve multiple life sentences.
    Credit: AP/Matt Rourke

  • A photo taken Monday captures Vice President Joe Biden's response to a Milwaukee second-grader's innovative proposal to end America's epidemic of gun violence. This guy!
    Credit: AP/Jenny Aicher

  • Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., flanked by a grouper-eyed Michele Bachmann, addresses the IRS' admission that it targeted Tea Party groups in advance of the 2012 election. In an op-ed for CNN Thursday, the Kentucky senator slammed the president for his faux outrage.
    Credit: AP/Molly Riley

  • Ousted IRS chief Steven Miller is sworn in on Capitol Hill Friday. Miller testified before the House Ways and Means Committee on the extra scrutiny the agency gave conservative groups applying for tax-exempt status.
    Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite

  • Attorney General Eric Holder pauses as he testifies on Capitol Hill before the House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. Holder is under fire, among other things, for the Justice Department's gathering of phone records at the Associated Press.
    Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster

  • O.J. Simpson sits during an evidentiary hearing at Clark County District Court in Las Vegas, Nev., Thursday. Simpson, who is currently serving a nine-to-33-year sentence in state prison for armed robbery and kidnapping, is using a writ of habeas corpus to seek a new trial.
    Credit: AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal/Jeff Scheid

  • Major Tom to ground control: On Sunday astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded the first music video from space, a cover of David Bowie's "Space Oddity."
    Credit: AP/NASA/Chris Hadfield

  • When it rains it pours. President Barack Obama speaks during a news conference Thursday with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, inexplicably inspiring an #umbrellagate Twitter meme.
    Credit: AP/Jacquelyn Martin

  • A smoke plume rises high above a road block at the intersection of County A and Ross Road east of Solon Springs, Wis., Tuesday. No injuries were reported, but the the wildfire caused evacuations across northwestern Wisconsin.
    Credit: AP/The Duluth News-Tribune/Clint Austin

  • Recent Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • Thumbnails
  • Fullscreen
  • 1 of 11

Related Videos

Comments

 132 Comments

Comment Preview

Your name will appear as username

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> <strong> <i> <blockquote>

follow salon

Most Read

Popular on Reddit

links from salon.com

vote
Oklahoma senator: Tornado aid “totally different” from Sandy aid
2922 points2923 points | 1499 comments
vote
Anyone Regret Slashing National Weather Service Budget Now?: With GOP-backed cuts to forecasting agency, experts warn future storms will go undetected and more lives lost
891 points892 points | 441 comments
vote
Oklahoma senator wants to offset tornado aid with other cuts
132 points133 points | 42 comments
vote
Horrifying new trend: Posting rapes to Facebook " In Chicago this weekend, prosecutors announced three teenaged boys will tried as adults for aggravated criminal sexual assault after allegedly raping a 12-year-old girl — and posting a video of the attack on Facebook."
22 points23 points | 13 comments
vote
Recent scandals are Whitewater redux, not Watergate
21 points22 points | 2 comments

From Around the Web

Presented by Scribol
listener_new_rect The Listener: So long, Sookie Stackhouse

Recommendations